Sexual Content OCD

My so ocd was triggered from a movie where the kid had anxiety and at the end of the movie someone told the kid he was gay . So I question I’ve always had anxiety does that mean I’m gay ? Shook it off and a few days later my mind was telling me I was gay and it’s been down hill since . I got over it a few years back and it didn’t bother me I went on with life . Now it’s back triggered again from a tik tok . 🤦🏻‍♂️ but I’ve always suffered from anxiety and health ocd always thinking I was going to die

I arrived to the conclusion that I like feelings that came out from those kind of imaginations! I often include my friends in the picture, but I know that in reality nothing of that will ever happen!! So I is like a "fantasy of the moment, that get me excited!" Nothing more!

My sexual content comes with my real event, when I was 18 last year, I went on dating apps for 6 months and while using them, I sent a lot of nudes and exchanged photos with people, it wasn’t until I stopped when my OCD really picked up on it, before I felt ashamed in the sense that it’s not who I see myself as nor was it something I wanted to continue, but my OCD started adding a lot of what ifs, like “what if someone lied to me about their age” “what if you hurt someone doing this” I was incredibly naive and dumb, I still panic a lot most days, but I suppose practicing ERP and uncertainty is really helpful, also knowing that many people have done what I’ve done and is pretty common helped me a lot, false memory attaches a lot as well, it’s all horrible, but in the case for intrusive thoughts, not adding emotion or meaning to them is important, while they’re horrifying and feel awful, they’re just thoughts, thoughts can’t hurt anyone

I have had sexual intrusive thoughts for a very long time, they’re extremely disturbing to me. I think it has something to do with the fact I was SA when I was really little. My relationship with sex has always been very fearful.