sometimes i breakdown crying because i keep having thoughts like “but what if this is what you want? or what if you wanna do this now?? what if your values are changing? what if everything’s gonna go wrong for you?”
I feel you. Do you ever get the urges with the thoughts as well, making it very convincing you're this dark person? Bc that's how I feel🙁
yes!!! terribly
@Anonymous_234 Oh thank God. I mean not thank God you have it but thank God I can relate😭. Sorry that came off wrong. But sometimes I feel like I get them 24/7 n about all weird things like pedophilia, incest, beastiality, anything super vile n weird. N it's like these groinal responses and urges sometimes make me truly think I like these things.... but I feel disgusting too so I hope I dont😭
@Anonymous same for me i don’t even know where to start to get better
Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore
I look back at all past interactions with others and think “what if they were a minor” even though there is no particular reason to think that they were. Is that a common obsession with Pocd? Has anyone else had this intrusive thought? It’s so scary and exhausting.
i’m terrified to get a diagnosis. What if it’s not actually OCD??? I made a list of reasons why i think so and then i think what if im lying and i actually don’t do this stuff and am just dramatic and i just want to have OCD so then my thoughts are justified?? I have struggled in the past year with Pocd & Rocd and then also some bits of thinking im constantly in danger or being watched? I’m scared.
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