I get so guilty if I say something and it wasn’t completely the truth and I feel so sick and I often confess it and then it makes things worse for the other person. My therapist wants me to do exposure therapy by telling white lies, and it’s killing me. I can barely look my wife in the eye because I feel like I lied to her and it’s such a burden for me to carry and I feel disconnected from her.
I can understand this, I often feel as though I owe people the courtesy of explaining everything that’s going on in my mind. The thing is you don’t though. While you think it makes the situation better because you’re being such a good person, the reality is you’d probably just confuse the living daylights out of the other person. When I’m struggling I just say “I’m feeling very anxious right now, and I’m using the tools I’ve learned to deal with it” and leave it at that.
Last year I used and app to talk about my POCD and people called me a pedo and told me to kill myself. It has been months and I had even forgotten about it, but I talked about my mom yesterday and I feel a sense of doom now. Like, I could have lived my life normally, but this happened. I feel overhelmed, and don't know exactly what to do, cuz when I stop to think about it, it is something awful, but I spend months just not caring, I don't know what to do, it was not even close to the worst thing that has ever happened to me, but it still feels terrible, it keeps echoing in my mind, and It won't go away, and yes I know it is OCD, I just want to let It go. And I lied somethings to my mom cuz if I told the whole truth she would be even more heartbroken (I just didn't say what app it was and I said it was recently, and not months ago) And I feel bad, but now I can't go back, but if I told her the whole truth, she would've just broke down. Basically she thinks it was yesterday and in another app, and I told her I just commented on something. But I feel so bad! I don't want to tell the truth to her, but also, I don't know...
I just got off my session today and after having a confession to my husband last night with a compulsion, he obviously is going to have more questions. My therapist says not to confess because I am growing my OCD . However, this is really OCD and is about something that actually happened. My husband said, that it sounds like I have someone in my life who is justifying withholding information or lying to him. Of course when I have my obsession compulsions, he makes sense. Can somebody help explain this to me? How is my husband not right or is he?
I feel like I need to confess everything to my wife. This week it’s gotten me in a lot of trouble, there’s more I feel I need to confess but I know it’ll hurt her. How do I just not!
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