Not really related to OCD (or at least I don’t think so, maybe a little perfectionism), but I’m out of work for awhile and lonely and don’t even know where to begin to rebuild my life. I’ve tried finding my “passion” and thought maybe that would be where to start. But I cant get out bed or brush my teeth. And every time I try to think of doing something positive, I just feel a giant sense of overwhelm and a billion different thoughts that keep me stuck and not making it forward. I feel like I need a taser or somebody to come punch me in the face. Something that will shake me out of it. Its like I can be so thirsty and the water right next to me and im telling my arm to reach for it, but my arm aint moving. The thoughts are almost like a defense mechanism, keeping me stuck under this giant rock. Even when i can break the stuckness and move the rock a little bit it lasts for maybe an hour or a few hours or maybe a day. And im constantly fighting to keep the rock off my head with one hand and build strength with the other hand so maybe i can eventually have the strength to move the rock away all together. But my arm just gives out eventually and the rock solidifies back into its original place and I’m back to square one. Its like the rock is magnetic and it doesnt matter for how long i can keep it open and away, it will shoot back to its place within seconds. Im also curious if because this has been going on for so many years that its almost like trauma. That was mentioned to me once, but I think its BS and a disservice to people who have really suffered from trauma. I’ve had a pretty cushy life so to speak. Just ranting I suppose.