My OCD is bad enough ob its own but holy cow when i start a relationship i go off the rails. Im so afraid of not being completely understood or of anandonment or someone elses thoughts about me. I havent dated ina while and then i meet this guy i really trust and feel safe with. Long story short he knows i have ocd and trauma, he was really busy for a week and i asked him to just check in on weather id hear from him that day then after multiple days of nothing I did my usual send 25 paragraphs at night justifying exactly why i feel what etc. We finally talked he said hed absolutely check in and did not again. I again called lots texted lots and all and his message to me after was very condescending and rude. He knows about ocd and seemed before to understand. Were all allowed to be overwhelemd and not act perfectly. But this was all so hurtful circumstances considered. Anyways i sent him TONS more messages that is a lot but all very clear and organized about how it made me feel. I know this is not good its so overwhelming and i cant expect him to handle it. Now hes not even looking at my messages. Amd despite the number they are actually all very important in terms of content judt lots of repition and justifying and hyper explaing as to avoid any possible misunderstandings. And I loose heart and feel like just saying no no its ALL my fault its my ocd and ptsd. Then my old habit would be self sabatoge and saying ya i guess im just too hard to date. But also he was condescending and ignorant etc. Blah ya im spinning bad not hearing from him. Cumpulsions in full effect. Not sure how to handle it im trying to give him space but this is an obssesion / compulsion that effects me more then any other one. I cant just not do it Also this relationship is not even fully formed yet. Hes moving to my city next week we met online and talked for hours on the phone everyday for weeks then ya boom he dissapears and i get hes busy but how hard is it to just say hey i cant talk tonight have a good day! Anyways i just dont know what erp to go about or how to know weather something is just my ocd making it bigger then it is or if i trueky should be hurt.