ROCD.

Currently trying to move on from my past relationship. My OCD killed it because I was always seeking reassurance, and now I have a potential guy I'm meeting tomorrow who seems to have gone through similar experiences. It's almost terrifying how much we have in common and it's making me spiral "Could he be 'The One?' What if he doesn't like me? Is this a message from God?" Blah blah blah..... I feel I'm always trying to have the "perfect" relationship. I suppose I need to relinquish that this isn't possible... My ROCD is tricky because I question if I'm good enough- not the relationship itself.

Username: mmartinammartina

Date posted: 2y ago

Hey, I feel your struggle a lot. I want to recommend you a book that really helped me, it’s called “Relationship OCD” by Sheva Rajaee (she also has an Instagram account @theshrinkwrap). It addresses the “myth of The One” and all the work it does under the surface that is not really beneficial for us. Plus she went through ROCD herself so the book makes you feel really understood and seen. It also works on the belief on not being good enough and the guilt and shame that come from it/that it causes. Also, it’s written by a therapist and therapist-recommended. I hope it helps☺️

Username: anicaanica

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you!

Username: anicaanica

Date posted: 2y ago

When I started my healing journey, from ocd, I found extremely useful asking myself: are my expecation for the right one possible?

Username: YoudontknowmeYoudontknowme

Date posted: 2y ago

All you guys are so beautifully helpful thanks! 🫂

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m always thinking that I’m not enough after a slight inconvenience or action my husband may do that triggers my anxiety and makes my self esteem plummet but I try and convince my self that I am enough with memories of when he showed me love, affection and kindness and it helps, we tend to forget about the good things the little things and that relationships have ups and downs and ugly times

Username: anicaanica

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes. Remember that: there isn't a perfect one. Is a mith created by film, social media and TV. All thoose things gave you expectations for your relationship. Expectations that no one can follow, because they impossibile. For example, i thought that with the right one; I should always feel great/good/sparkly. ( it is absolutely normal to have bad moments!!!) So if one time I go out with my bf, and maby i feel annoyed, he couldn't be the one! Do you see how impossibile and inhuman are thoose standards? In a healthy relationship is absolutely normal to feel bad, sad, annoyed, nothing or even jealous sometimes. Like you would do when you are alone!

Username: caseydilla

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 50w ago

ROCD/SO-OCD combined

I have had bits of OCD and anxiety as long as I can remember but never in this way. I am in a 3+ year relationship with my now fiance. About 8-9 months ago I started heavily doubting our relationship.. doubting his love for and intentions with me and that we'd inevitably split up. That turned into me questioning my love for him. Questioning if my amount of sexual desire was "normal", if it's "normal" to find other men attractive if youre with the "right" one and that would go in and on. Then came the SO-OCD. These worries, fears, and doubts made me questioning EVER bit of my sexuality and that being the reason why I've felt a lack of contentment in my very healthy, stable, consistent relationship. I feel as though this is my body going full on protector mode!! I've had my share of trauma growing up and in adult relationships that have left me with tons of relational wounds and then pile on a lifetime of fantasizing about what it would be like to find "the one" (thanks Hollywood and social media lol). All of this to wonder if anyone can relate to all of this and how you've been working through layered traumas and OCD

Username: 12sopapia

Date posted: 47w ago

Relationship ocd

In my past relationship that lasted for years, I so many obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts that I listened to like “you don’t really love him. You’re just pretending”. I told him when I would have these thoughts and I could tell that this was not helping our relationship when I would tell him, but the compulsions felt better when I did it. We eventually broke up, and even though he swore it was not because of my ocd, I can’t help but think that I scared him. Flash forward two years and I’ve met this other man. I am worried that my intrusive thoughts about relationship worries will get the best of me and I will end things before they even get good. I think I am more prepared for this time but I’m still worried. I wish I could just stay in the moment and not catastrophic everything.

Username: HopeM365

Date posted: 34w ago

Hello 👋🏻

My psychiatrist hasn’t officially diagnosed me yet, but mentioned that I could have OCD (suicidal OCD). The more I look into it, the more I relate to Relationship OCD. As I look back at my old journal, I feel like I can totally see the possibility of me having relationship OCD. I’m curious if these count as obsessions: 1. Fear that the relationship was going to end (it did) 2. Fear that I was going to say or do something to make him stop loving me 3. Fear I made him an idol in my life (Scrupulosity OCD) The relationship caused me so much distress. I could not stop worrying about the relationship all the time and couldn’t think about schoolwork or anything else. Do these count as compulsions: 1. Constantly having conversations with him & others about the relationship 2. Constantly praying & journaling about the relationship I meet with a psychiatrist tomorrow for an ADHD assessment but I’m so interested in learning about all this stuff & figuring it out… which I read could be a compulsion. Would appreciate any comments!

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