Feel like Im more conscious of the world and myself after ocd, it feels like for me before ocd I never questioned anything, sexuality, gender being at the core of it, like my opinions and identity was shaped by culture and other people and i didnt have my own identity, even my attraction to women. Like i never cared or bothered to understand things before or that I was not a normal human before ocd but now Im "normal" and realizing that im not who I projected/percieved myself as. I believe it is true to some degree but I dont know if thats ocd talking or if it actually is true, makes it impossible in my head to figure out what is real and not. Im a billingual so theres 2 langauges playing inside which makes it so much more confusing, its a hot mess in my head feel like Im starting life all over again. Im afraid this will drive me to insanity. Sorry, i know its incoherent, its just really difficult to put into words.