Sex ocd
I overthink during sex and I can’t tell if its ocd or im gay. Im getting married and im so scared..what if i cannot satisfy her? What if i find out im gay?? Im horrified
These types of things may seem so scary. I recommend accepting what it is that you’re going through. Not necessarily agreeing with the thoughts, but recognizing that they’re there. OCD is known as the doubting disorder. The first time I had SO-OCD was when I was 21; I was dating a girl and I had ROCD which lead into the SO-OCD. We broke up, my attraction to women came back even stronger. That success lasted for about 6 years. I’m 29 now, I have a girlfriend I love, now it’s happening again. I had ROCD with her for a year, now it transformed into SO-OCD. The best way to beat this, is to surrender to it.
Hi! I understand, I’m going through the same thing. You’re over attending to what you’re feeling right now. Also, keep in mind, no one, with any certainty, understands their sexuality 100%. Anyone, at any time, can fall in love with someone of the same gender at any given moment. Try your best to not overthink. I am going through the same exact thing. Intimacy is built upon way more than sex. Sex is 90% of a bad relationship, 10% of a great one.
I know what you’re going through. I got married in October and was having the same thoughts. It’s like not only do you feel bad about the OCD and the thoughts but you feel so guilty for having those thoughts during that time. My biggest fear is waking up one day and realizing that I was gay my whole life and then having to leave my husband. When I told my therapist about it she said your OCD will attack your core values and I found some solace in that because it just shows one of my core values is being loyal to my relationship. I know it’s so hard, but if it’s giving you the most intense anxiety you’ve ever felt in your life and it’s all you think and ruminate about, it’s probably just OCD. Unfortunately, you have to retrain your brain to not react to those thoughts and accept uncertainty. My husband knows all about my SO-OCD and he loves me regardless. We got married and it was the best day of my life!!
Thanks. I am so sad about this and knowing im not alone makes me feel better
So just hang in there, try to get some help, and things will slow down
You'll be OK. Try to sit with the thoughts and anxiety and you'll de-sensitize over time. Do exposure therapy exercises and you'll improve. Remember to treat thoughts like this that come at the most inappropriate time and that cause you as anxiety as OCD thoughts from the get go. Keep them in context. Good luck.
Hi All, I (22F) have been suffering from HOCD for the past three months. I am engaged to the man I want to be with. However, I can't kick OCD. I was recently aroused when looking at a model in lingerie. The lingerie was objectively sexy and I briefly thought about how she was posing for a man with her breasts out. Likewise, I thought about how sexy it would be if I wore that. But, now I'm terrified. If I can get these responses from the female body-not the male body-that must surely mean something. Likewise, I have trouble orgasming during sex and I don't always love making out. But, I really don't think I'm a lesbian? Long story short, I need help getting over this. I'm in college and I can barely study. All I do is worry. I can't even enjoy my engagement at this rate because I'm convinced I'm in denial. This sexual arousal gives me incredible amounts of anxiety, especially considering I have been turned on by stuff like this in the past. If anyone has any helpful words, please let me know. I am not seeking reassurance, but I felt this backstory was necessary to explain why this fear has been so potent. There may be some real attraction here, which terrifies me. I don't know what to do. I want to enjoy life and improve sex with my fiance but I'm feeling hopeless. If anyone has any words of advice, it would be deeply appreciated.
After having a peaceful couple weeks, I'm panicked and on edge. I'm getting married in a few weeks and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I feel like I *NEED* to know my sexuality. My current therapist doesn't think I have OCD, only that I have an attachment wound that needs healing. I don't really have parents anymore and only some of my family are attending the wedding. I suspect I have SO-OCD, because of the desperate need to know if I'm bisexual or secretly a lesbian. Ever since spiraling again, *every* thought goes back to questioning my sexuality, or the sexuality of others. I even get triggered by seeing hugging sisters. Before I thought I had SO-OCD, I was desperately trying to figure out if my partner was "the one". Now that I'm engaged the theme has changed and now I need to figure out my sexuality. I'm not looking for reassurance but I guess posting here gives some kind of relief. What can someone do in my situation? I feel like there's a timer to everything and I need to know ASAP. I don't want to start ERP right now. Can NOCD still help without doing ERP? Thank you, thank you x
Hi! I am genuinely so happy and attracted to my boyfriend but cannot stop having extreme anxiety trying to figure out my sexuality. Some days I think I am sexually attracted to women and other days I don’t feel this way. How can I accept the uncertainty? Another part of this OCD is I obsess over what the queer community will think of me since I have limited experiences with women. I am so happy with my partner but the OCD is keeping me in fear of missing out. I keep constantly comparing myself to others and getting down that they have had more sexual partners. Seeing if I’m alone in this.
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