- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I did - it was a combination of behaviors and being in a situation that I should of not been, I was stressed trying to fix a relationship, I was asking for reassurance and reassurance- I drove my partner mad, was it entirely my part- NO - contex: my ex partner had just come out of rehab for meth addiction and both of us going thru a mental illness was not healthy for both of us, how could I expect love- I was testing the boundaries, I wasn’t allowed to grieve and he dumped me and I had to reassure myself and chased him. He pushed me away then ran away from me when I confronted him- we didn’t have closure but I had lost myself / that is why I’m here and have a meeting, learning to recognize that you let yourself go helped me realize I’m still a alive - it’s happend - I can’t fix it, he did not understand my ocd and shouldn’t until he starts to recover from his meth addiction but I hope in the future we can reconcile and apologize for the damage and trauma we caused each other becuase of our mental illness
- Date posted
- 3y
Me I’m breaking up now I feel too guilty
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes over a year ago! He is engaged now and I’m happy for him. Looking back I didn’t really like him or think we fit well together, but my rocd just attached to the relationship because I put high value on finding someone to marry. So if I had thoughts of not liking him, my rocd would say no you actually love him, you’re crazy etc😂 or if I liked him then it would be like “break up!!!” And eventually I did. It’s impossible to see if you actually like someone when you are in an rocd episode, so my best advice is to go through treatment so you can actually know how you feel, which means accepting that you might like this person and you might not and being okay with either outcome. You won’t be able to know until you face either fear and get help.
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s funny my ROCD episode happend after things went wrong in our relationship- I know I still care for him but waiting for therapy - there are sometimes I expect a call - but I detached - it’s hard work but there no hard feelings after a week
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve broken up with the same person 6-7 times. Now we are together. I still struggle but I’m working on it
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I’m having what I think is my first ROCD full episode. I’ve had doubting thoughts the entirety of my relationship. But in the last couple of days have been overwhelmed with and debilitated by anxiety and the feeling that I need to break up with my boyfriend. I don’t know if I have OCD officially but talking to therapists it seems that it is likely and I’m going to an OCD specialist next week to talk through my feelings but I feel completely helpless and hopeless at the moment and riddled with anxiety. I’m in a long distance relationship. I seem to have a waves throughout the day when I want to communicate with my boyfriend and tell him I love him etc. but the other 80% of my day is filled with anxiety and dread that I’m going to have to break up with him. I just want the anxiety to go away and to know if my thoughts are real thoughts or OCD thoughts. My biggest fear is that this isn’t an OCD episode and I do need to break up with him. I’m seeing him this weekend and I’m filled with dread about feeling disconnected and anxious and not in love.
- Date posted
- 23w
Please help. Been with my boyfriend for 15 months. 6 months into our official relationship I found out he kissed someone 1 week before he asked out officially. He told me he loved me at that time and I felt we were exclusive. He apparently did not . He also agreed he would not watch porn and lied once about it. I also have been spinning about the types of women he thinks are attractive and I find disgusting so I sent him pictures for months hoping he would say it looks gross but he didn’t and it killed me. Throughout the relationship I have been spinning about these issues really hard and it damaged my trust for him but I know he’s an amazing great guy I just feel very uneasy. It has been 1 year of me spinning about these issues and other little ones constantly texting him everyday and my friends about them to try to figure things out but I am unhappy . 4 months ago I had a severe breakdown and since I am severely depressed and anxious every day all day with thoughts of is this a wrong relationship , comparing him to other men, wondering if I would be happier with someone else. I have been seeing a therapist seeing a therapist one thinks I have rocd and a psychologist doesn’t . Nothing is helping me and I’m on Zoloft . I broke up with him a month ago and I’m still spinning in circles if I made the right decision or if I left over rocd and overblowing the issues that bothered me . Someone please tell me if you think this is rocd (edited)
- Date posted
- 15w
Hi everyone — just reaching out for a bit of support, perspective, and maybe some guidance. I was in a relationship with someone who had untreated ROCD, and I’m trying to process it all now that we’re apart. I’ve written my experience below, not to vent, but to better understand what happened and how to handle it with compassion (for both of us). I was in a relationship with someone who struggled deeply with OCD and ROCD, though they weren’t in treatment at the time. From the outside, things looked fine. But behind closed doors, I witnessed spirals, dissociation, identity shifts, panic, and emotional instability that few people ever saw. We both knew about the disorder. It wasn’t hidden. They even spoke about ROCD through awareness posts online. We knew what it was — we named it together — but knowing wasn’t enough to stop it. And unfortunately, the people around them didn’t fully understand OCD, ROCD, or just how powerful and persuasive this disorder can be. There was real love between us. Deep, honest, complicated love. And a connection that existed long before we ever became a couple — a connection I still believe in. But fear and doubt — the kind only OCD can generate — made everything feel unsafe. The anxiety got so loud that eventually, breaking up felt like the only option. Despite OCD or not, I’ve respected their decision and given them the space I know they needed and were entitled to. They shared a lot with me — things I won’t repeat here, because they’re theirs. But they were raw. Honest. Human. I was the one who sat through the “I don’t know” spirals. The doubts over feelings, attraction, and more. I was their rock — the one who understood. And they told me that, more than once. Now I’m sitting in the quiet. I’m seeing the avoidance play out: the nights out, the thriving energy, maybe even someone new. It’s hard — hard to witness such a visible shift in someone I was once so close to. But I’ve also seen the cracks. The internal conflict starting to show again. I know how this pattern works. I’ve lived it, too. The relief never lasts forever. Eventually, when it fades, the absence lingers longer. And when it does, OCD doesn’t stay silent for long — it latches onto the very things you tried to run from and reshapes itself. I know that if I reach out too soon — or say the wrong thing at the wrong time — I might push them even deeper into avoidance. Deeper into the version of themselves for now. So I’m careful. That’s why even this post is written with thought. Because I care. I really care. And in the meantime, I’m working on myself — even if part of me still wants to fight for something that felt real. But I also know I can’t fight alone. I’m not shutting the door — just stepping into another room for now. A room where I can grow and heal. But the door is still open. I’d appreciate any guidance or advice on how to approach this in the kindest, most thoughtful way — with as little hurt for either of us as possible. Thank you all so much and I wish all of you are keeping well. Lots of love ❤️
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