I’m trying not to self harm again, I’ve been obsessing over cheating for 7 months . I will look back at everything I’ve done that I can remember and obsess. And will ask my bf if it’s cheating. Like asking if virtual games were cheating and trolling people . I’ve spent a lot of time online since I haven’t left the house in a year. Someone help
i have had this so much it’s crazy!!! like if i look at a guy or something and like pose because i am insecure i will tak to my boyfriend and ask if that was cheating. people who cheat have an actual intention they don’t really care as much, and maybe will feal really guilty after. it goes away just know this is ocd this is not you, your mind will try and plant stories in your mind because it will just feed into ocd. ocd is like a monster it kinda tricks you but if you are feeling guilty or bad just know that what your ocd wants. you ocd is like a lier, it will lie to you, just know that when you get anxious about something just remind yourself, it is not you!!! it is your ocd monster, you are not a bad person, cheating is literally dilebertaly hooking up with simone else kissing someone else, with and intention of doing so. those were not your intentions they are your ocd! you have got this let me know if you want to talk more:)
also try and be easier on yourself, you are a human, and ocd can be rlly hard because it does whatever it can to try ajd ruin your relationship and make you uncomfortable. ocd clings to anything that goes against your moral compass. if you have an obsession about a worry in the past ocd wil turn the story around and make it a lot worse then what it acraully is. be easy on yourself. telling your boyfriend about this is kinda like a compulsion? correct me if i’m wrong. try to be easy on yourself you are feeling bad because you are a good person, just know that.
I’ve obsessed about pregnancy, my heart rate, and other things and my theme changed to this. Yeah confessing isn’t good but I haven’t learned to deal with the overwhelming sensation so it results to me self harming. The cheating one just breaks my heart cuz my bf is nothing but good to me. I’ve cut off a male friend and every game I’ve played . I only talk to females now and even with that I get intrusive thoughts that I like them etc. and I’m very impulsive person so I worry about acting out on things and not remembering. And the things I’ve actually done I will obsess about for decades. And feel awful . I’m sure you know how it is. Thank you for responding .
I also want to state I have screenshots and notes like many like over a hundred of texts, game messages, articles about cheating, my friends saying I’m good, like you name it everything I put out there I save. So I have Clarity.
yes i totally understand i will obsess about things until i have something new to obsess about. Try this, instead of a voiding your life like games and talking to guys take it a step at a time. let your boyfriend know when your gunna play a game let him know your fears talking to guys be open ajd honest. then try ajd play some games after you let him know what your fears are so he already knows the conversation to come after if you feel you did something wrong. it will lesson the anxiety around the conversation. the worst has already come your anxiety is still there even when you don’t do the things you want like stop talking to your guy friend , playing games. So just try ajd expose yourself to that anxiety. know you may not be ready for that but just keep an open mind. when you find yourself fixating in something u said or did that may think you are being unfaithful just know it’s the ocd talking not you so it just doesn’t count. try to be friends with your guy friend again and let him know your worries get that awkward conversation out of the way, if you trust him or don’t. hang out with your guy friend with your boyfriend if that’s a little easier, or with a group of ppl. please don’t hurt yourself please, you don’t deserve it at all. like at all you deserve to be happy you deserve to have male friends, you deserve to play games because you are not a bad person you are algonkin through a hard time and letting ocd rule your life. if you give ocd that much power over you it will be harder to overcome. trust me!!!!!! let me know if you need anything
I was curious if u had any other social media so I can chat with you. You don’t have to share obviously if you’re uncomfortable my username is emilyymaturo. I’m obsessing about a virtual game I played . And I would love to know your expirneces too if u don’t mind. Sorry it took a bit for a response . I found what you said to be helpful . Disregard this if you’re u comfy I’m 21 female btw .
okay i just dm you:)
yes let’s talk for sure sorry for taking to long to respond!!!! my name is shiah:) my instagram is shiahholmes add me!!!
i think i added u on instagram? if i am correct?
Followed back!
Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭
So I’m 22 and have had ocd my entire life. I’m about to hit 1 year in my relationship. I’m extremely happy and haven’t really had any rocd problems. Which is great. So here’s the problem. About 4-5 months into my new relationship I was bored one night and couldn’t sleep. I must’ve doom scrolled TikTok and Reddit for hours that night. Until finally I randomly thought about going on an anonymous chat site. I use to do this all the time back during covid when I was stuck in the house So for what ever reason I made a fake girl name and instantly connected to some random dude. I thought it was funny and decided to troll alittle cause why not I guess I just wanted to pass the time. He asked me where i worked and I said a bar (obv I don’t ) and he said “wow u must get hit on a lot u must be hot” and said yeah i do and then I felt really weird about it. So I closed the site down. Fast forward to now I felt like I cheated on my gf by flirting with another guy. Even tho I don’t like guys. It was months ago so I can’t rmeebr exactly how the text went but it was along those words and the convo had to been less then 3 minutes. Now since then all I can think is maybe I wanted the texts to go further. Or what if I said something sexual? What if I liked it sexually? On top of that, it was just a really weird one off thing I did. I mean I have no idea why I pretended to be a hot girl working at a bar lol. I guess I was just trolling or curious idk. Either way it would be really hard to explain to my gf and I don’t really want to tell her. Butttt , since I feel like I cheated I feel awful like I’m horrible person. These last 4 days I keep reading reddit post about ppl cheating on chat rooms and I keep googling to see if I should tell my gf or not. I understand sitting with uncertainty but I need to know desperately if I did something wrong bc my gf deserves to know. But like I said if I told her what happened it such a weird situation that she may think something serious happened. Also I dealt with a porn addiction at the time and I’ve gotten a lot better. So far I’ve been 3 days clean of watching porn and don’t even have the need too. How ever I think the real reason why I feel like I cheated was my intentions altho I went on just joking around I feel like I was on there for something sexual. Which I’m glad I never shared any personal things , pictures or anything graphic and the convo was less then 3 minutes long based off a fake character
So I have been struggling with the same theme of ocd for 4 months now. My ocd centers around past events/false memories that ocd skews to make seem bad or it twists my thoughts on what my intentions were. this is related to cheating or being weird while I have been in my amazing relationship. I have never cheated on my partner and never will and I believe it is wrong. But my ocd is telling me other wise. I love my partner so very much and I would never want to hurt him but my brain is getting to me. I was getting better. I was trying “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t”, I have been back on meds and in therapy and I stopped confessing random interactions from years/months ago about 1.5 weeks ago and it really helped. But now I woke up this morning and feel the pit in my stomach again. I feel extra critical and like why would you do this? What does this say about you? What was your intention with this? And I’m just stuck mentally reviewing and ruminating on everything you could imagine. I know my personality and I know in the moment maybe I did find them attractive but mainly I was just being nice or funny or even just a good friend, but looking back now I’m like “was it flirting?” “Why did I still snap this person” “why would I even talk to them” and stuff like that. I feel this intense sense of guilt. I have told my partner everything that I keep getting stuck on and he didn’t care, he said he understands or “that’s a little weird but it’s okay” and hasn’t missed a beat. He said eveything I’ve told him is normal and I’ve heard that from my friends too. I just really need help. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so disappointed because I thought I was gonna be done with this, so why am I still so worried and caught up in this.
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