Please I need to know if I am not going insane

Have you ever had an intrusive thought telling you along with an intrusive urge to do something u don’t want to and disturbing? I ignored and had a worst intrusive urge but obviously calmed self but during me ignoring the thought and urge my mind was like just pure fighting and now am stressed if I did something horrible but I don’t want to victimize myself? I was watching the little mermaid when I got it and I was very interested in it and my memory i promise I swear that die I denied doing it, I don’t wanna die but I know did not do it. Beacuse I said no, is my mind playing tricks on me? It’s stressing Beacuse I would never want to do that and I am scared if ever do it Beacuse what if do ? I will never do it but what if I do? This isn’t me and am scared of what kind of the person am turning. I just wish I wasn’t mentally I’ll like this. Like what if I did, what if I did