- Date posted
- 3y
Something I’ve learned
I think I just wanted to give everyone a warning that there are some people you just cannot go to for advice because they will not fully understand your situation and you WILL become more triggered also you’re likely seeking reassurance. Trigger warning!!!! Bad advice from people in my life!!! I’ve had a sister tell me that I need to date women in response to me explaining my hocd (thought it was going to feel good to get off my chest i was so wrong). I PANICKED. told her that her response made me feel worse and she continued to tell me that it sounds like I’m a lesbian and need to experiment. SHE THEN TOLD MY MOM ABOUT IT. And I think when you go through something where you’re having a hard time trusting yourself and always seeking answers, having family members tell you that all your fears are coming true is a really difficult thing to go through and just adds to the cycle. Try your best to save it for a therapist, or someone you know who understands, if you can’t sit with it and accept the thoughts/anxiety. I have a friend who I went to for advice for something not related to my relationship anxiety. It was more sexual assault and hocd related. She is in a healthy relationship with a man who just exceeds all expectations. Not every man can be perfect, and you know, maybe he’s like actually not great and we don’t know. IDK. BUT she has a very DUMP HIS ASS mentality when it comes to men and if they aren’t checking all of these boxes then they aren’t good enough. She turned everything I was saying to her about my sexual assault and my hocd to be all about my boyfriend. She started asking me questions hinting that she didn’t think he was good enough. I GOT DEFENSIVE and then she told me that I was getting too defensive and not holding him accountable at all. What she doesn’t know is that I’m holding him accountable in my head all damn day to a fault. And her trying to help me made me trust myself less!!! My boyfriend was my favorite person and I valued his opinion more than anyone else’s. The fact that I was letting her opinion speak so loudly that it felt like fact really just shows me how damaging it is to put yourself in a position where you let others invalidate all of your thoughts/feelings/experiences. My point is, you know who those people are. Often times going to someone for these things will lead to more chaos, plus it’s a compulsion. Sit with your discomfort and do everything in your power not to reach out to someone. If you can’t help it, tell your pillow pet or your cat or watch a john green video so that you don’t feel so alone in having ocd, or come here. These are just my own personal examples but I hope this helps. I know it looks different for everyone and if you have a good support system who knows how to respond, I’m so so happy for you.