advice from anyone with POCD?

Hey guys I was wondering if I could get any advice, specifically from people who deal with an intrusive urge/intrusive thoughts that they want to m*sterbate to their thoughts (I never have before fyi, I never would) because sometimes it like over takes me and I feel all flushed and bothered and it’s really gross and scary. Just wondering how people who have these kind of thoughts deal with them without doing compulsions? Thank you

Flyandteach

Date posted: 3y

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Chimpy

Date posted: 3y

I used to deal with it by simply masturbating to pornography. It eventually worried me because I noticed that in if itself was a compulsion and I, by accident, was training my body and mind to know “oh POCD kicking in? That means I’m gonna reward myself with this dose of dopamine!” Which started to make things way, way worse. I honestly already had an unhealthy online porn habit way before my POCD struggle so this was a dangerous mix lmaoo. Overall what I’m currently doing is trying to take long breaks between “those moments”, like 7 days or eventually more. It eventually manages to kinda help me focus on other things. Though I have cruddy moments of my dopamine withdrawal mixing with POCD and creating a really bad dread.

aquarius_grl🤍

Date posted: 3y

Interesting, I didn’t think about how I could be rewarding the thoughts without knowing it by having sex or watching porn to get rid of the thoughts! That makes a lot of sense now why it’s gotten worse cuz I dealt with it that way! Thank you for the advice and btw it means a lot that I’m not the only one that deals with this, I’ve felt that it couldn’t be POCD if I felt this way at times

aquarius_grl🤍

Date posted: 3y

So do you think when I’m having one of these moments I should just not do anything about it and sit with it? Cuz sometimes it’s unbearable, but if that’s what will be best then I’ll do it

Chimpy

Date posted: 3y

@_anonymous_075 That’s what I’ve been doing but I recommend trying to keep yourself busy with something. I like to write/read so that’s one way but if that doesn’t help I just switch to YouTube and look up stuff to dive into like rabbit hole topics or whatever I’m feeling. Anything to stop myself from feeling the desire/dread. It slowly can, I think, separate the action from the thought. It’s not like you’ll never watch porn or enjoy sex again, just try to distance the space between both the POCD and other stuff.

aquarius_grl🤍

Date posted: 3y

@Chimpy Yeah that’s what I do, I like to play on my switch or watch YouTube or something like that. Also, I saw you said something about desire which I’ve heard a ton isn’t associated with POCD which is what makes me doubt myself the most because of the feelings that I have that accompany the intrusive thoughts. I was wondering what personally keeps you going on the recovery path like what gives you hope? Also, I was wondering if you have any knowledge about how we feel can still be POCD? Definitely not reassurance because I’m just curious because I haven’t seen that anywhere. Sorry for bombarding you with questions lol

Chimpy

Date posted: 3y

@_anonymous_075 Hey sorry for the late reply! I try really hard not to go on the app too much because I don’t want to form a compulsion to it. Anyway to clarify, that desire I mentioned was in regard to my habit of going to “”regular”” porn to try and clear myself of the intrusive POCD thoughts. Like I said however I found that I was starting to link the two experiences together. So when I started having intrusive POCD, my compulsion was becoming porn viewing, which tended to come with excitement beforehand. Obviously feeling that excitement while trying to shake those thoughts out were terrifying me but I figured out that’s all it was. My compulsion readying itself to happen and my mind hungry for the dopamine rush masturbating naturally gives you. As for what gives me hope, it’s just having days where I can go hours realizing “oh wow I haven’t thought of my POCD yet!” and while that used to act as the wave that crashed through the dam of my insecurity, now it’s basically a wave of doubt beating against it. Which is to say, I feel fine even when I realize this was usually the part where I wouldn’t. My triggers were starting to lose their strength. As for your second question, it’s best NOT to think of POCD as something that can “still just be POCD” or something with a time limit. The best way to take the strength from something in your mind I’ve learned is to just remove it’s important from your life. That isn’t easy and without professional help or medication, even harder BUT I don’t have those options because of money reasons so I’m doing my best with what I have.

aquarius_grl🤍

Date posted: 3y

@Chimpy Hey no worries! And thanks for clearing that up but it also worries me because that’s not exactly what I feel like I experience because it hasn’t been like a consistent compulsion to go to porn so I don’t really relate to how the excitement is connected that way necessarily like it really seems like I have a want to act on these thoughts sometimes and especially when I get a sex drive it makes it so much worse and I’m just so scared that it’s real and not what anyone else with pocd experiences and like I’d never act on these thoughts ever I know that not in a million years so that’s the only thing that keeps me going but like that’s it . 😣

aquarius_grl🤍

Date posted: 3y

@_anonymous_075 Also why I know these thoughts and feelings are intrusive is because I’m not causing them to be in my brain like they are coming in unwelcome I always want them to be gone. Isn’t that what makes thoughts intrusive??

SunnyAnon

Date posted: 23w

dealing with OCD flashbacks 18+

i currently am getting over my period and have been having a horrible flashbacks from some real events. it’s a amalgamation of all of the horrible things i did as a child/young teenager. all of it associated with p0rnography + sexual activities i did. i was exposed to sexual activity very young and it lead me down a dark path. i’ve had OCD forever it seems. it’s hard because i can see that i’ve had OCD symptoms since childhood but i constantly doubt wether or not my actions where because of OCD or something i genuinely wanted/was attracted to. i can’t seem to differentiate the two and it’s scaring me. i’m worried i was genuinely into the kind of stuff and it’s constantly flashing in my mind the last two days of things i compulsively did years ago. to be absolutely clear it has been years since i’ve even thought about those taboo things or saw anything of that sort. i’m talking 5 or 6 years give or take. it still feels like yesterday. in recent years i’ve completely pulled away from p0rn and now find it and s3x a lot less appealing. but every so often i get these intense flashbacks on things i did or saw or thought and it puts everything on hold. everything im interested in gets but on the back burner in fear of my intrusive thoughts being thrown into the mix. currently experiencing that now. im mortified of ruining everything i love because of these stupid thoughts. does anyone have any advice or experience with this specifically and have any tips???

grellen2000

Date posted: 21w

Intrusive thoughts (21+ please)

I need advice for intrusive thoughts. I used to feel like I could handle them. They weren’t nearly as bad as the things that related to my actual life. But now, I’m suffering. I haven’t had a sexual experience in over a year that didn’t involve constant intrusive thoughts. Most are somehow related to kids and I keep chasing off the thoughts but it’s so bad. I know you’re supposed to ignore them but I don’t know how I can just ignore that and continue what I’m doing. But they’re coming on stronger. I had one earlier I could not get rid of just as things finished so the thought came on strongly just before my orgasm hit and now I feel absolutely disgusting. I hated the thought and I know it’s not me and it was not enjoyable but it still feels like I was getting off to it. I feel sick. I’m so fucking tired of these thoughts. They’re in my every day life too and it’s all the time. I just want it to stop but ignoring it feels so wrong. What should I do?

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 21w

Help

I deal pretty heavily with this. The last couple days, I’ve had what I think are urges. Something pops into my head intrusively and then what stems from that is me WANTING to just indulge in it even though it’s gross. I get worried bc I used to struggle w thoughts about my dad for a long time until eventually I just purposely thought of him while self pleasuring and got off to it. While that’s something I did, it is NOT me. It all stemmed from my mental health declining a couple years back, I was never this way before. So I get worried that it almost happened or might happen with my pocd cuz I could never live with myself if it did.

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