idk if this makes sense, but i also have dpdr and existential thoughts. like i fear the fact we live on a rock, that were ina solar system, how we got here, that we breathe air, etc but am i only “fearing” this stuff because my anxiety is clearly very high? i think having dpdr makes the existential thoughts alot worse but im always anxious about existence and it sucks like im afraid of everything.

I recently posted about my experience with Existential OCD (https://app.treatmyocd.com/community/posts/2184668), and one of the most common questions I got was how to deal with DPDR (depersonalization and derealization), as it often goes hand-in-hand with existential obsessions. I wanted to create this post to summarize my thoughts and understanding of DPDR, so I have something to point people towards. For context, I'm not a trained mental health professional, doctor, or neuroscientist. I'm just someone who has been through the gambit with OCD, and has learned about the mind through conversations with several therapists, reading books, and watching videos. I also regularly consult with a few Buddhist teachers, and have been practicing meditation for several years. Please keep all of this in mind, and take everything I say with a grain of salt. First, some quick terminology: Depersonalization = a feeling of "detachment" from your own body, almost as if you're living life as an autonomous robot. Derealization = a feeling of "detachment" from the outside world, where people, places, and things feel distant or alien. They often go hand-in-hand, and mainly differ in terms of what feels "unreal" (yourself, or the outside world). It's easy to see how this can coincide with obsessive existential thoughts. After all, when things feel unreal, how can you help but think about the big questions of existence? So these feelings often make those with OCD extremely uncomfortable, and the desire to make it "go away" inevitably arises. But, just like with anxiety, most attempts to "get rid" of it generally make it worse. Even grounding exercises can become problematic if the goal of those exercises is to get rid of DPDR, just like any other compulsion. That's why my first piece of advice is always to acknowledge and accept the feeling. One way to get comfortable accepting any feeling is to understand where it comes from. As of today, the exact neurobiological workings of DPDR aren't fully understood, but one thing seems to be pretty clear: DPDR is the result of the brain momentarily shifting gears to protect itself from overwhelm. It's something that happens when you are stressed, and/or burnt out. It's the brain protecting itself from overstimulation, similar to a circuit breaker closing down parts of an electrical circuit to prevent overloading. It's important not to take this information as reassurance against the existential intrusive thoughts that arise during DPDR, rather simply as an explanation as to what is happening in the present moment. I'm a big proponent of using "maybe, maybe not" responses to intrusive thoughts. So in the case of DPDR, you may considering responding to the existential thoughts with: "Maybe that's true, maybe it isn't. Right now, this brain is overwhelmed, and it is protecting itself." (Side note: the use of "this brain" instead of "my brain" is a habit I've picked up from Buddhist philosophy. It's a way of practicing non-attachment to the self. If that doesn't work for you then feel free to phrase it in whatever way makes sense. I also recognize the beautiful irony of bringing up non-attachment in a post about DPDR 😂) Basically, you want to acknowledge the existential thoughts, acknowledge the feeling of DPDR, acknowledge that the DPDR is coming from a place of stress, and then refocus your attention to the present moment. The key is to not refocus your attention in hopes to GET RID of the thoughts or feelings, but to do it DESPITE those things. You need to teach yourself first-hand that none of those things are dangerous, and that you can continue to live life while scary thoughts exist in the mind, and while you feel uncomfortable things. The more you try to push the DPDR away, or logically dig yourself out of a hole, the more stressed you will become. And since DPDR is a stress response, this will only cause it to stick around longer. It's the same ironic cycle that fuels the intrusive thought / compulsion loop. Sometimes it can last for a few minutes, a few hours, days, weeks, or even months. While DPDR disorder exists, in many cases (especially with OCD), DPDR tends to persist because of our resistance to it. If you find that it just won't go away, try not to get discouraged. Instead, look for the resistance, and consider how you may be able to open up to the experience in a lighter way. If you find yourself resisting, gently remind yourself: "I don’t need to figure this out right now. I can let the brain do its thing and focus on living life." It can also help to recontextualize the DPDR. I like to think of it like a warm blanket or sweater, or the brain taking a nap. You wouldn't want to wake someone up from a nap, would you? Let 'em rest! I hope there is something helpful here for those struggling with this issue. Trust me, I've been there.

the concept of death & existence is ruining my life rn 😭 im losing so much sleep. i try to close my eyes & all my brain wants to do is try to wrap itself around the idea of what not existing feels like & i get this sinking feeling that grows & grows until my eyes snap open & i have to go back on my phone to distract myself until im literally too exhausted to keep my head up & my body forces me to sleep. it makes having the motivation to do anything hard because all i can think is "it wont matter when i die". it sucks because i know that having MORE in my life might actually improve this, im 21 unemployed still living at home with ASD & i know once i have a job that will definitely give me more to focus on & other stresses to have lol, but i feel like im stuck in the endless cycle of "not having a life makes me worried im wasting my life & itll all be over so fast" & then "being so stressed about my life & time passing is exhausting & makes it too hard to find the motivation to do anything other than sit here" & repeat. spirituality is hard because i like thinking that way, like afterlife & shit, but i worry that im just "in denial" & using it as an unhealthy coping mechanism that leads to magical thinking thoughts. then its like i have some sort of meta ocd spiral obsessing over if what im doing is bad & unhealthy for my ocd or not. i LIKE being spiritual but im worrying im hurting myself & doing a compulsion thinking that way. it also doesnt help that religious spaces have hurt & traumatized so many people & im terrified of being apart of a "delusional" community that spreads a false narrative & attacks anyone that doesnt agree with them. i know i am not like that but i worry im still apart of the problem even thinking this way. at the end of the day no one knows the truth, no one knows what happens after death. im just struggling to sit with the uncertainty. it is so late rn idk of any of my words make sense lol

Hey guys so I’m new here and just recently started struggling with some health ocd and thinking I had a brain tumor but it’s taken a turn for the worse and become this existential ocd where I’m questioning quite literally everything in my life, the purpose of being here and stuff. I just started meds yesterday, which is scary for me cause I’ve never been on them before. I keep having thoughts like, why does everything feel like a blur, what’s the meaning of this and I wake up every day with just existential dread. I’ve been having very vivid dreams that make dreaming and reality confusing I also am scared cause I’m dealing with some DP/DR as well. I just wish my life could go back to a few months ago before I knew all of this was possible. I guess I’m just writing this too get it off my chest and see if any of you all have gone through something similar and made it out okay?