Why him?

So my husband told me the other day that all he hears me talk about is OCD and my mom and dad. They are both turning 80, and not in the best of health. I am an only child. They were all I had before I met him 20 years ago. He was always a huge support for me with my OCD. Now I just feel like a huge pain. I can’t talk to him at all about anything because I feel like he really doesn’t want to hear it now. I finally found a therapist that gets me. She’s amazing! And I wanna be able to tell him about my sessions, but I don’t anymore. Im back in my shell again. I don’t wanna talk to anyone… just wanna disappear. This sucks.

dieinaholeoc...

Date posted: 3y ago

Yeah I get upset when people ask why I alsways talk about my OCD. It’s because it’s almost like it controls my life. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Crystal ball

Date posted: 3y ago

I’m sorry you are too. And it does control my life . I’m glad I can talk to people on here. It really helps. Thank you.

.ALY235.

Date posted: 3y ago

I think there could be a way that you balance both talking about your struggles as well as your husband’s too. He feels as though you only talk about your OCD and parents, which might be true, but you in turn feel as though you have to shut him out of that part of your life now. Why not dedicate time either once a week or a few minutes a day as your struggle-talk time, time when he knows that you want to talk about your OCD struggles and parent issues, then after that focus on the two of you instead. It doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing situation when talking about it between you two. You might also realize that he is struggling with something too, but hasn’t had the opportunity to bring it up because he is trying to support you. Might be a good thing to take some time to let him know how you felt when he said that to you, but also offer a solution that fits the both of you. He loves you, otherwise he wouldn’t have confronted you about changing the topic of conversation (he could have just become withdrawn without you knowing it, but instead he saw something he wasn’t comfortable with and suggested a change). I’ve realized that there are some things our therapists will understand better than our partners, which is fine. Our partners didn’t study our particular disorder for years on end, and they don’t know how to help in the way a professional does. It’s not his job to find solutions, it’s just his job to comfort you and support you through this. Likewise, it’s not fair for you to only talk about your problems, when he wants to spend time with you as his friend and wife. Going back into your shell seems like a bit of revenge - like « if he doesn’t want to listen then I won’t tell him anything », kind of thing. But that doesn’t help either if you does it? He’s not asking you to never speak of your struggles and parents again, he might just want balance. Might be a good idea to talk to him about it and find a solution together

Crystal ball

Date posted: 3y ago

Thank you. I do understand what you are saying. I am trying not to be selfish… that is so not who I am. I am so mixed up right now. My brain feels like it is on hyper drive!!! Trying to remember all the things I need to say and do, and when to say and do them. I will try to plan the “ struggle talk time”. I do not want to shut him out. We are best friends. Thanks for the advise.

.ALY235.

Date posted: 3y ago

Of course! Didn’t mean to sound rough, trust me I’ve been there and it wasn’t until my bf brought this up to me that I realized it as well. You got this!

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 19w ago

I could really use some support

I’ve been trying my best with ERP and just everything that’s going on. I have severe OCD, GAD, PMDD, panic disorder, recently diagnosed ADHD, and currently experiencing a major depressive episode. Apparently. I was taking a break from this app but I really need support right now. My family is honestly really mean and not understanding of what I’m going through. Right now it’s gotten bad to the point I had to withdrawal from my last semester of university. My only support is my boyfriend and he’s now planning to join the military. I won’t be able to talk to him for 3 months and I feel really scared of being alone with all of this. I know I shouldn’t depend on him to begin with but right now I’m at an extremely low point and I feel like I won’t make it alone. There hasn’t been a single day we haven’t texted and talked in 4 years. I feel really scared, but I don’t want to hold him back. You guys, I feel so sad and terrified right now. I don’t want him to go, he’s all I have.

malolin_21

Date posted: 16w ago

Hey:) I just want to vent

I’m feeling kind of sad cause today was not a really good day in terms of my ocd. I was feeling kind of foggy/numb and that send me to spiraling. I’m 21 years old currently studying but my family has been having trouble with money for the last couple years(we’re just me and my mom) and I kinda want to get a job but everything is far from my home and I wouldn’t be able to return back at night, also it’s either way more expensive to move or the schedule wouldn’t let me take my classes. The point is that because of that every time my mom is stress tends to treat me bad, she speaks to me like I’m stupid or she just screams to nothing cursing all life and everything and that actually makes me feel soo bad and guilty for not doing anything, I know it’s hard for me to get a job that actually helps us without quitting school but that doesn’t stop me from feeling like I’m a burden. I want to help, I want to maybe hug her or something but I know she will be angrier and probably will reject it. So that’s it, I just feel like she punishes me for the stress she’s carrying and I get it but one day is happy and it feels like all love and the next is treating me like that, Idk it’s hard (also I feel like I shouldn’t be saying this cause it’s all my fault) 🫤

Anonymous

Date posted: 16w ago

My partners mad because of my OCD

Last night I was staying at my boyfriend’s house and couldn’t sleep. I felt like i desperately needed to go back to my parents and clean and organize my room. This has happened a few times before when I was staying at his place. Since then he’s been very upset with me. Does anyone else’s partner do this? Any advice? It’s been hard. He’s made me feel so shameful for having OCD. As if it’s not tough enough /:

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