It's been so debilitating, I've had an extreme fear of saying slurs, muttering, mouthing or humming them. It's been making me feel extremely guilty and like a bad person. I feel like it's not going to get better and I feel like I'm secretly a horrible person because I'll mutter and mouth things and CONVINCE myself I've said a slur. Does anyone else have this fear?
Yes I was fearful of the same thing for 2 years and so much so I wouldn’t speak even if I were going to say something good. I am recovering now , you can get better I promise
Thank you <3 I think I may have actually mouthed something genuinely, do you think OCD is tricking me in your experience or what's your opinion?
@ThatAnxiousWriter Yes I have spent hours a day worrying that I did it on purpose or muttered things bad on purpose. But I can assure you that it’s tricking you. Does this by chance of anything to do with your spirituality or your relationship with God? In my experience that is what I have worried about? I can really help if this is the case
@Alsavage243 I'm worried because they are slurs I cannot say and I support the people heavily the slurs apply to and I've been hyperfocused on worrying if I'll hurt them or others
I completely understand, I have experienced this too. The good thing is.. the fact that you feel guilty shows your geniune care for those people, your ocd will try to convince you that you are bad but if you are worried that means you care and have feelings to do the right things. Someone who doesn’t care wouldn’t worry.
Thank you :) how do I relieve the guilt?
You’re welcome.. as I am still learning the answer to that.. the best advice I can give is that you have to try to think rationally on what you should feel guilty about. (Which is very difficult for someone with ocd) but Guilt is a natural feeling that humans should experience at times when we do mess up so that we can equalize our moral compass and apologize or fix the situation we caused. But in your case, simply having intrusive thoughts or uncontrollable mumbling about hurting others did not actually cause them ANY harm, especially since the only reason this is happening to you is because you DO NOT want to hurt them. So when you have these urges or thoughts you can realize you don’t actually feel that way and if your brain tries to say you do, then you know it’s OCD
Thank you<3<3 sometimes it feels unexcusable. This gives me hope and it helps a lot :)
Yes, I have the same fear. I am scared to go out in public because i feel convinced I said it and it’s the last thing I would ever want to say