Anybody relate ?

Anyone else gets thoughts sometimes about stuff that they did or may didn’t do and feels so bad and like everything is real? Or maybe even get a thought in that moment (for example about an „imperfection“ from the partner) and is convinced that they really think like that? And later when you resist the compulsion after a while you realize that it was all bullshit and just in your head? And then you are happy and free and light and then after latest one hour the next thought is hunting them? And does anyone also feels like they have to tell their partner everything they ever thought or think, feels guilty, the partner tells you to leave it and after a few weeks your mind tells you to tell them again?

Brian K.

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 3y

Hi Hello121212, Yes I can relate on all fronts.False memory and real event OCD can be real troublemakers for sure. The more you try to focus on what really happened the more distorted the memories tend to become and harder to figure out what truly happened as the OCD Bully tries to make you doubt it more and more, especially whether it really happened or not. Also, I find that they more I revisit the memory (real or not) the worse I tend to look in hindsight or the worse the event turns as my OCD wants me to doubt myself more and more. Feeling compelled to confess or apologize all the time is a common trait. It’s a need for reassurance and a compulsion to alleviate or anxiety that we don’t even realize we are doing most of the time. The more we confess or apologize the more we feel the need to do it more and more often. When you feel least anxious, that’s when your OCD Bully will tend to ratchet it up a notch and find something new to try to cause you to feel more anxious again. Also, that’s when it’ll tend to give you a back door spike where it wants to convince you that the reason you are not feeling anxious is because you enjoy that intrusive thought or that it must be true. Since your OCD tends to latch onto whatever you care about most because it knows it can get your attention, with ROCD it can try to convince you of some ridiculous things. Your OCD Bully will try to twist any little comment or action to make you doubt yours or your partner’s intentions or feelings because it knows they will be so hard to ignore and will cause you the most anxiety to feed it. Trying to recognize those intrusive thoughts, especially the out of left field ridiculous ones, is definitely key. Then you can try to dismiss them as the unwanted pop up ads cause by your OCD that they really are. Which I know is much easier said than done. Try to remember that you are not your intrusive thoughts and that you did not ask for them. And the more outrageous or intense these thoughts are they tend to be about the things you care more about. It will try to make you doubt your feelings and your partners feelings anyway it can. Like any other intrusive thought or obsession, try not to actively engage with these thoughts and try to let them pass out of your mind as quickly as they pop in. That’s great that you are able to avoid giving into some of your compulsions and recognize them as such, keep up the good work and stay strong.

Hello121212

Date posted: 3y

My reply: ⬇️

Hello121212

Date posted: 3y

Wow thank you for such a long and detailed reply. I am really trying. Past event OCD really makes me struggle because I feel like it’s different cause I did make mistakes or thought bad in a certain way so I need to confess. But I obsess about it so much that I start confessing thoughts from 4 years ago that I am convinced I had and also the OCD (false memory) adds details or things that I am sure didn’t happen but it makes me think like that when I am deep in my obsession. It’s so draining and I hope one day it goes always :(

madalyndicie...

Date posted: 25w

hello everyone 🤍

i’ve been dealing with this “thing” since i was 15. (i’m 23 now) if i have a bad memory that i have done when i was really young or just an intrusive thought i feel like i need to tell my mom or boyfriend. it’s been on and off ever since but since January hit it’s been an everyday thing about the littlest things. mostly about my relationship. an example is i was talking to someone random at my job and we were talking about taxes and when im in deep thought or just thinking i do a thing where i bite my lip (not in the sexual way) and i had a thought when it happened “was that sexual?” and i felt like i did something wrong and i went for a while thinking that until i told my boyfriend about it. or like my ex’s face has popped up in my head in the most inappropriate times and i feel the need that i have to tell him. (my ex was not a good person) i feel like im a prisoner in my head everyday, trying to justify thoughts or remind myself that its just a thought. i didnt know that this was or could be a form of ocd. it runs in my family but i’ve just never considered it being this. i always called it anxiety or depression but i always felt like it is more than that.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 23w

Sneaky Distortions?

Does anyone else find it hard to let go of an intrusive thought when you can find some irrelevant truth to it that feels relevant? Examples: **“You’re attracted to *insert inappropriate person* (family member/child/animal)”** “But they are pretty/cute/adorable…” **“You think your bf is ugly.”** “Well, his hair did look weird the other day and I’ve taken unflattering photos of him. He *could* be (more fit/better dressed/etc)…” **“What if I actually want bad things to happen to me for attention?”** “Well, I have imagined people comforting me… and sometimes I do not mind when others check in on me.” **“What if I’m actually a bad person deep down?”** “Well, I have made mistakes before… and sometimes I do not immediately feel guilty.” **“What if I secretly want to be with someone else?”** “I have thought about what it would be like to date different people.” **“You wanted (family member/child/anyone else) to find you sexy”** “Well, I don’t want to be seen as ugly, and a compliment is flattering.” —— It’s such a skillful distortion at times that I don’t even realize things are twisted, and I genuinely believe the thought, causing me to panic so intensely. Only later, I look back and have small epiphanies where I realize it wasn’t at all what I thought. Anyone else?

Anonymous2212

Date posted: 20w

False Memory/ ROCD

I am diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, and mild depression. But my OCD symptoms are so prominent in my daily life where it feels debilitating. It comes in waves, there will be months with very minor symptoms and other times where it comes in random hitting me like a truck making me rethink life. I grew up having intrusive thoughts of all types, and a lot of them sent me over the edge because I couldn’t understand why things of such sort would cross my mind, things that I’m sure to this day that I’m incapable of or would never want to actually do. Yet I find myself in a constant cycle of trying to dig deep in the past and trying to figure out if I ever acted on any of the intrusive thoughts I can remember, yet ofc have no recollection of acting on them because they most likely didn’t happen. However, not having concrete proof of these things makes me not want to see another day sometimes. It is so hard to move into daily basis like this. I’m also in a happy healthy relationship and sometimes I get these thoughts of “what if I’ve done something awful during the relationship (for example, cheat, dishonesty, etc.) and can’t remember?” I know I would never do anything intentionally to harm my relationship and I think that maybe the idea of not having my partner sends me down a rabbit hole to think all these things. This mental fight is getting harder and harder. It feels unbearable. Does anyone have some fruit for thought, relate, or have any tips?

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