It's so weird how my brain will convince me that I'm a pedo when I'm obsessed with making sure people are 18+ and I have no desire to seek children out but somehow that's not good enough for my brain. Somehow I'm lying to myself and it's all going to come crashing down one day? Its so weird the more I think about it, the less it makes sense but somehow I convince myself this is all a elaborate trick on myself? Like the logic of my paranoia is so weird but I can't shake it. I hate this. I was doing so well for months, then bam get triggered and I feel like I've regressed months.

I actually went through the same thing and had to stop checking people out because my mind would tell me what if that guy isn’t 18 and you’re a pedo for even looking, it got so bad it even started getting to me in my dreams where I would ask everyone around me if they were of age and 18 or older. The good thing is your conscious knows you have no desire to look and seek and do what your thoughts are telling you to do or like. You’re not playing tricks in yourself your mind likes to pick at what you feel is wrong and stuff you’re afraid of. The more you feed into the thoughts the worse they’ll get.

Yeah it's been a back and forth the last few days. I play into it and it takes me into a deep pit of depression then I start to get out of it by reasoning and rationalizing it, then I feel better, then my mind finds a reason to fear over again then finally I stop caring I get better then I go a few months without caring then suddenly my mind goes "Hey, here's a reason why you're wrong and you should care." Back to step one I go. Haha.