All these different themes are like me living In my worst nightmare, I don’t want any of these thoughts and I accept the uncertainty behind them, but I just want to be back to me. I’m looking for any advice
Well, I also from time to time suffer from Sexual Orientation OCD. When I watched documentaries about transgenders, I also had Transgender OCD for a while, but that resolved itself on its own, as I felt certainty, that I like being a woman. When I worry about maybe being a lesbian, saying - Well, it wouldn't be bad, if I was... so who cares? - it gets better quickly, but then sometimes it pops up and I can't easily say that and SO OCD gets its grip around me again... My former therapist told me to neither say "yes", or "no" to my OCD thoughts, but "maybe". This maybe helped me a lot with keeping my magical thoughts at bay. Other therapists before her always told me to say "yes" to my thoughts and that's what I never really could do. Unfortunately, with regards to POCD, thinking "maybe" is often too hard to accomplish. My advice is to seek ERP therapy with a therapist who is specialized in OCD.
Thank you so much, my ocd started with soocd, then reading about subtypes it latched onto trans aswell. I’m confident in being a male and that’s all I’ll ever want, it’s more the fear of being trans and I find that thought so scary, I’ll try to say maybe but similar for your pocd it’s just so difficult for me to accept the possibility
How long did ur tocd last ?
@melissaaa I’ve still got it pretty bad, been around 2 weeks
I totally understand... For me, it is not only the thought of being lesbian, but what that would mean. When I still had a partner, I had been scared more by SO, as it would have meant, that I would have to leave him. Did you ever try ERP therapy?
I did about 3 sessions, this was all before my trans subtype. It certainly worked for my soocd, but ocd found something else. To latch onto sadly):
Hi! I understand how painful OCD can be. I'd like to validate what you're feeling by saying that themes can and often do change and it can feel so distressing. However, we always go back to the gold standard of treatment—ERP! It does get better if you put in the work! Also, sometimes therapy alone may not work for people, sometimes a combination of therapy and medication can be helpful for people. If you're working with a NOCD therapist, definitely ask them about all of your options. Here are some resources that may be helpful to you: https://www.sheppardpratt.org/news-views/story/how-to-respond-to-unwanted-obsessive-thoughts/#:~:text=There%20is%20no%20one%20right,if%20you%20wish%20to%20entertain. Also, the Fear Cast podcast is great. This episode is about changing themes: https://fearcastpodcast.com/2022/03/08/flavor-of-the-week/ And, here is one about recovery and if people can actually get better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bgt5Xd0kOGE&t=103s You got this! :)
Dear A., thanks so much. ☺️
It feels it always tries a way to sneak back in... Aged 14 I took SSRIs for the first time, I had been completely OCD free for two weeks, then it came back as strong as before. It really feels, that my brain is inclined that way and I have to fight OCD and am not able to take the easy route (medication) to tame it. But if ERP worked for SO OCD, try it again for T OCD. See it like Pedusa, you need to cut off every snake, it is not enough to just cut off one.
Hi again :c I’ve been having terrible thoughts of hurting my loved ones I’ve stopped watching horror movies which is my favorite genre and can’t even watch or read anything related to violence even if it’s just a video or movie talking about it, I get triggered so fast I really miss feeling that relief with my mom I miss my mom so much and I just don’t know what to do anymore I almost committed last weekend from how scared I was and Ik your thinking will you try again? idk I’m not sure, one day I might say “no” next I’ll plan it out, but truth be told I don’t want to die I want to live a normal life, I want to stay with my mom and my family, I love my family and my grandma and my older brother..I’m so sick of feeling this feeling, I’m tired of arguing with my brain, I want to be with my mom and spend time with her like I used to, but I can’t stand that thought of hurting them it makes me shake and I feel this pain in my chest, my OCD has been trying to convince me all those crime docs and stuff I’m into turned me this way but that’s impossible since I’ve never thought like this before I’m just tired that’s all Idek know what I’m looking for saying this..prolly just to vent or to know if this will ever go away..
Hi everyone, I haven’t posted in a while—about 6 months—but I’m really struggling and need some help or advice. I thought I had healed from all of this, or at least I was doing so much better. I have never felt this before but it feels like I’m slipping back into something I can’t control. Right now, it feels like I’m stuck in a bad reality. It’s like I’m trapped with my dad in one reality, and I’m trying to get back to the other where I’m with my family, but I can’t. It’s so hard to explain, but everything around me feels unreal, and my mind keeps telling me I’m stuck. It feels so real, and I don’t know how to get out of it. It’s like I’ve been transported to another world, and I can’t break free. nd now I’m scared I’ll never come back to the “good” reality I had before. and I genuinely believe this. I’ve been struggling with these thoughts about spiritual realms, the devil, and spiritual warfare. My dad has always talked about these things, and he’s gone through psychosis before. He’s also had a history of doing a lot of drugs, and now I’m terrified that I might end up like him. I fear that I’m somehow becoming like him, trapped in that same mental space he’s been in. He talks about spiritual stuff that scares me, and I can’t shake the thought that I might be losing myself the same way he did. I know this might sound weird, but I feel like I’m getting closer to that line, and I don’t know how to stop it. I keep feeling like I’ll never come back to the way things were, like I’ll always be stuck in this distorted reality. I’m afraid of losing myself, especially in my faith. I believe in God, but my thoughts and fears about all of this are making it hard to feel connected to Him. I feel so distant from God right now, and it’s hard to see how this can change. Has anyone else experienced something like this—feeling like you’re trapped between realities, afraid of becoming someone you don’t want to be, or struggling with fears like this? How did you cope? I just need some hope that I can get through this and come back to a better place. I’m scared, and I feel like I can’t escape this. Any advice would really mean a lot right now.
Struggling with TOCD has probably been the hardest theme I’ve had to deal with so far For reference. I’m a gay male 20yr old Before this theme I was so open with my gender expression, love drag and used to do it for a time. A lot of my friends are trans women and my whole life is queer When this theme hit. It’s like I completely lost who I was. Questioning everything I enjoyed, not participating in anything because it triggered me so heavily. I went through a whole gender journey awhile back and the trans path never spoke to me when I looked into it. I love my physique and my face but now when I look into the mirror i feel like a shell of who I was. I can’t find any sort of pure enjoyment without the accompanying “what if” or “you’re this” intrusive thought I still enjoy how I look. I’ve not looked in the mirror and felt like anything is missing from me or needs to be taken away I just feel like a spectator in my life while this disease tells me I’m not who I know myself to be I affirm myself every day I know who I am and it may change in the future but that’s not important. It’s highly unlikely it will but it may! Giving into the uncertainty has been so hard but it’s worth it! My ocd has really picked up since getting into my first serious relationship I care about my boyfriend with my whole heart but over the course of our relationship my themes have included Health Relationship Irreality Harm I just want to be who I was again before this current theme it feels unbearable to live like this BUT! I’m seeking appropriate treatment and not giving into a majority of compulsions I just wanted to write this to see if anyone can relate and if they do. Know that you will overcome this! I know I will and you will too
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