Hey all. Long time reader/liker, first time posting. Any tips on dealing with contamination/health concern OCD with rabies? I (30/f) held a lemur yesterday at an aquarium and spent hours afterwards researching and validation seeking. I know it’s just my OCD convincing me “what if you were bit or scratched or licked without realizing it”. Is the exposure not seeking validation and information? Any tips would be greatly appreciated. I’m on vacation with friends and this is ruining these last few days with them. Thanks, friends.

Hi all. This is my first time posting on this, and I’m a little concerned about it, but recently my OCD has reached some new levels that are getting pretty overwhelming. It would mean a whole lot to me if some of you would read this and offer me your two cents. Today I was at my girlfriends house for a Passover dinner and nuts were out for a snack. Something about me that’s important to know for this story is that I have an extremely sever Peanut allergy - life threatening. I carry two epi-pens on me at all times. Back to the story, although I am only allergic to peanuts and no tree nuts, these nuts that were placed out were assorted tree nuts, that were likely coated with peanut oil. I lost control. This was the most out of control I have felt in years. I watched the mother eat a nut then take a taste test of the chicken. I was convinced I was going to have a reaction. Later we sat down at the table, and I was in complete fear. The father offered me matzo, but I was too afraid to have anything he touched. I even ended up looking at my girlfriend, who is well aware of my condition, that I was going to end up in the hospital for sure. All I could think about from that moment on was a two-hour mental clock that’s end would signify I would no longer be in danger of going into anaphylactic shock. I had no control and was shaking all throughout the dinner. I truly had no clue what to do and felt completely overrun. Just one day before that, I had another freak-out. This one took place on a vacation, where I had to apply sunscreen to myself. I was absolutely terrified that I had gotten poison ivy from earlier in the day and that I was rubbing it all over myself, and would one day in the near future wake up with it all over me. I tried to voice these concerns to my mother, but I just couldn’t listen to her answer. No matter what she says I dismiss it because I believe she has no clue what she’s talking about, while I, on the other hand, am a self-proclaimed poison ivy “expert.” I know this is terribly long but, here’s what I’m getting into. This condition has been tearing me apart. I am constantly in a state of unrest and I feel that it is tearing down my relationship, even though my significant other is typically understanding. The worst part is, as much as I want to never have OCD again, I am completely afraid to break free from it’s shackles. I believe that my OCD has always given me significant intelligence, and recently had even let me see the world in ways that I could never have before. I have always said that it is the silent killer. OCD is the most subtle death to anyone. It has torn me apart and managed to make me feel dependent on it. As much as I find it horrible, I find it beautifully; and I don’t want to lose something that could potentially make me who I am.

I can’t deal with this OCD bullshit anymore. It’s to the point where every time I walk out my house and come back in I have to sanitize my shoes then the floor where my shoes stepped. I even have my boyfriend doing this and he doesn’t have OCD. I can’t even enough life like I use to anymore I have constantly be cleaning and disinfecting. All these chemicals that have gotten on my skin I know that can’t be healthy. I’m scared the thought of even walking in with my shoes and not using disinfectant triggers me so badly that it ruins my whole day. This all happened when weeks ago I saw a skunk at night walking through the apartment complex I lived in. Then I took my dogs to the vet to get their vaccines. Even though there was no contact I still freak out about rabies. Then the vet assured me that everything was ok. Then I see this stray cat that walks around the apartment complex and he is always trying to come up to my apartment door or the walkway then I’ve seen him walk we’re the skunk area was so now I’m like what if this cat has rabies and I walk where it walks and track it in my house and get rabies. God forbid. It’s to the point where we have a shoe rack and we have to disinfect every time we walk in and out. The other day I had guest and when they left the whole entire house was mopped and I even had bathe my dogs too since they were walking around where everyone was stepping. I even threw away their dog bed and bought them new ones. Please help I can’t live like this anymore.

I have extreme fear of rabies and it triggered my usually bearable ocd to the point i cant function normally. Whenever I pass by something on the ground resembling a bat my brain tells me its a bat and that I have touched it with my hand and that I have rabies now. Sometimes I take a photo of potential triggers to be sure I wont ruminate later aka ask myself what if it was this or that and i just look at the photo i took and be sure its nothing. The triggers are also becoming harder to bear everytime, for example 3 days ago it was night and I saw something small and dark on the ground and didnt see it clearly, phone was almost dead and i couldnt take a photo of it, probably wouldnt anyway because there were two people nearby so i just left myself a note in the phone that it was nothing and I didnt touch it, but you guessed it, my brain says its a bat and that i touched it, creating a false memory and now i feel like i cant know what actually happened..rn i cant think of anything but being terrified of dying of rabies because i cant trust my memory. I feel like Im going crazy