I only want to be with cis-girls… this does not mean I am transphobic… I respect people no matter what pronouns someone uses and actively try to refer them as such… I just only want to be with cis-girls because they are my preference and being with a cis-girl feels right to me… 😞😞😞
OCD-correct answer: Accept the uncertainty that you, like anyone could be transphobic. You don't need to figure it out. In fact, your job is to NOT figure it out. Off-the-record answer: Of course it doesn't mean you're transphobic. That's like saying people who are only attracted to men are sexist. You like what you like!!
I’ve had people call me transphobic in the past for it… 😞😞😞
@745 They don't understand OCD then... To many, I figured, OCD is having the urge to control things, like doors and stoves, or constantly wash one's hands, most OCD forms are not widly known.
@Zoë_84 I didn’t have my glasses a couple weeks ago and I thought I saw a cis-girl next door. I thought she was cute and moved on. Turns out it was a transgender girl… L I respect people who go by different pronouns and make active efforts to use the correct pronouns you know? I just don’t ever want to be romantically involved with a trans person because they aren’t my preference… I didn’t know that she was trans because I couldn’t see that well and she looked like a cis-girl from my blind perspective
@745 There is nothing wrong with that, preferences are preferences... If I find an accent unattractive, I don't want to date someone. I got called mean for that, but why would I want to date someone I'm not attracted to? Thing is, I found the person who called me mean to be in the wrong, not me.
@Zoë_84 Like I respect everyone and want to actively be a good person to everyone I meet. I don’t want to be phobic of anyone… 😞😞😞
@745 OCD doesn't mean you are phobic... This is exactly it! It is so important to you to be not phobic, that OCD makes you doubt it... OCD only latches on to things that we deeply care about. If I wouldn't care about animals, I wouldn't suffer of ZOCD. I could never suffer from Religious OCD, as I al not religious, if I had blasphemic thoughts, I wouldn't care, therefore OCD can't find solid ground to stand on in that regard.
@Zoë_84 Like for me, I get intrusive thoughts of homophobic slurs… not only do I not want that because I don’t want to ever be hateful to anyone, but I also read that homophobic people are in denial (internalized homophobia) and that triggers me too… and the lack of POCD intrusive thoughts in recent months (though I do get triggers occasionally) also really hurts me too… 😭😭😭
@745 I get that... it's all OCD, constant doubts... I met homophobic people and honestly, some are open homophobes, others say they are not homohobes, but say stuff and act like homophobes, those people are homophobes and in denial. But, if you are respectful to homosexuals and don't judge them for their sexual orientation, then you are not a homophobe no matter the OCD thoughts you have. I also get mean slurs in my head, I just ignore them. And yes, if I don't have POCD thoughts, when I normally had them, I also wonder... but that is OCD, it "wants" to make us feel bad and doubt as strongly and often as it can.
@Zoë_84 I have real event OCD based on my HOCD, and POCD… it all has to do with porn… 😞😞😞
@Zoë_84 And I don’t honestly know what to do about it…
@745 I know you don't have the money for therapy, but as most here are only sufferers like yourself, we are unable to provide you with the support you need. You can of course try to find self-support groups, online and offline, or do ERP by yourself, but as you haven't been diagnosed yet and never had ERP therapy, I think self-therapy is hard.
You can't spare one, or two hundred Dollars per months? I had good online ERP therapy for 100 Dollars per session...
I need the money for college… I don’t have a car so I’ve been using ubers
hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
Has anyone experienced where you love woman everything about them, even to the point where you still can get erections watching normal porn, lesbian porn etc. but you find your self still admiring a good looking man. I’ve went through the groinal responses when seeing a man but honestly after watching porn and realizing it’s not about sex it went away. On the other hand even when there’s a male and a female in a picture I can’t stop looking at the male and judging, but the minute they’re naked I’m fine and looking at the woman. I started watching porn at a very young age so I’m wondering do I only sexualize woman and admire the man so in everyday life I don’t see her as beautiful because she’s not naked ? I understand as a straight male I can still think guys are attractive but why do I constantly notice them more than women? I also can admire and see when a girl is beautiful in the face but then if a dude that’s more attractive than me pops up in staring at him. Has anyone experience this?
I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲
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