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I wish we could see things how others do. Reading this I almost laughed because it’s so ridiculous. I only say this from a place of utmost understanding! I thought I was a lesbian for YEARS. Until one day I accepted it, fully accepted that you know what I like girls and I’m still me and I still love me. And just like that my OCD over being a lesbian was GONE. I know we aren’t supposed to reassure people but reassurance helps me personally, I hope me telling you this does the same for you ?

The purpose of acceptance is to acknowledge that OCD thoughts are happening but not to accept the meaning of the thoughts. You don't have to be afraid OCD thoughts will take over and force you to do anything. The point of acceptance is to say ok these intrusive thoughts happen but I won't give them any more of my attention. They mean nothing and I don't have to analyze or figure them out. Let the thoughts pass by like clouds attaching no meaning to them. Then redirect your thoughts to things you truly want to focus on.

I used to do this when I was younger, before I knew I had OCD. When I accepted that I might be a lesbian, all the thoughts eventually went away because I wasn't giving importance to them. I, too, was completely convinced I was a lesbian and might as well accept it. Maybe I am, who knows, but probably not considering I've never chosen to be with a woman in real life. Point is - just because it feels real doesn't mean it is. And you're on an OCD support site, so I'm assuming you have OCD or are considering that you might, which indicates to me that this is more of a fear than reality. Hang in there and just try to give it all less importance

The thoughts are extremely scary and deceiving but if they give you anxiety and you would rather not have the thoughts then it is still OCD. If you're just concerned about family/societal acceptance or navigating new relationships then that could be different but I think the OCD thoughts are just working really hard to confuse you.

^^

Actions are what are real. If you hook up with a girl and like it and have no fear associated with it, you're a lesbian and that's fine and you'd be fine with it too. But since you're on this support site upset about it, that's not the case.

Ok so why do you think youre a lesbian? Is it physical sensation based and fear based or is it that youve never been atracted to the opposite sex? Are you giving in because you're exhausted from being afraid or because it feels right and freeing to be who you are because who you are feels good (not sad and scary and inevitable). Did you know that it's normal to feel a sensation that is similar to a sexual turn on. That is what makes sexual ocd so difficult. But a therapist has told me that it is not a "turn on" but a "groinial sexual response" aka sexual anxiety. There are reasons for this happening that have to do with trauma and many times sexual trauma from sexual abuse of some sort. Even smaller acts of sexual abuse that don't include touch can be enough to cause this trauma. The sexual anxiety is a physical sensation that is alerting you and expressing your fear of being aroused. The more you focus on your fear though the more ocd creeps in so try to rest and know you are not your thoughts. Sometimes a thought belongs to someone else you knew. In my case my therapist told me it is my old abusers thought. Sexual ocd is based around fears of being a sexual abuser or doing or wanting something sexual that you don't actually want. You know you wouldn't but your mind tries to convince you otherwise. The ocd mind is always thinking that we don't have control but we do. We are not our minds and we don't have to play along. We can heal.

If it's not real then it's not an easy way out because it won't work

I've met girls who started dating women because they had trauma in their life and anxiety disorders etc and they actually lived it and it was just a lie. They just hurt themselves more that way because eventually they realized they were just afraid of males. A male abuser had raped or abused them and so they went toward women not realising that women can be abusive too. Sigh If we have ocd symptoms and we take the ocd tests and know we gave ocd then we should just logically try to know that we are not actually gay but we are suffering from ocd. I'm so sorry your mind has been so mean. Just know you are not your thoughts and your thoughts are not you. We're you ever sexually abused? You don't have to answer just know that sexual abuse is commonly why sexual ocd occurs.

@Eripley8- did the girls you are taking about experience some sort of enjoyment/ satisfaction through those relationships or was it an entirely negative experience while in the relationship?

That’s what I’m saying, just accept it. If You are a lesbian who cares? The answer is you care, thats why you’re having this specific type of OCD. When you realize you can be a wonderful human and be a lesbian, those thoughts will most likely go away ?