Crystal ball
- Date posted
- 3y
cj4ebaycj4ebay
- Date posted
- 3y
ERP is difficult, and it triggers a things in us we buried down deep. It’s also not for everyone. Look at the positives of what’s it’s given you. Even if those are realizations of your compulsions and triggers you didn’t know you had.
Crystal ballCrystal ball
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you. I try to look at the positives, it just gets really hard sometimes.
cj4ebaycj4ebay
- Date posted
- 3y
I have ptsd mixed with my OCD so sometimes exposures aren’t going to work for me. Some themes sure, but not all. So I’m reassessing. But the positives were that I had a lot of triggers before and less now.
Crystal ballCrystal ball
- Date posted
- 3y
I have noticed that some of my triggers have gotten better, but on the flip side I have new triggers. So damn confused.
cj4ebaycj4ebay
- Date posted
- 3y
@Crystal ball Not to add to the stress but, for real it’s not for everyone and doesn’t work for everyone. So if you don’t have a real progression or hit a plateau it’s maybe something they can help with or you can find another way. I got really discouraged and thought this was my last hope but I’ve found other ways to get through it little by little. Wishing you the best. It’s a marathon that starts over every day.
Crystal ballCrystal ball
- Date posted
- 3y
@cj4ebay Yes it does.
BigManBigMan
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m curious what you mean by “becoming someone that you don’t like or want to be”. I certainly feel like a different person but it’s someone with more clarity, confidence, and joy - mostly. That is someone I certainly want to be, even at the cost of who I used to be. It reminds me of a line from a song: “Forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain.”
Crystal ballCrystal ball
- Date posted
- 3y
It just seems like in order to get past these OCD fears (40+ years by the way), I can’t figure out who I am without them. If I don’t care, I know I can’t get hurt. I know that sounds horrible and selfish, and that is not who I am nor want to be. I’m just really really lost.
BigManBigMan
- Date posted
- 3y
@Crystal ball I think it’s akin to being an alcoholic who has become a compulsive liar after getting sober. If you have ever met or gotten to know one of these folks they’ve lied constantly for potentially decades trying to hide their shame. Once they get sober, they try to hold themselves to a standard of not lying. But having spent so long lying, they no longer know what to say at all! I think we are in a similar situation. When I am successful in stopping my OCD I feel like something is missing, like my mind is empty, like I’ve become stupid, a million feelings well up. I feel like I’m a hollow person! There is no substance to me anymore. I don’t have an answer for you, I’m not your age and I’ve not been fighting this as long as you. I do trust that if I fill my mind and life with new, good things then these novel fears will gradually subside.
Crystal ballCrystal ball
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigMan Thank you for your words. I will try to stay positive. It’s just a new world… a new scary world.
Related posts
waybaby
- Date posted
- 18w
Weird
I’ve started ERP therapy with a really great therapist, and I haven’t gave into my compulsions but I still have anxiety and yesterday my brain was telling me that people were zombies😭 is this normal?
nevieocal
- Date posted
- 15w
Can someone please help me?
I think when people are saying OCD is egodystonic is really triggering me and I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone else? I’m going through a really bad relapse and right now I’m trying to figure out if my thoughts are truly egodystonic, like I how do I know I won’t act on them, how can I trust my emotions and everything. I feel really confused and I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore or how I carry on with life because it’s so long and I’m so unsure of everything that’s going on in my head. Like how do I know that this is OCD and true desires/urges. I’m so confused.
Looping
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 11w
ERP/Therapy
I find while doing exposures, rarely does my anxiety lessen. It usually amps up and stays that way for the remainder of the day. I could be having a fairly decent day, but dutifully do my exposures and then the rest of my day is anxiety filled. I guess that’s just how it is now? Also, I’m wondering if my therapist even believes I have OCD. I totally understand my therapist cannot provide reassurance. But it’s to the point it seems my therapist acts like I actually did the thing I fear. I feel so isolated.
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