Does anyone else feel like they are becoming someone different when going thru ERP? Like becoming someone that you don’t like or want to be? I feel like I don’t even know who I am, like I am starting to not care about things that I always cared about. I do not like this at all.

cj4ebay

Date posted: 3y ago

ERP is difficult, and it triggers a things in us we buried down deep. It’s also not for everyone. Look at the positives of what’s it’s given you. Even if those are realizations of your compulsions and triggers you didn’t know you had.

Crystal ball

Date posted: 3y ago

Thank you. I try to look at the positives, it just gets really hard sometimes.

cj4ebay

Date posted: 3y ago

I have ptsd mixed with my OCD so sometimes exposures aren’t going to work for me. Some themes sure, but not all. So I’m reassessing. But the positives were that I had a lot of triggers before and less now.

Crystal ball

Date posted: 3y ago

I have noticed that some of my triggers have gotten better, but on the flip side I have new triggers. So damn confused.

cj4ebay

Date posted: 3y ago

@Crystal ball Not to add to the stress but, for real it’s not for everyone and doesn’t work for everyone. So if you don’t have a real progression or hit a plateau it’s maybe something they can help with or you can find another way. I got really discouraged and thought this was my last hope but I’ve found other ways to get through it little by little. Wishing you the best. It’s a marathon that starts over every day.

Crystal ball

Date posted: 3y ago

@cj4ebay Yes it does.

BigMan

Date posted: 3y ago

I’m curious what you mean by “becoming someone that you don’t like or want to be”. I certainly feel like a different person but it’s someone with more clarity, confidence, and joy - mostly. That is someone I certainly want to be, even at the cost of who I used to be. It reminds me of a line from a song: “Forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain.”

Crystal ball

Date posted: 3y ago

It just seems like in order to get past these OCD fears (40+ years by the way), I can’t figure out who I am without them. If I don’t care, I know I can’t get hurt. I know that sounds horrible and selfish, and that is not who I am nor want to be. I’m just really really lost.

BigMan

Date posted: 3y ago

@Crystal ball I think it’s akin to being an alcoholic who has become a compulsive liar after getting sober. If you have ever met or gotten to know one of these folks they’ve lied constantly for potentially decades trying to hide their shame. Once they get sober, they try to hold themselves to a standard of not lying. But having spent so long lying, they no longer know what to say at all! I think we are in a similar situation. When I am successful in stopping my OCD I feel like something is missing, like my mind is empty, like I’ve become stupid, a million feelings well up. I feel like I’m a hollow person! There is no substance to me anymore. I don’t have an answer for you, I’m not your age and I’ve not been fighting this as long as you. I do trust that if I fill my mind and life with new, good things then these novel fears will gradually subside.

Crystal ball

Date posted: 3y ago

@BigMan Thank you for your words. I will try to stay positive. It’s just a new world… a new scary world.

frannyb

Date posted: 12w ago

I can't do this anymore

I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.

waybaby

Date posted: 11w ago

Weird

I’ve started ERP therapy with a really great therapist, and I haven’t gave into my compulsions but I still have anxiety and yesterday my brain was telling me that people were zombies😭 is this normal?

Anonymous1990

Date posted: 11w ago

ERP

I’m starting NOCD. I had several years of cbt as a child (well over 20 years ago) and I see a trauma therapist. But now I’ll be seeking further help for OCD and just really scared. CBT wasn’t helpful for me. How has ERP been helpful for you? Do you feel like you’ll finally get your life back? I’m consumed by my obsessions 😢 Would love others feedback if ERP helped you ❤️

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Does anyone else feel like they are becoming someone different when going thru ERP? Like becoming someone that you don’t like or want to be? I feel like I don’t even know who I am, like I am starting to not care about things that I always cared about. I do not like this at all.

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