hey, i have a question to people with obsessions and intrusive thoughts about sexual orientation. i too have a little tiny amount of worries about being any other sexual orientation than i think i am now, but they dont bother me that much. i see a lot of people here have these thoughts in huge portions. my question is, what is it that makes you afraid of it? i know this could seem like a really rude question, but its asked out of curiosity; does it have to do with internalised homophobia? or is it because your current sexuality is very strong and being anything else would completely change your identity? i just wonder a lot

like ali graymond says, if you have a thought that gives you anxiety, its ocd presenting your worst nightmares as reality. i dont think youre gay if it makes you anxious like that

I think the second option fits me best. It’s just I don’t know why I have this. I just don’t know

In a gay person with so-ocd, so i know that its a weird slap out of nowhere. I personally know women dont arouse me, so this weird mind game is really hard for me. Especially since i know none of it is real. It makes it harder sometimes to do things to help stop it/move on because of that fact. "You need to accept it might be true" is always stopped with "but i literally know it isnt" and my brain cannot seem to let that go

and concerning my own intrusive thoughts about this, i feel i get them because ive always been a hypersexual person, and a total man addict, so intrusive thoughts about secretly being a lesbian freaks me out because its completely opposite to what ive always been. im way more capable to accept and move on from these thoughts, also because to me they dont mean sudden death or tragedy, and gay people are no different from anyone else besides that, being gay.

but thats what ocd does! it makes it seem like youre getting closer and closer to your worst nightmares becoming actual reality! i write a lot of notes and stuff when im anxious, and if i look back at what i wrote down about 6 months ago, im able to see that its exactly the same. im moving no closer, at all. i worry about the same 15 different themes everyday as if ive never worried about them before, but they’ve all been there all along. if u write some notes down once in a while, youmll be able to see that youre getting nowhere, and that it has been thought before

Think about hocd as if someone were trying to push you in a sexuality that doesn't identify with what you are. When the thought comes we don't feel like ourselves. We feel anguish and we desperate. We are no different from people who suffers suicide ocd, harm ocd, ped or contamination. You just had a thought that you gave too much relevance and now is a torment in your head.

First it made me anxious. Now it is not making me anxious at all and that is even worse. It feels as if i really want it. It just feels so real that this is what i have been all these years a lesbian. because of all of this i am trying not to meet anyone or go outside. it feels as if i have lost my identity. It does not let me settle on either side. I just don't know who i am.

i think when ocd is really intense, the anxiety drains you so much that your feelings end up being very vague, almost so much that you barely even know its there. i think its called adrenal fatigue? but yeah, sometimes i get the thoughts that scare me and i barely end uo anxious, and then it makes me more anxious that im not scared enough, but on those days its like my adrenaline tank is low and theres no “fuel” left

I wasn’t really boy crazy. I had just finished a very intense crush and I had a few small ones before this happened. I don’t know why I have this tho. Maybe it’s just my true sexuality coming out. Oof here comes anxiety

The thing is- the first month of this it was exactly as the symptoms for hocd said it was. Exactly the same. Now which is my second month it’s like the symptoms have evolved next level and they are 10x worse

I do that sometimes. I have a small booklet I can write how I am feeling in with some inspirational things people have told me here. But the thing whenever someone says the want to talk to me I always worry it because they’ve found out and It doesn’t go away until I know the booklet it’s back in its spot. It definitely it’s like a burden

It feels the exact same way for me too. Exactly the same. It feels as if I accepted it. I can’t even imagine myself living a guy now. I swear you’ve described exactly what I’m feeling except that I still get a little anxioua

Mine is definitely a lot more intense than yours. One part of me knows I am not arouse by girls but another part of me just can’t stop thinking about it and doesn’t know if I am or not