anna banana
- Date posted
- 6y
anna bananaanna banana
- Date posted
- 6y
like ali graymond says, if you have a thought that gives you anxiety, its ocd presenting your worst nightmares as reality. i dont think youre gay if it makes you anxious like that
GfauxGfaux
- Date posted
- 6y
In a gay person with so-ocd, so i know that its a weird slap out of nowhere. I personally know women dont arouse me, so this weird mind game is really hard for me. Especially since i know none of it is real. It makes it harder sometimes to do things to help stop it/move on because of that fact. "You need to accept it might be true" is always stopped with "but i literally know it isnt" and my brain cannot seem to let that go
anna bananaanna banana
- Date posted
- 6y
and concerning my own intrusive thoughts about this, i feel i get them because ive always been a hypersexual person, and a total man addict, so intrusive thoughts about secretly being a lesbian freaks me out because its completely opposite to what ive always been. im way more capable to accept and move on from these thoughts, also because to me they dont mean sudden death or tragedy, and gay people are no different from anyone else besides that, being gay.
anna bananaanna banana
- Date posted
- 6y
but thats what ocd does! it makes it seem like youre getting closer and closer to your worst nightmares becoming actual reality! i write a lot of notes and stuff when im anxious, and if i look back at what i wrote down about 6 months ago, im able to see that its exactly the same. im moving no closer, at all. i worry about the same 15 different themes everyday as if ive never worried about them before, but they’ve all been there all along. if u write some notes down once in a while, youmll be able to see that youre getting nowhere, and that it has been thought before
Brooklyn33Brooklyn33
- Date posted
- 6y
Think about hocd as if someone were trying to push you in a sexuality that doesn't identify with what you are. When the thought comes we don't feel like ourselves. We feel anguish and we desperate. We are no different from people who suffers suicide ocd, harm ocd, ped or contamination. You just had a thought that you gave too much relevance and now is a torment in your head.
prakritiprakriti
- Date posted
- 6y
First it made me anxious. Now it is not making me anxious at all and that is even worse. It feels as if i really want it. It just feels so real that this is what i have been all these years a lesbian. because of all of this i am trying not to meet anyone or go outside. it feels as if i have lost my identity. It does not let me settle on either side. I just don't know who i am.
anna bananaanna banana
- Date posted
- 6y
i think when ocd is really intense, the anxiety drains you so much that your feelings end up being very vague, almost so much that you barely even know its there. i think its called adrenal fatigue? but yeah, sometimes i get the thoughts that scare me and i barely end uo anxious, and then it makes me more anxious that im not scared enough, but on those days its like my adrenaline tank is low and theres no “fuel” left
Related posts
Elliesmith
- Date posted
- 23w
Is this ocd
So my whole life I’ve been heterosexual. I have got hocd so I worry I’m a lesbian when I have no reason to worry about it because im straight ( not that my ocd likes to think that tho lol! ). But there’s this thought I have, How do I know I’m 100% straight if I haven’t tried sleeping with a girl? Bear in mind I’ve NEVER WANTED TO and DONT want too. Hence why it is an INTRUSIVE thought. But the thought is so uncomfortable- I can’t seem to shift it. But i do see that THIS IS OCD & wanting to know for certain. Thats the definition of OCD. I do know that but it’s tough with the stupid doubts!!! Do you guys just live with the unknown / uncertainty. I’m so happy and love my boyfriend and only want to be with him etc. Let me say again, I DONT want to sleep with a girl nor have I ever fantasized about it. But why does ocd want 100% certainty.. I just wanna not have that weird niggling thought.
vaiiolyn
- Date posted
- 20w
Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
user74128588493
- Date posted
- 11w
hocd and scared it’s internalized homophobia
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond