Im 17, My pocd and incest ocd was getting better but then I went on a reassurance bender online and ended up reading a story from a 19 girl saying she had sexual activities with her uncle and describing it in detail and i poped a boner. I cant keep living like this ive already made so many excuses for myself im a sick f*ck
Are you doing ERP with a therapist? There is no other way other than exposing yourself and accepting all the feelings, thoughts or physical experiences that come with it. But I truly understand your pain, groinals were one of the toughest things for me to accept. I can't help but give a bit of reassurance, they're just a normal physical reaction without meaning, you can treat it as a misfire but I wouldn't say that's the best way to go about it. There is one way of looking at it that helped me, but it does require a healthy amount of courage. It is accepting the possibility that you might do harm to someone (or harm your values and do irreversible "moral" damage, which is a common fear for people with these themes) on your path to recovery. It is kinda the prioritization of your recovery and life goals over the wellbeing of others. Sounds hard and maybe even irresponsible? Well, that's one indicator of good therapy for OCD. Don't read too much into my comment, your mind is probably going crazy while reading through these. I'm talking about a way to approach exposures and triggers but it's only one element of it. It primarily helped me deal with groinals. There is one podcast where Steven Phillipson talked about it in way more detail, I'll try linking it.
Thank you so much for this response. I am doing erp with a therapist and i was doing well. I experience groinals as feeling of shifting or tingling down there and for that reason i feel like it would be lying to myself to call it a groinal as i had a proper erection after reading that shit. The only thing i can tell myself is that i dont actually have erections around cousins or other family members and that i really easily get erections, so my horny 17 year old mind read about sexual activity and got aroused
@pino You know, from a deeper perspective, a lot of things in OCD are normal behaviours. The thing I mean is, compulsions aren't really that illogical when you consider the amount of distress the obsessions produce, the constant truth and reassurance seeking is really easy to understand when someone is afraid of accidentally hurting a family member and so on. Of course these spiral into oblivion and can seriously affect ones quality of life but the thing that is really different from other people are the frequency and intensity of these error messages. I would say that they really are a product of a misfiring amygdala (or whatever part of the brain the more educated claim, not important). And it's happening in your own brain, it's not like you can sit aside and just ignore the whole thing. The point is, through treatment we are learning to manage our symptoms and minimise our suffering. We are trying to get closer to "normal" brains. We can't do much about the error signals but we can manage our responses and indirectly affect the intensity and frequency of those misfires (and of course learning to deal with the many other things OCD throws our way) I'm writing this because you commented that you don't get groinals areound family members. One can see that you are probably testing yourself (probably mentally checking for signs of groinal when close to your family members) , ruminating about it and treating the thoughts as if they have some meaning. Nothing to be ashamed of, it's your ocd working against you. If someone without OCD had a thought "Oh my sisters ass looks nice today" or "That 9 year olds face reminds me of my ex, she even wears the same colors" they would probably automatically treat it as irrelevant, forgetting the thought in a second or two. You could ask them what thought they just had and they probably wouldn't even remember the thought. You should strive for living your life as if the irrelevance of these thoughts was already understood. It's really, really hard, but you will eventually be able to. Because it's just a error message that someone without OCD would maybe spend a second or two on and you're only tackling these themes because of some imbalance in your brain, the rationalizing, truth-seeking, evidence collecting is only adding unneeded importance to these misfires. One thing others often forget in these comments, I'm just giving you pointers from my perspective, experience and knowledge. Follow your therapists advice, he/she should be your primary mentor in tackling your OCD.
I'm really struggt with this theme today as well. It's my least favourite by far
But how am i gonna forgive myself or justify this..
Yeah I hate the groinal too. Mine gets mixed in with real event OCD which makes it really hard
I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a chomo... I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... Like I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I’m getting intrusive thoughts of people telling me I’m a chomo, or people telling me to turn myself in… 😭😭😭 I don’t ever want to ever be a chomo or a P in anyway shape or form 😭😭😭 I don’t ever want to ever harm a kid in any shape or form 😭😭😭 I don’t ever want to ever be attracted to kids in any way shape or form… 😭😭😭
Hi! I would like to give you the best advice that I gave to myself. We can't control our thoughts, our emotions, or our physical reactions. Even if you feel sexually aroused by a minor. OCD can be really mining, but it teaches us that what is important are not the thoughts that cross our minds, but our behaviour. You are so concerned of hurting someone. How could that make you a bad person?
I understand that sentiment but im not really concerned that i would do somethinf, i know i wouldnt. I just feel like a sexual deviant. That was not just a groinal response that was a proper erection. I cant even end myself either because of my family
It might be worth mentioning my biggest fear is groinal responses
Ever heard of what you resist, persist? You getting a boner was due to the anxiety of avoiding the possibility of it happening. You brain in response made possible what you're afraid off. I can't really explain it clearly but yeah, it basically means nothing, especially since you hate it.
I'm 17 years old I struggle with addiction I have a problem when I masterbate I have intrusive thoughts idk if I think them I'm so scared also back then I know when I was younger I looked at obscure things hentai all that my idk what to do even I feel like I'm a monster or im a bad person I need help I feel so distraught I feel like I can't live life to the fullest anymore even from last year I looked at content that was animated but it had a character in it that was underage I felt so ashamed and felt like a monster I had a compulsion to check it only to find out they are not around my age range idk what to do I probably sound like a freak I'm sorry I'm always trying to replay my memory and try to remember my intention and what I was doing how I come across how I was doing a action yk all that
Ive dealt with pocd for a very long time now and it gets more real as time goes on. I was watching a movie and I’ve read the books so I knew there was a kiss scene coming up.The actors and their characters are children but I was basically looking forward to the scene. Then as they were kissing, it looked kind of weird and mechanical because again the actor was technically still a child. And I let myself indulge and enjoy it, of how someone young was doing something sexual and adult like. Idk I feel like a fuckikg creep but I don’t WANT this. There was nothing intrusive about this, it’s just something creepy that I’ve done. I keep ruminating about it but still. I don’t identify myself by this mistake but it still sucks. My mind then went to children that I know, one girl and one boy, and them separately doing sexual things for the first time and navigating that and it feels like I like it but I don’t. It’s not as real as the movie scene because the fact I enjoyed the scene WAS real but it’s still stressing me out.
I am a girl's in my twenties. I got diagnosed with OCD last year. I have a boyfriend, sadly we're long distance right now. I've liked boys all my life. It's very difficult to sustain intimacy in a long distance relationship. Sometimes I have intimate calls with my boyfriend and it's nice. Other times, however, (and I am not proud of it) I do watch porn. I started watching porn when I was 16. I've tried to quit it many times but every couple of weeks I go back to it. And as everyone knows, one of the MANY problems with it is that your brain will always ask for more. More taboo things, more explicit things. I have a daddy kink. I've roleplayed with my boyfriend and watched porn of this kink. Now, the thing is that my brain keeps telling me that I won't orgasm unless I think of little girls being ab*sed. I've never looked for that on the internet, I never want to either. I am under EXTREME DISTRESS, because what my brain tells me feels SO REAL, and it's like my pleasure gets blocked and that contributes to me thinking my brain must be right. It wasn't like this before. I want to go back. I'm scared it will be like this forever now.
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