- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve had those same exact feelings! And something that I’ve realized that helps, is shrugging them off. Doing exactly the opposite of what every instinct in your body is telling you to do (fight them). When you show them that they have no weight, no importance, they cower. You starve them. And then eventually, they have absolutely no control over you.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m so sorry @JM1998! I totally understand the fear and the feeling that everything you’ve ever wanted could be lost. A feeling is not the truth however, we should hold onto that.
- Date posted
- 6y
Leah, I understand you 100%. Because, all I’ve ever wanted was a wife one day, specifically my beautiful girlfriend of almost 3 years, I hope that day does come, and yes, I want kids with her, I want to travel with her, and grow old with her. Then all of a sudden, I’m 20 years old and my mind has gone broken. I’m triggered by a coworker and I can’t even look at him in the eye. I’ve had terrible OCD anxiety moments at work. This has happened since January. Im just scared about all this. It has made me question everything.
- Date posted
- 6y
I know. It still makes me doubt everything. Automatically
- Date posted
- 6y
Look, I just want my babygirl, my girlfriend, and this has made me doubt everything. Before, I loved saying that, now it just feels like I’m a liar.
- Date posted
- 6y
you are completely right. thanks for that
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for understanding! @??? And of course- that’s what makes this the ‘doubting disease’ @JM1998, I totally get you.
- Date posted
- 6y
I think it’s important to know that 1. Sexual orientation is a spectrum and that you can accept the uncertainty of not knowing where you are exactly on that spectrum if you ask most people about how they really know what their sexual orientation is they will give a vague answer “I just know” In reality they are not more certain then you they just haven’t been bullied by the OCD monster into doubting themselves. You don’t have to chase the fleeting feeling of certainty there more you try grab into the further away it will move 2 the content of ocd is irrelevant, it’s fake news. This is evident but the fact that ocd is always changing the content to whatever is most scary in your life right now hence why who have had multiple obsessions. Also remember you are an expert at getting over obsessions I am guessing the old obsessions have largely faded into the background and have been replaced hocd how did you start to let go of the old ones? For me it has been accepting that thoughts are just thoughts not secret messages about my secret desires and nature and that I can handle uncertainty in life regardless of the ocd content. The reason hocd is painful isn’t because you are homophobic it because it feels like a threat to your sense of self I.e who you thought you were
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes I totally agree to that @idont241. And yea that is how I handled previous intrusive thoughts, this one has just hit me harder with things like PMS and stress of college and general rise in anxiety levels. Thank you for the tips though!:)
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for that @chai, that genuinely made me feel so happy. And thank you so much for understanding as well, one of my fears is my being misunderstood. ?❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
Alright, so ever since i was born (im 15 soon 16) i was always so sure in my sexuality, i never doubted my straightness. I always have wanted to have kids in the future and get a wife, im pretty skinny so and im un confident and i dont have that great self esteem. My freind showed me porn at the age of 10 and from there on ive watched porn. when i started to get into more hardcore porn like incest and nasty shit like that, thats when i started to get HOCD, i dont watch it that much anymore but i believe ive fapped my self to oblivan im talkin like 8 times a day sometimes but at least 2 a day. 7 months ago i got HOCD and its made me insecure in my sexuality and its made me loose my dezire to get a girl or get kids, wich is very sad for me and depressing. I feel kinda numb and its made me feel bi and asexual. I dont know if ill revert back to my true self or if its my puberty changing me or my sexuality or if ive been in deep denial my whole life but didnt have the slightest clue.
- Date posted
- 5y
Bro I know I’m going through the same thing , I’m a girl , and I’ve always had desires of being with a guy and everything but all my dreams and desires have slowly gone away . I’m definitely starting to feel like I’m bi or asexual like I literally have no attraction towards anyone anymore . It really is depressing and sad . I’m not sure what to do anymore. Ik you wrote that a while ago but hopefully you’re doing a lot better now.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 18w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 12w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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