- Date posted
- 3y
Rocd
I really need someone’s opinion on this, I was reading through some of the rocd posts on this app and It of course triggered me but to start off I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, we are both in high school and before I met him I had a really unhealthy relationship with the idea of love and the obsession behind it. I’ve always wanted a life partner as long as I can remember and before meeting my boyfriend I would mess around and essentially ride the love high of the first few weeks with a guy, get bored, and then dump them. I started dating my current boyfriend right before the pandemic started and I was actually planning on breaking up with him then because that love high was “gone”. Then the pandemic hit and I was essentially forced to put that on hold and I actually got to know my boyfriend properly past all the infatuation and I don’t know how but I got so extremely lucky in the fact that he is one of the most kind, selfless, and wonderful people I have ever met, and I can confidently say he is not only a lovely boyfriend, but my best friend as well. I come from a bit of a damaged household and I’ll still get that urge to break up with him sometimes, and unfortunately my ocd is pretty awful sometimes and I worry that I’m too codependent on him or that we aren’t healthy and so on. Occasionally we’ll have fights (most of them are instigated by some sort of element of the ocd so I start freaking out and unfortunately spin it on him before I realize, getting better t recognizing it though) and my brain’ll go “you should just break up with him and save yourself the trouble” and of course I don’t want that but then we’ve in the past gotten really close to that happening cause I’ll say that to him and everytime he’d just say “come on, you know what’s happening right now” and I’d only stop myself because of the fact that I really really don’t want to break up with him but my brain will tell me to. Basically, in a nutshell, I’m freaking out right now thinking that I have an unhealthy dependency on him and that I HAVE to break up with him cause it’s not “right” or something like that. I just really really would like some help with this right now as I’m terrified that I actually should break up with him