Religious trauma and wanting to leave the church

One thing I’ve never understood is the whole „Atheists-hell, Catholics- heaven” thing. People and their stories are very different and the reasons why they believe or not vary and this black and white thinking really upset me. I’ve never asked for being abused and being left alone with OCD for years, and I’m not looking forward for spending eternity in hell, really. Thank you for reading my post and responding, though. I think I’ll look into that Instagram account you’ve send.

Thank you for responding. I’m both sorry and relieved to hear others are going through the same thing as me. As for the afterlife thing, I got triggered by a comment that said basically „Christians heaven, atheists hell” stuff. I’ve written the same thing in my other response for this post, but aren’t people and their stories different? I mean, people believe or not for different reasons and if God is going to use that black and white logic in the judgement day, then it doesn’t scream „loving father” to me...

@unusually Yeah, I think I know what you mean, and I resonate with the difficulties of that. My understanding from Protestant Christianity is that Christians are “saved by grace through faith” [Eph. 2:8-9]. As for the often-heard expression “loving father”, God is only a father to those who accept Jesus through faith: “What is a Christian? The question can be answered in many ways, but the richest answer I know is that a Christian is one who has God as Father. But cannot this be said of every person, Christian or not? Emphatically no! The idea that all are children of God is not found in the Bible anywhere. […] The gift of son ship to God becomes ours not through being born, but through being born again [i.e. by grace through faith in Jesus].” - J.I. Packer, Knowing God. So, in Christianity, God is a loving father to his children (i.e. those that believe), but not everyone else. Protestant theologians do talk about “common grace” (i.e. good things in life even to those who do not believe), but they are emphatic that “common grace” does not save non-believers from hell. Obviously I struggle with how loving this is of God, as I think you do too in your comment. How could a loving God send non-believers (with different life experiences) to hell? What about those who have never heard about Jesus before? I recall watching a YouTube clip where Presbyterian [protestant] pastor Timothy Keller said that faith in Jesus is the only way he knows of to heaven. If there is a back door for people who’ve never heard, he doesn’t know. But Keller has faith that God will do what is right in every case. I struggle too with some Catholics who believe that all Protestants are going to hell, while some Protestants believe Roman Catholics are going to hell. I don’t understand why the Bible is not written in a less ambiguous manner. I think we’re left with making our own judgements of who/what we want to follow. There’s tensions, for sure. I definitely don’t have all the answers. Here we are together 🤷🏻‍♂️

@SleeplessWhite This is an excellent reflection, and your struggle is valid. I come from a secular upbringing and came to know Jesus at age 17. I am now 28. I struggled with the Bible for years and continue to struggle with it. Many times I wanted to throw it into the trash or do despicable horrific things to it. I did not understand why so many others who called themselves Christians did not feel this way as well. If one takes an honest thorough look at the Bible, it is full of hard sayings and teachings. It is why I understand why so many people would rather live life as an agnostic or an atheist. I have been there. Keep struggling. It is okay to struggle with this and seek answers to life’s hardest questions. Many people would say you can’t come to the God of scripture with these because it’s “irreverent” or whatever but I disagree. Just look at the Psalms. Each of us has their own spiritual journey, whatever that may be. It is very unique to each of us. Seek to be patient with yourself. I know questions like these are hard to wrestle with, let alone living with a debilitating disorder like OCD.

@SleeplessWhite I was told people who have never heard about Jesus, but lived good lives and followed their morals are saved anyway. As for the argument between Roman Catcholics and Protestants, they still believe in the same God, right? I don’t really get where the problem is, then.

@Flamewheel Yeah, I’m also really surprised when I see people who thrive in their religion... Like, how? What Psalms say about struggling to come to God?

@unusually Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t’ve mentioned this tension: how Protestant and Catholic theologians seem to differ on what is requires for salvation, and how I find it annoying. Some seem to believe what you’re saying too though, that both Catholics and Protestants are saved, but others differ. Just another source of uncertainty I don’t like.

@unusually I think most people don’t think about their religion as deeply as others. They focus on the good stuff of forgiveness and love that is often emphasized in preaching, rather than dwelling on the wrath and judgement. I think there’s a reason preachers give the gospel the last word in almost every service. I think @Flamewheel is referring to Psalms that seem to question God, perhaps Psalm 13:1-2 would be an example of this.

@SleeplessWhite Agreed. I tend to hold a view like Keller’s, but I really dislike how some people of Protestant traditions think there are no saved Catholics at all. Really, all that is required of a Christian is to assent on a heart level to the essentials, as outlined in something like the Apostle’s Creed. Everything else, even if it may be important to some degree, is secondary. For example, baptism is important, but one doesn’t have to have had the experience of baptism to be saved. An example of this is one of the thieves crucified next to Jesus on the cross. He turned to Jesus and repented, and according to scripture, Jesus saved him. But I imagine he had no grand theological understanding or whatever. The difference between now and then is that we have the entirety of the Bible. Saints of old like Abraham didn’t even have the law of Moses, but scripture asserts that he still belonged to God. According to the account he believed God and sought to follow what was revealed to him, and God credited him as righteous. The Bible is most definitely a peculiar book. One can choose to believe or not believe everything it says, but I do think it is important for everyone at some point to read it at least as literature or to help understand the impact it has had on world history.

@SleeplessWhite I also don’t like this dispute between them, it’s so confusing

@SleeplessWhite I’ll check these Psalms out, thanks!

@Flamewheel I agree with you. One girl I know is from an Orthodox Church but where I live, the majority of people are Roman Catholic. She told us one time how she had a Communion at Roman Catholic church since there are so few Orthodox Churches. When she told about it to her pastor, he literally told her that she committed apostasy. As for reading the Bible, some stories from it are actually very interesting. We used to read them at school (it was secular, by the way) and I enjoyed them, my favourite one is definitely the Song of Solomon.