I just got out of a friendship with narcissist and I wonder if these people take advantage of those with OCD because we are trusting and kind? Obviously I understand NPD is also a mental illness, but hurting people is never okay!
I’ve dealt with one after another and excusing their behavior is only further self-harming. You have to protect yourself: overpower them by cutting them off and keeping your distance no matter what. I still feel sympathy for the narcissists that have come in and out of my life, but I also had to completely separate from them to preserve my well being.
That's true I definitely wasn't trying to excuse a narcissist behavior just all together I'm kind of disgusted by narcissist and I do understand like I said the post that they have had child a trauma or they've had something really difficult happen it doesn't give them the excuse to hurt other people or to abuse other people. Have you had experience with covert narcissist those are harder to detect because they don't show those hours behaviors unless you're alone with them rather than like in a big group?
@delicatedaisy22 Yes. Multiple times I’ve been a target of that. I had to learn that they’ll never change, and the best thing to do is just get away. Other people typically side with the narcissist/psychopath in a given situation so it’s best to let them learn for themselves (once the narcissist no longer has you, they move on to the next person).
@cmac1339 I agree with you I realize that too. It was just someone who lived in my residence hall and we had a bunch of classes together so it was harder to distance from her...
@delicatedaisy22 who the post is about
My dad shows narcissistic behavior but not in the stereotypical way. It’ll come disguised in acting like a good person. It has taken me years to feel free from his psychological grip on me. I wasn’t aware of it, but my OCD symptoms worsened when I was around him. We’d have a conversation where he’d try to guilt trip me and I’d spend hours compulsing over what I may have done wrong in the conversation since my obsessive fears have always revolved around morality. I had to go through therapy for his occasional verbal/emotional abuse of me first before even tackling the OCD. Learning to establish boundaries is very important. But putting them into place can be a scary process, even though it’s healthy for you and even for the other person in the long run. You might want to try looking into something called dialectical behavioral therapy to help with this. Obviously it’s always best to ultimately go to a professional but there are also helpful books out there. In the psychology section you’ll probably find books on dealing with narcissists too.
Thank you! I'll definitely try that out. I'm sorry you had to go through that. The girl who I was friends with made it so I couldn't trust her anymore I ended our friendship but I was terrified to because of her smearing my name. It feels really nice to talk about this with someone thank you for sharing 💜
I've done some pretty extensive research on narcissists now probably due to OCD but now at least I know who to avoid and stay away from and you're totally right about boundaries I realize it's important to establish those in friendships
I was doing some research and saw about the narcissistic traits that OCD can create. Is this after the person knows they have OCD? Because I always knew I had it. But it was the classic one, with little quirks. Years later I developed false memory and intrusive thoughts whit my present theme. I was reading this because I was thinking about attraction. And I think I'm only attracted to two people in this life. But I remember from times by I had the feeling to please people. Without any interest and without even having the intention to do it, it was very automatic. So I was constantly focusing on how I was apparently being. I never acted like I was interested, but it was always like I was dealing with people's focuses. To tell you the truth, I've noticed that I do this even in other social interactions. I feel like I'm being watched all the time and so I have to act the way I'd like to be seen, like a sweet and delicate person. To be honest, I thought it had to do with my childhood issues because I was very careless and that got me bullied a lot when I was little kid. So I thought I was super focused on my appearance because of that. And I thought that the agaradar came as a consequence precisely because I was always seen as a grotesque girl because I took little care of myself. I even remember that the compliment that made me happiest was when someone said I was delicate. It made sense to me that it really was that. But after researching more, I realized that there are a lot of impulsive and repetitive things in my actions. And never with any intention. But in a very strange way. So much so that when I was younger I swore that I had some kind of personality disorder because it was very common to act one way one day and another way the next day. Maybe I was just an unstable teenager? Thank u for the help!
recently ive been worrying that im ''secretly'' a narcissist and that im accidentally hurting all of my friends. it really doesnt help that i do relate a bit to some narcisstic traits like having an unstable ego/''needing'' validation, although i suspect it comes from a different source for me (like OCD, maybe?). it also hurts because ive been trying to understand more stigmatized disorders like NPD more and learning more about them so that i don't add to the demonization, but i feel like doing so has also instilled the fear into me that im accidentally harming people i care about or that im not actually a ''good person'' like how i like to think of myself
Hi, I feel so creepy with losing connection with one of my closest people in my life, my two daughters who grew up with me during the years I was hiding my ocd. I feel they are seeing me as a narcissistic person instead of taking in consideration that I collapsed in the last part of their teenage years due to so severe ocd that I took my self out of the home to "protect them" ad I was convinced people would be damaged if they came close to me. Also that I never considered me as valuable to them. I felt sorry for them that I were their mother during their entire childhood. In their teenage years I was not available, drowning my self in work avoiding by all costs my compulsive thoughts and the horror I was dealing with. Today they see me as a mother who left them, not taking care of them and only thinking about my self. They never sat down with me after the diagnosis was clear in 2023, and they took.active distance to me in 2018. They sometimes talk to me, like once a year, in Christmas at my parents house, but never take initiative to have contact. I can't deal with it on an emotional level, I feel totally numbed. I love them more than anything in the world and did everything I could since they where born up to the time when my ocd really started to take a toll on me and I withdraw more and more from the familiy. I don't know how to handle because it seems that they think I am a mother who doesn't care or did care, but my ocd is ignored and it feels as if they see it as an excuse for bad behavior. I don't know, it's my guessing. I am not trying to make them change any of their ideas about their childhood and the needs I could not meet. I am so sorry about it. What I can't understand is that they refuse to deal with the fact that I been ill. We are a big resourceful family, but this part of my ocd is hidden back my role as the creative, crazy black sheep, and on top of it all I have somehow succeeded in my profession at the years where I "disappeared ", so it makes it even harder to explain that I spent between 4 and 24 hours on my ocd each day. It's just that I was running my own business which required me and just me as the producer of my product . If I did not function some days or weeks no-one knew as long as I delivered what I was suppose to. In the end I didn't do that either, but for long time I managed against all odds and the he'll of my horrible pure ocd. Anyone who can relate I appreciate all kinds of responses to this. I didn't even speak with my daughters on my birthday or theirs. They don't want to talk to me. For a while I thought things was better, but then it suddenly became worse after a dinner in my parents home when the family was gathered. I don't have any clue about why and then they said through my father and mother that they don't want to talk with me. If I had been held hostage by a gerilja in a jungle for ten years and suddenly was released to come home after ten years, everyone would be happy on my behalf. This is how it feels to have got treatment for my ocd, which wad undiagnosed for 28 years. I have a new life already, just 2 and a half years in to treatment. But I lost my children. It feels so painful that I can't feel it. And I wish they could know the truth about my story.
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