It feels like whatever I do,it’s a project for me

I feel like if I spend time with anyone im always failing everyone else. A lot of people depend on me and want my time. I feel like I can't be enough and it makes me feel like I deserve to be alone. Does anyone ever feel like this?

I feel like I’ve lost who I am , even since my depression and ocd started. I don’t even know what I like anymore:(( I doubt everything I think and it’s so draining because I just want to feel like my old self again😭 I feel like I have no motivation to get better which is bothering me so much because I want too but something is holding me back from doing what I need to do :/ with all my thoughts and doubts , I feel like I can’t trust myself . I don’t know if I’m the only one that feels this much pain

I keep putting myself out there and trying things that are important to me like making would you rather youtube videos and videos about OCD but I keep failing. It’s like no one cares. I have felt like this my whole life. It’s so hard to keep trying but my non OCD brain is extremely optimistic so I keep going. I feel like it’s better to try and fail than never have tried but I also feel like maybe I’m wasting my time. Thoughts? But no reassurance. Thanks loves