- Username
- schultzvicki@sbcglobal.net
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I struggle with this daily so I understand. My obsession is “what if I said something wrong or imperfectly?” I’d say telling your son how you felt is exposure but because you’re reviewing your conversation in your mind, it actually wasn’t truly ERP. For ERP to work there has to be the “response prevention” part. It’s really, really hard I know. I still daily compulse over things I say and do. But essentially ERP would be saying something imperfectly and allowing the uncertainty to remain that you didn’t say it imperfectly while refraining from reviewing. Feeling the anxiety is key. It’s very hard work and one doesn’t just stop compulsing over night. It’s important that ERP is challenging but manageable. If you can’t afford therapy (like I can’t afford it anymore tbh) there are some helpful books out there. I like Jonathan Grayson’s “Freedom from Obsessive-Compulsive Disoder”. There are loads others too. The IOCDF website has a plethora of resources.
First, I applaud you for expressing yourself to your son-in-law. That is a difficult thing to do without OCD - add in OCD and it becomes more difficult. I hear you when you say that you worry you did not express yourself correctly - and that certainly sounds like OCD - you are seeking certainty that you expressed yourself correctly, and perhaps you did, and perhaps you did not - you cannot know for sure, and as much as it is difficult to hear, it is the truth. If I were doing ERP on this particular scenario, I would say that the important thing is that I expressed myself, I made myself heard, and I don't need to know if I did it "right" or "wrong" - and this is subjective to each person anyway - and that I am not going to entertain OCD to try and figure it out. The feelings have been expressed, whatever way is irrelevant and I am going to go on with my day. Having said that, it is not easy to do, but we can choose to compulse or not compulse. What we cannot choose is the intrusive thought - that is beyond our control. I hope this help you - also practice self-compassion and non-judgment toward yourself - you are human and you are the best version of you there is.
Thank You for your comments—very helpful. So it is okay to feel anxiety ??? I see that compulsion is a choice—it’s such a habit. It is all day with me. I need to deal with reality right?
It’s actually crucial to feel anxiety. If you are doing an exposure and feeling anxious, you can be assured you are doing something right.
Can someone explain to me why reassurance is bad for OCD?? I often have overwhelming anxiety that my boyfriend is upset with me. So I will sometimes ask him if we’re good. Even though nothing has happened to suggest anything is wrong. He knows I have terrible anxiety so he never makes me feel bad for asking. And as soon as I’ve asked I feel better.
I keep obsessing that my boyfriend is disappointed in me / annoyed for a situation that happened and I keep asking for reassurance which he keeps providing. I know I shouldn’t ask as the ocd wants that, and it’s going in circles. Does anyone have any advice on what to do to get over the discomfort ? My ocd literally anytime there is an awkward moment or argument gives me the thought see things are ruined you ruined them and now they’ll never ever be the same. But my partner moves on quickly and says it was no big deal. Sitting with the anxiety and doing nothing isn’t working , I keep giving into reassurance seeking....I have tried distract skills like tv , internet , music, but then without fail by the end of the day it’s back on my mind. Ugh ?
Hi ask in in the middle of an argument with a friend. And I'm having a major urge to seek reassurance. Like chest pain amount is anxiety level. I have failed my ERP today by trying to get reassurance but both people are aware of my OCD and rightly answered may or may not. Anyone have tips on how to get through this? I thought I was on the other side of this but OCD is raring up.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond