- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I struggle with this daily so I understand. My obsession is “what if I said something wrong or imperfectly?” I’d say telling your son how you felt is exposure but because you’re reviewing your conversation in your mind, it actually wasn’t truly ERP. For ERP to work there has to be the “response prevention” part. It’s really, really hard I know. I still daily compulse over things I say and do. But essentially ERP would be saying something imperfectly and allowing the uncertainty to remain that you didn’t say it imperfectly while refraining from reviewing. Feeling the anxiety is key. It’s very hard work and one doesn’t just stop compulsing over night. It’s important that ERP is challenging but manageable. If you can’t afford therapy (like I can’t afford it anymore tbh) there are some helpful books out there. I like Jonathan Grayson’s “Freedom from Obsessive-Compulsive Disoder”. There are loads others too. The IOCDF website has a plethora of resources.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
First, I applaud you for expressing yourself to your son-in-law. That is a difficult thing to do without OCD - add in OCD and it becomes more difficult. I hear you when you say that you worry you did not express yourself correctly - and that certainly sounds like OCD - you are seeking certainty that you expressed yourself correctly, and perhaps you did, and perhaps you did not - you cannot know for sure, and as much as it is difficult to hear, it is the truth. If I were doing ERP on this particular scenario, I would say that the important thing is that I expressed myself, I made myself heard, and I don't need to know if I did it "right" or "wrong" - and this is subjective to each person anyway - and that I am not going to entertain OCD to try and figure it out. The feelings have been expressed, whatever way is irrelevant and I am going to go on with my day. Having said that, it is not easy to do, but we can choose to compulse or not compulse. What we cannot choose is the intrusive thought - that is beyond our control. I hope this help you - also practice self-compassion and non-judgment toward yourself - you are human and you are the best version of you there is.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank You for your comments—very helpful. So it is okay to feel anxiety ??? I see that compulsion is a choice—it’s such a habit. It is all day with me. I need to deal with reality right?
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s actually crucial to feel anxiety. If you are doing an exposure and feeling anxious, you can be assured you are doing something right.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 25w
I find while doing exposures, rarely does my anxiety lessen. It usually amps up and stays that way for the remainder of the day. I could be having a fairly decent day, but dutifully do my exposures and then the rest of my day is anxiety filled. I guess that’s just how it is now? Also, I’m wondering if my therapist even believes I have OCD. I totally understand my therapist cannot provide reassurance. But it’s to the point it seems my therapist acts like I actually did the thing I fear. I feel so isolated.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
I am hurting so much right now. I feel sad and disgusted with myself that I would even worry about these things (pocd). What kind of a human even thinks that and has doubts about that?? Definitely not one that’s rational or mentally sane. That kind of stuff should be a no brainer so why do I worry about it so much and what does it say about me? I feel sick and disgusted and can’t stop crying over it. I just feel so defeated like I want to disappear. I started ERP and every time I resist reassuring myself it comes back at me from every angle. I hate this so much.
- Date posted
- 23w
Hi this is my first time posting on here. I wasn't sure if I should because I want to make sure I'm not seeking reassurance because I heard that makes ocd worse. I don't want to talk about what my ocd problem was, but basically I was really upset about a religious ocd problem that I know isn't true. I'm feeling a lot better about it now, but when it was bad I decided to try and get better on my own. I read about ERP therapy and how you're supposed to make a list of your ocd problems, from least distressing to most. So I wrote them down on two pieces of paper. At first I started with the simple ones, like looking for spiders before leaving the room. I have a tendency to look for spiders before leaving a room but lately I've been trying not to anymore. Then I decided to try and do one of the hard things. It was a religious ocd problem. I decided to start simple, and just write the problem down on a piece of paper. So I went downstairs and got some paper. But then I thought, oh no, my ocd is probably not going to like this. What do I do with the paper once I write it down? If I think what I wrote down is bad and going to upset God and I will go to hell, (even though I know logically it's not), my ocd is probably going to freak out if I throw away the paper. It probably won't calm down unless I erase it. So I just decided to not write it down on a paper, and just type it on my phone instead. So I did, I typed it on my phone. So, even though I didn't write anything down on the paper, now it feels like that peice of paper is bad. I feel like it's connected to the problem I was having, and I was so upset I called my mom crying asking her what to do. Eventually I decided to just put the paper back with the rest of the paper downstairs, but I'm still upset. I feel like I have to throw away all the paper downstairs, the pencil I was going to use to write down the problem, and the eraser I was going to use in case I needed to erase anything. It feels like if I use any of those items I will make God angry and go to hell. I know I shouldn't do this though, so I'm not going to. I don't know what to do with the papers where I wrote down my ocd problems. They are on my desk and I'm too afraid to move them. And if I put them in my desk I'm afraid they will get mixed up with other papers. I guess I can do whatever I want with them. I think I'll put them in a folder or binder and if I make any more ocd papers I can just put them in there. I'm just really confused on how to move forward. Right now, I'm too afraid to use the papers, pencil, or eraser for anything. I feel like I can't write on them, draw on them, or anything. It's even making me feel like I can't make digital art. It's making me feel like I can't do a lot of things. I guess what I have to do is just do whatever I want to, because I know the ocd isn't true and doesn't make sense.
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