- Date posted
- 2y ago
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I struggle with this daily so I understand. My obsession is “what if I said something wrong or imperfectly?” I’d say telling your son how you felt is exposure but because you’re reviewing your conversation in your mind, it actually wasn’t truly ERP. For ERP to work there has to be the “response prevention” part. It’s really, really hard I know. I still daily compulse over things I say and do. But essentially ERP would be saying something imperfectly and allowing the uncertainty to remain that you didn’t say it imperfectly while refraining from reviewing. Feeling the anxiety is key. It’s very hard work and one doesn’t just stop compulsing over night. It’s important that ERP is challenging but manageable. If you can’t afford therapy (like I can’t afford it anymore tbh) there are some helpful books out there. I like Jonathan Grayson’s “Freedom from Obsessive-Compulsive Disoder”. There are loads others too. The IOCDF website has a plethora of resources.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
First, I applaud you for expressing yourself to your son-in-law. That is a difficult thing to do without OCD - add in OCD and it becomes more difficult. I hear you when you say that you worry you did not express yourself correctly - and that certainly sounds like OCD - you are seeking certainty that you expressed yourself correctly, and perhaps you did, and perhaps you did not - you cannot know for sure, and as much as it is difficult to hear, it is the truth. If I were doing ERP on this particular scenario, I would say that the important thing is that I expressed myself, I made myself heard, and I don't need to know if I did it "right" or "wrong" - and this is subjective to each person anyway - and that I am not going to entertain OCD to try and figure it out. The feelings have been expressed, whatever way is irrelevant and I am going to go on with my day. Having said that, it is not easy to do, but we can choose to compulse or not compulse. What we cannot choose is the intrusive thought - that is beyond our control. I hope this help you - also practice self-compassion and non-judgment toward yourself - you are human and you are the best version of you there is.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Thank You for your comments—very helpful. So it is okay to feel anxiety ??? I see that compulsion is a choice—it’s such a habit. It is all day with me. I need to deal with reality right?
- Date posted
- 2y ago
It’s actually crucial to feel anxiety. If you are doing an exposure and feeling anxious, you can be assured you are doing something right.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w ago
i would like some advice please and i didn't get any responses 😭.. apologies for reposting but just need some thoughts on this 🥲 //// after frustrations with erp not working, i intentionally brought up the intrusive mental images as well as sensations during an exposure in trying to practice desensitizing myself to them. but now im scared that me purposefully bringing on the images and especially the disturbing outward sensations means that i did something bad or acted on my thought since i took the action to purposefully create and bring the disturbing intrusive images and thoughts and feelings. now it feels like not just a fear but reality. and my anxiety levels are just too much. i'm just feeling terrible and would like some thoughts or support
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
- Date posted
- 4w ago
When I was a child, before I knew this was OCD, I struggled with constant "magical thinking" compulsions (don't step on the crack or mom's back will actually break, etc). When I later learned this was OCD, it almost immediately solved it. Any time I got a magical thought, I would say to myself "that's just an OCD thought. ignore it." and it just stopped coming! Like seriously it fixed the magical thinking stuff forever. But of course the OCD has resurfaced in other ways. So naturally, I've tried to use the same strategy since I had so much success with it previously. But I wonder sometimes if telling myself "that's just OCD" is almost functioning as a reassurance compulsion? I hate how meta this gets. For example, I have ROCD that comes and goes. So sometimes I'll get a thought like "what if i'm still in love with my ex?" and then I'll tell myself "that's obviously just an ROCD thought" and will feel relief, almost like reassurance. But it comes back. So is telling myself that it's OCD a reassurance compulsion ?? It's just so weird because it worked so perfectly as a kid with the magical thinking thing.
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