OCD?? Not sure, please help me !!

I relate to a lot of people on here but I’m not sure if I’m faking or it’s just Tendencies. I struggle a lot with numbers and evenness. I hate odd numbers. My freshman year of high school I sue to think of it was a bad day, something and would happen. Every number I interact with has to be even. If something I do isn’t even then I make up ways in my head for it to be even. Certain things have to grouped a weird and sorted way. I feel responsible for everyone lives I care about. I feel as if I don’t say or look to see if they’re ok, it’s my fault something and would happen to them. I always over analyze everything. Ex: if I don’t tell my sister to be safe , I feel like something bad would terribly happen. I hate uncomfortable environments where I feel like everything has to be perfect but when I’m at home I sometimes feel safe. I work at food stand where I’m a supervisor. If everything isn’t perfect or clean I get really stressed because if it isn’t, I have this sense of compulsion. Im constantly googling things I shouldn’t be. A lot times I’m confused on my sexuality because of my thoughts and images. I feel like my moms death was my fault because I didn’t give her a kidney. It took a major tool on me. I’m constantly saying things I don’t mean to say and I can’t help it. If I don’t say it , something will happen or they would think something bad about me. I’m always having a hard time remembering certain events or things. I can only remember things I think have a significance. I’m always replaying things out in my head and obsessing over them. I just need help.