Not to reassure everyone, but it is ocd. Trust that. Nothing within yourself is coming to take the thing you value/know about you. You know yourself the best. If something doesn’t feel right, makes you depressed, then it probably isn’t what you want. When you have the thoughts, accepting them is great, but remember that you have control over your actions. It’s all about trusting yourself. I’m finding it super helpful to do self affirmations. Loving the skin and body I’m in so that I don’t continue to look at myself and think oh I look like a boy or I look like a lesbian. Accept yourself, don’t be mad at yourself. If you’re scared that accepting yourself means you will turn out to be something you don’t want to be, guess what, it’s ocd. You have control of your actions. You will find something meant for you when it feels right. You don’t have to dig deeper to find your answers. Your answers aren’t coming for you, they aren’t deep inside you, they come from within when you are in a place of self love and self acceptance. You’ve got this. You can do it. Life really isn’t that scary and living, exposing yourself to your triggers, and socializing are going to help you. Do things you enjoy that actually bring you joy and not more questions.

Same

You don’t have to do anything. You are in control. You don’t have to BE anything. You don’t have to make a decision. Try saying maybe, maybe not but i don’t have to figure it out.

True, great awareness. Then when you realize you don’t feel anxious or depressed, how does that make you feel?

Are you also aware that you are checking for feelings? What would happen if you stopped asking yourself how you feel all the time?

@Cassandragoth I'm very scared in my mind is not to be attracted to women I can not swear I can not Jan at a time when I am ready to give up everything oh god I will have a miserable life I do not want to be gay to live with a man but now I feel like it does not matter and if I am not with a girl I swear that now I have lost everything but only when I look at girls I know that I love them I look at men face's body does not say anything to me and above all I do not want to do sex with a man I'm done

@mateus12 Yeah that’s really terrifying and I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I will probably be in the same headspace later today. That’s the thing with thoughts, we trust all of them, and we even take it a step further and believe all of our feelings. But how could we not trust our feelings? That’s all we have. Sure, but we’re focusing on the wrong feelings and checking for feelings to be there. It’s not helpful.

No forcing necessary. What would happen if you said maybe, maybe not, and then refused to try and figure it out? What would happen if you stopped asking yourself all the time?