Is this normal

I’ve never actually been diagnosed with OCD, but my grandfather has, and he seems to experience symptoms pretty similar to mine, and so does my dad. It took me a lot of convincing to actually write on this forum (and when you have OCD you know what a lot of convincing means haha). And basically I’m just trying to figure out if what I’m experiencing is normal. I’m really nervous about sharing my symptoms and I plan on going to pretty extensive detail of what it is. But I always beat myself up for the thoughts that pop up in my head, it’s almost as if someone else is controlling my thoughts. But enough rambling, below are examples of every “OCD tick” I can think of off the top of my head. Example 1 / Repetition; I repeat things a lot. Whether it’s in my head or if it’s a physical thing. Typically I repeat stuff because my self conscious tells me that if I don’t do it, bad things will happen. Usually it relates to negative things happening to my family members (my biggest fear, and I’ll do anything to ensure that doesn’t happen) An example of this is repeating paragraphs in my head. “Nothing will happen, everyone is safe, your family is okay, and they always will be”. Typically I repeat this anywhere from 10-500 times in my head. And what I’m saying changes as well. I don’t like doing this, but my brain tells me that if I don’t bad things will happen, when I know they won’t. Some physical examples of this is going downstairs and making sure the stove is off, or making sure the door I locked 10 minutes ago is still locked. This is a recurring thing, as in…every night. I need to do these things to make sure that my family is safe. I lock every door, every window, I make sure every gas switch, fireplace switch, etc. is off. And I even flip doorknobs to make sure doors aren’t locked, because I’m my kind a locked door could be hazardous. I choose to do all of these things, even when I know that A. Repeating things in your head doesn’t change anything, and B. Checking the door for the fifth time won’t change anything because the door is still locked. Example 2 / physical ticks; This one isn’t as bad as the other OCD things that i do, but it’s still extremely annoying and embarrassing. A lot of the time I’ll be forcing my body to do things I don’t want to do. Example: turning my head left or right while in the middle of a conversation, or rolling my eyes, or doing something with my nose, etc. This is similar to the repetitive aspects of my OCD, because in my head if I don’t do these things then something bad will happen, which I know it won’t. This is more of an annoying tick, because I feel as if people notice me doing these weird movements or whatever you might call them and think I’m weird for it. (All thought it’s not all the time). Other physical ticks include, having to touch something (x) amount of times. Having to turn a knob (x) amount of times. This goes hand and hand in my repetition tick, because usually when I “have to do something” it’s not just once. So I’ll go look out the front window 5 times because I thought I saw someone. Example 3 / repulsive thoughts; I’ve always looked at myself as a good person. Growing up I would always care for those around me. I’ve always befriended those with special needs, and donated to people who are in need, and supported the odd one out. Although, the thoughts that come into my brain make me feel otherwise. The things that I think of are genuinely just horrible. I would never, never, ever, do anything that my repulsive thoughts tell me to, but in my mind, it’s still me who is thinking of them. I don’t want to go in detail, because people will think I’m a freak. But just know, that my brain in my opinion, is not wired right. The only thing I think that is keeping me sane, is the knowledge I have for how much I love my family. I know I’m not a bad person because these people in my life mean so much to me. But then I just don’t understand how my brain can be constructing these horrible thoughts. If it wasn’t for my dad having similar symptoms and explaining what he has to me, I would probably think I’m a psychopath or something by now. But my ultimate question is: is everything I described normal for someone with OCD? How severe does my OCD sound? Abs are there methods to stop these things without medication? Thank you if you read this whole thing, and thank you even more if you decide to leave a reply. :)

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Date posted: 3y

Thank you for posting this! It takes a lot of courage to do that and I’m glad you came here. To me, every single thing you listed sounds exactly like ocd. The repetition, physical urges/tics, and intrusive thoughts are all parts of it. Most of us also get the repulsive thoughts here- they’re a huge part of ocd, but at the end of the day they are just thoughts and don’t define us. Erp teaches you to place less importance on them so eventually they cause less distress and go away. I’m definitely not a therapist, but I think you just try to access one! They have free intake calls at nocd where you can ask questions and set up an appointment. If you don’t do it with nocd, just make sure your therapist does erp! I’m sorry you’re suffering but I’m glad you found your way here! Good luck on your recovery journey

JB1020

Date posted: 3y

Hi Zach7. I am sorry you have had to deal with this. It is awesome that you are choosing to be upfront about it and share. It sounds extremely likely to me that you have OCD. The disorder is characterized by recurring "intrusive thoughts" - thoughts we don't like - that we can't get rid of - that is the "obsession" part. To alleviate the anxiety, we develop certain habits - that is the "compulsion" part. Unfortunately the compulsions help us feel less anxious in the short-term, but don't help us solve the initial problem. Exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy does. Everyone gets bad thoughts from time to time, but people with OCD tend to get stuck on them for longer and it causes more distress. Learning how to let the thoughts go and just pass by, and resisting compulsions can help a lot in the long run. Let today be the first day of your road to recovery. Take the courage that you showed in writing this and use that same courage to book an appointment with an OCD-trained therapist. Use that courage again and again to crush this disorder. Suffering in silence with OCD can be torture and you have been strong enough to endure that. Imagine what you could do with the right help and therapy. Good luck!

redmuse22

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Hello! Intrusive thoughts (which can also come as images and feelings) are the #1 thing with OCD and what are usually called "obsessions". They can be very scary and upsetting. I deal with harm ocd and for me that includes thoughts of harming my child, myself, my husband etc. I promise someone else has had the repulsive thoughts you've had. OCD likes to make us think we are alone. The ticks you describe would be "compulsions" (often shown as hand washing in most media) and can also include mental actions such as "if I think a good thought it will cancel out my bad thought" as an example. People with OCD and people without OCD all experience intrusive thoughts. What you might consider spam or junk mail. Most people ignore these thoughts naturally. Us with OCD tend to latch onto these thoughts and attribute meaning to them. Thats part of what ERP therapy helps with. Thank you for sharing with us. Its scary to share these things, but that just makes you braver for doing it.

Anonymous1486

Date posted: 18w

Is this OCD?

I’m hoping to get some feedback or hear if anyone else experiences similar things. Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot of repetitive behaviors and thoughts that feel hard to control. Some of those things are: - I often get this uneasy feeling, and if I don’t do certain things in a specific way, it just doesn’t feel "just right." - I have to wash my hands until it feels "just right," and if I try not to, I get a thought that something bad will happen if I don’t. - I dislike using public bathrooms and even shared bathrooms at home. - When I shower, I have to wear socks before stepping on the floor. If my feet touch the ground, I feel like I have to shower again. - I get hyper-fixated on cuts, worrying about them getting infected, and I avoid touching water or anything else to prevent bacteria, even if I can’t cover them with a bandaid. - I can’t use dishes that have just been washed because I think they haven’t been cleaned properly. Instead, I use the ones that have already been dried and stored. When I type (like on emails or texts), I’ll fix what I write over and over, trying to make it "just right." - I have a strange dislike for certain numbers (7, 4, and 6) and feel uncomfortable around them. - I also have to follow routines, like making my bed in a certain way, and I can’t stop until everything is in the right order. - I get stuck on intrusive thoughts, like needing to wash my hands repeatedly or constantly checking things (like if I turned off the stove) because I fear something bad will happen if I don’t. - I’ll even repeat things in my head, like words or phrases, to make the "just right" feeling go away. - Sometimes, I treat inanimate objects like they have feelings and worry about hurting them, even though I know it's not real. - I’ve always felt like I’m being watched, which causes a lot of distress. There’s more, but these are some of the main things. I feel like these thoughts and behaviors control a lot of my day, and I just can’t stop them even when I know they’re kind of irrational. Does this sound like it could be signs of OCD, or is it something else? Or just normal behavior?

FallenSun

Date posted: 5w

uhh do i have ocd-

So scared to post this not wanting to sound dramatic incase i dont have it so uh yeah lets go Ive been struggling with this ocd spiral, googling everything i can, taking stupid test that prob dont mean anything, i dont really have compulsions i think? but anyways i cant let it go unless i know. ill give list of reasons why - I get intrusive thoughts i dont want, like sexual or harm related ones, multiple times a day- Yes ik intrusive thoughts are normal so this is probably nothing. To try and give an idea on how many or how constant- when i look at something either that be a person, pet, or an object can be fictional things to- there is a high chance of a thought or mental image popping up -I feel shame and guilty about it because it goes against everything, im asexual so having these thoughts about my family or animals is really upsetting and disturbing bc why am i thinking this, it doesn't feel normal -i try and push them away by blinking, shaking my head, or just walk away from what triggered them -i spiral trying to figure out whats wrong with me for example ofc my brain thinking i have ocd and it filling my brain. or can be about physical health or other mental health disorders- -i constantly am switching between thinking i have it to im faking it. When i see symptoms i have i think, "Okay wait, i must have it" to where when i see a symptom i don't have, i tell myself. "No im just lying for attention or im being dramatic and these aren't real problems". but like rn im struggling with thinking none of this really even happened and i'm just saying things so ppl think sm wrong with me - sometiems i avoid things that trigger it- not alot but like when i get a thought about my dog when im about to pet her, i stop- and walk away becuase it might come true. -i fear something is wrong with me, wether it be my mind, body, health, personality- -im scared to open up about these thoughts becuase im scared people will thing im lying, im weird, or ill be sent to a mental hospital. -also reassuring-seeking. now this isnt a big thing to me but when i think i offended someone i have to say "sorry if i offended you" or if i think i annoyed someone i must say "sorry if i annoyed you", OR i kinda down talk myself saying im annoying, there annoyed with me, they hate me This has been nagging me for days, and i cant get it to stop- BECAUSE what if i do and i don't get it diagnosed and ill deal with this forever or whatever, ik ppl have it worse and i'm probably being dramatic, high possibility. but i'm also scared to tell a therapist bc of that same exact reason and fear of being called dramatic and its all in your head. but uhm hopefully i didn't say anything bad and didn't repeat anything.

عthan

Date posted: 4w

Lots of more mild experiences with OCD.

Hello. I joined this app because I realised my experiences might be due to OCD. I often have these really disgusting and terrible pictures of me becoming someone horrible, doing horrible things to others. These ideas really disturb me, and often in my mind, and physically sometimes, I literally scream quitely to myself, "Shut up!" Over and over until the image goes away, but unless I distract myself with something else immediately after, it comes back and gets worse. I also end up looking back on these thoughts, and being terrified that maybe I am thinking of this because it is what I truly want, so I end up desperately trying to filter my thoughts, and this ends up carrying into something like SO-OCD, even though I am confident that I am a straight male, and there is no evidence that I am not, I keep trying to prove to myself that I am straight to make the thought go away. I also get the fear that after I maybe do something and say something I know I maybe shouldn't have to someone, that when they leave, or I can't find them for a bit, they have gone to commit suicide. Likewise, I also get intrusive thoughts of me killing myself, even though I have no desire to, and this scares me a lot as well. I used to occasionally get these thoughts in chunks like maybe for 2 weeks and then I wouldn't for another few weeks, but they have gotten worse and more frequent this past semester. They are still not bad enough to actively effect my daily life and routine, but they definitely come frequently enough to distract me, disrupt what I'm doing and make me take a break, and it has dramatically effected my mood and mental state lately. Do you guys recommend any ways to deal with this, is this really severe enough to even call OCD? Would love to hear, thanks! ❤️

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