This thought has caused me extreme anxiety and I would like to know if anyone else has struggled with this. I keep having the thought that I have to tell my partner that a month ago I got aroused from an explicit video, even though I wasn't attracted to anyone specifically. I feel like I cheated on him and that if i tell him he'll leave me
People in relationships watch porn to be aroused, humans are wired to find other people attractive... it's not realistic to think you can only be attracted to one person. That is what my therapist told me, and what I tell myself, when I struggle with excessive and useless guilt.
I should say *lots* of people in relationship watch porn. It can be healthy to talk about with a partner.
Thank you, I think my brain is making this too big of a deal. You mean it is healthy to tell this to my partner?
@patatoula It doesn't sound healthy to tell him in this case, it sounds more than a compulsion to alleviate guilt. I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about, as being aroused by porn is a normal thing that many people experience. It might be healthy to just generally talk about porn use if that's something you feel comfortable with, if you want to.
@kiki_ I used to struggle with this stuff a lot. I mostly avoided pornography because of the guilt, but through exposing myself to it (lol) I was able to get over the fear that it means more than just arousal. Its not a sin or particularly meaningful. I'm not a religious person but I very much struggled with the ideas of it being cheating or even horrible to be aroused by someone other than a partner. But now, I watch porn sometimes, and me and my partner talk about it too and what we enjoy, and it feels a lot healthier to me But it's all a matter of what you want and feel comfortable with. I hope this helps
@kiki_ thank you so so much, it actually would be helpful to talk to him about it. I hope I can get rid of this horrible guilt I have right now
I have had these kind of intrusive thoughts. If i would share them (which would be a compulsion) my partner would think smg was wrong because heh? Why are you making a thing out of this?
You mean your partner wouldn't think something was wrong?
I mean that, becáuse there was nothing to be worried about, he actually started thinking what is wrong, why are you telling me this.
@Ambeert If you just talk about it casually then your partner probably won't feel that way tho.
@Ambeert yes I completely get why and that's the reason I was worried about talking to him about it
@patatoula Theres nothing wrong with watching porn. We all do it. You can share it if you want but you don't have to make a big deal out of it because its not. I think deep down you know this :)
@patatoula All I meant is don't make it so big for the both of you because there is literally nothing going on!
@patatoula I'm sorry if I made you feel like you cant share something! You can always talk about things like this with your partner but you dont have to feel or bring across the message as something you should feel guilty about ❤️❤️
@Ambeert you're so right!! don't worry you didn't make me feel like that, you've actually helped a lot by replying to my comment and I feel more normal and ready to be more open with my partner. Thank you 🥰🥰🥰
@Ambeert Exactly, ocd tends to create problems where there are none
TMI!! Hey everyone, I was coming on here to ask if anyone has experienced this before! Im in an amazing relationship with my boyfriend so in this post I wanted to ask this question because this is how it felt to me! I remembered earlier today I was watching this movie, etc. and there was this spicy scene in it (iykyk) and it got me feeling some sort of way. This has happened before especially if I’ve played a game or watched a show with some content like this. I felt really in the mood and started to imagine my boyfriend and I doing those things together and I sort of decided to (yanno, the m word) hopefully everyone understands because I just don’t like saying the word😭, but I found that every time I do that, that’s when my ocd is at its worst/peak. Every time my mind has tried to convince me I’ve cheated, when I self pleasure. I get in the mood if I think of my boyfriend and I doing those things I see in movies, shows etc, and that’s when I’ll do it, But literally I realized after I’ve done that at times my ocd is at its worst because my mind will attack me constantly asking “Is this cheating? Does this make me a horrible girlfriend?” If I self pleasure, I also want to add that I mentioned it to my boyfriend at one time and he told me it wasn’t at all and that everything is okay, but constantly I feel guilty for it and extremely horrible. Just wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this?
When I was single, I watched a lot of porn, specifically lesbian porn even though I’m straight. When I got into my current relationship I dwindled down and eventually stopped watching porn of any kind, around six or so months ago. I had a flare up recently that has caused me to question every part of myself including my sexuality and my identity, my relationship, and other things that are important and valued to me, and porn keeps popping up in all of these things. I feel like my porn usage was me cheating on my boyfriend, especially in the early parts of our relationship. I broke down to him last month about it and he said it was okay, that he forgives me, but I’m still hung up on it because I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve wronged him and that I’m a terrible person and that I need to leave him because of this. This is so excruciatingly painful. I don’t want to keep confessing over and over and over again, but I don’t want to be a dirty lying cheater, which I feel like I am.
I have this deep fear I’ll accidentally cheat on my long term partner. This fear was initially triggered a couple years ago after being at a bar with my friends where I enjoyed the attention of being flirted with by a stranger. Because of my enjoyment of receiving verbal attention, I began spiraling about what if I accidentally cheat. Since then I have made multiple confessions to my partner to seek reassurance, replayed events over and over in my head, spent hours googling/looking at reddit threads, and now I dread “bar like” situations where I know my partner won’t be around. Today I was triggered and have wasted about 4-5 hours of my day ruminating. Does anyone else with relationship ocd struggle with this fear and have any tips?
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