I’m confused an a bit angry. I met with a new therapist today and my insurance hasn’t allowed me to get someone who understands pure O and who is knowledgeable about ERP. This woman was a CBT and told me that wheneve I have an intrusive thought to deny it and tell myself that I’m a good person and to reassure myself. I tried to explain that that in itself is a compulsion for people at Pure O but she kept coming back to it. My gut is telling me she’s wrong because the times I was panicking And would try to rationalize it like she told me to the thoughts would only get worse. I told her that I used to be worried about harming people and have been listening to podcasts about serial killers as an exposure and how it’s working and I’m not having a problem with it anymore and she told me to take a break from that as if it was unhealthy. I told her I’d appreciate it to research ERP as a I left, and was willing to give her another chance but as soon as I told my parents about what she said they flipped out on me and told me I’m being picky and am unopen to options other than ERP. Am I being crazy or picky ??? I’m so confused

So I’ve been going to an ocd therapist for abt 2-3 months now and she’s starting to make me feel very nervous and anxious I even started crying, she wanted me to do exposures that were to much for me and I got rlly upset and Burt out into tears and she just didn’t say anything and just sat there for a good 10 seconds doing nothing this is starting to repeat nearly every session and I’m very frustrated should I get a new therapist or do I just be nice and tough it out?

Today I had my follow up appointment with my psychologist, I left feeling worse, I loved the psychologist I spoke to last time he was very informed and understanding, this time I got an appointment with someone who he supervises and I feel like she didn't allow me to speak, she didn't allow me to explain my thoughts or feelings, she told me I have to take my medication or she won't be able to continue helping me, which I understand but im terrified of medication I can't get over it, she said if i start the prozac and it doesn't work then I'll have to get on antipsychotics which seems a bit extreme to me considering i have no psychotic symptoms matter of fact she didn't even allow me to explain my symptoms and i feel like there's so many other antidepressants that could work before getting on antipsychotics🙁 this didn't help me at all considering the episode of ocd i just got through was about me becoming psychotic, I just feel let down and misunderstood, I almost felt as if she was mad at me for the buspar not working she said "you didn't really try it you just took it for a week so if you stopped it it's like you gave up on yourself" but it kept me up 2 nights in a row and i couldnt function from the anxiety 😞

Please help. I have felt so off/wrong all day. I constantly worry that the “bad guy” is going to get me. I have awful thoughts and I constantly want God to know that I don’t mean these thoughts. I am at a point in my therapy where I need to choose to use my ERP but it feels too scary. I then do compulsions, which makes the OCD worse, which makes me want to use ERP less. And the cycle goes on. I am currently sitting in my car crying because I feel so lost and exhausted. I’m not supposed to figure out my thoughts, but today I just went into a spiral of sadness and depression, thinking that I will always feel like this. When my thoughts got really bad at the end of the day, I tried to use ERP even though I was shaking and not believing my responses and I ended up feeling like I missed something and that I gave into the “bad guy.” I have no one to talk when I’m not doing therapy twice a week. I am alone and have no one to talk to when I am like this… please help