- Date posted
- 2y ago
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I put to much emphasis on it and torture myself with these thought rather than just accepting them and learning to live with them I’ve been seeing my specialists for about a week now and I’ve learned some new things but I keep up with the what ifs and the counter thoughts when people reassure me I’m okay because I keep thinking to myself they don’t know what’s going inside my head there not me they don’t feel what I feel and they just want to say that to say that and it scares me a similar thought like this happened to me two years ago and it crippled me even more then it did this time but I got over it after two months and I was fine for two years and now I’m back with the same thing and it sucks because I should of stuck with my meds and treatment but I figured I was fine and didn’t need it anymore and here we are again it just sucks I need to get out of this feeling
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Is it more of a fear rather than a want? because I feel as if it will happen one day I keep asking people for reassurance that I won’t
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Im going through the exact same thing right now, but we will get through it. A few days ago I woke up after severe stress episodes and I just felt out of touch with everything. Reality emotions and then I thought about harming myself and my anxiety sky rocketed. Im now in a state where I don’t know what to think, everytime i talk to people I just feel so out of touch and like it’s not really happening. I have a few good hours but the rest are bad and when I’m in these episodes I just want to sleep and cry. My anxiety initially started a few months ago but I’m happy to say I start therapy tommarow. I’m trying to keep up hope because i know I’m not completely gone, I still feel happy at times. When I go through these episodes I completely forget about the happiness and I feel this heavy stress on my head. My head feels like it’s going to explode and my body feels so weak. Today I managed to get up and eat which was hard for me and I sat under the sun. It was peaceful and gave me hope, please have hope. I know it’s hard but please don’t give up.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
It makes me feel better to know someone understands and can relate to my situation I feel pretty much the same as you also Im really happy that your starting therapy it will help a lot we will get better and we will laugh about these things one day because right now it feels so real but we’re gonna reflect on how this made us stronger mentally and we will be able to help others going through this as well we’ve hit a small bump in the road but we’re getting back up and continuing with our journey it’s a process and we take it one day at a time
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Zach C we will, I think that’s the thing that gives me most hope. It’s just so weird rn because when I have harm ocd I think of shutting down and I don’t think about others around me which makes me feel guilty. Like my mom and stuff, I feel like I should think about them instead of myself to feel better. I definitely agree that it’s a journey & if you need someone to reach out to I’m here ! 💕 are you starting therapy as well?
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I'm also afraid il loose control its horrible I get u but I have suffered with this for many years and still haven't went insane I just have pure terror in my body 24.7 it's awful im sorry your going trough this 💔
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I understand the feeling of wanting the thoughts to go away. I get thoughts about harming my family members and it’s extremely scary for me. I just want the thoughts to go away and feel happy. Some days my thoughts completely consume me and they take over and it’s terrifying. I use medication to cope but sometimes it feels like even that’s not enough. Glad to know someone else is going through a similar thing. It makes me feel not so alone.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
this is literally EXACTLY what i’m going through right now and it really helped me knowing i’m not alone. it’s so scary and i just want to go back to my normal self too
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I have been there. I get it. Go through ERP for this. Seriously, it changes things
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w ago
I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.
- Date posted
- 19w ago
I have a lot of thoughts about the universe, and they’re overwhelming—like being caught in a rip current, except it’s all inside my head. Most of the time, they’re about how small we are, how there really isn’t a “we” because our bodies aren’t truly ours—we’re just bacteria, cells, and microbes. The thoughts spiral, deeper and deeper, smaller and smaller, coiling until suddenly, I’m pulled under, drowning in a whirlpool. I’ve never felt like this before, and I’m convinced I’ve been faking it somehow. For the past few weeks, my OCD has been worse than it’s ever been in my 20 years of life. Or maybe I’m just more aware of it now. Has anyone else had their OCD suddenly get really bad? Does it ever end—if it even can? I’ve convinced myself that my intrusive thoughts aren’t actually intrusive, that my OCD is a choice, and that everything I do is intentional. As for compulsions, I don’t have the typical “If I don’t do ____ then ____ will happen” kind of thoughts. Instead, my brain simply commands, “Do ____,” and I always give in. It’s so loud in my head, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m an imposter. Like I don’t belong here—like my presence on this app is an intrusion, invalidating everyone else’s struggles just by downloading it and daring to post. If anyone feels that way, if you think I’m intruding, I’m sorry. I only came here because I have no one to share my diagnosis with. Pouring my thoughts out, hoping someone might understand, feels less suffocating than journaling. Journaling is like letting a wound fester—each word burying the thoughts deeper, leaving them to decay in silence, for nobody to ever read but myself.
- Date posted
- 15w ago
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
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