- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I put to much emphasis on it and torture myself with these thought rather than just accepting them and learning to live with them I’ve been seeing my specialists for about a week now and I’ve learned some new things but I keep up with the what ifs and the counter thoughts when people reassure me I’m okay because I keep thinking to myself they don’t know what’s going inside my head there not me they don’t feel what I feel and they just want to say that to say that and it scares me a similar thought like this happened to me two years ago and it crippled me even more then it did this time but I got over it after two months and I was fine for two years and now I’m back with the same thing and it sucks because I should of stuck with my meds and treatment but I figured I was fine and didn’t need it anymore and here we are again it just sucks I need to get out of this feeling
- Date posted
- 3y
Is it more of a fear rather than a want? because I feel as if it will happen one day I keep asking people for reassurance that I won’t
- Date posted
- 3y
Im going through the exact same thing right now, but we will get through it. A few days ago I woke up after severe stress episodes and I just felt out of touch with everything. Reality emotions and then I thought about harming myself and my anxiety sky rocketed. Im now in a state where I don’t know what to think, everytime i talk to people I just feel so out of touch and like it’s not really happening. I have a few good hours but the rest are bad and when I’m in these episodes I just want to sleep and cry. My anxiety initially started a few months ago but I’m happy to say I start therapy tommarow. I’m trying to keep up hope because i know I’m not completely gone, I still feel happy at times. When I go through these episodes I completely forget about the happiness and I feel this heavy stress on my head. My head feels like it’s going to explode and my body feels so weak. Today I managed to get up and eat which was hard for me and I sat under the sun. It was peaceful and gave me hope, please have hope. I know it’s hard but please don’t give up.
- Date posted
- 3y
It makes me feel better to know someone understands and can relate to my situation I feel pretty much the same as you also Im really happy that your starting therapy it will help a lot we will get better and we will laugh about these things one day because right now it feels so real but we’re gonna reflect on how this made us stronger mentally and we will be able to help others going through this as well we’ve hit a small bump in the road but we’re getting back up and continuing with our journey it’s a process and we take it one day at a time
- Date posted
- 3y
@Zach C we will, I think that’s the thing that gives me most hope. It’s just so weird rn because when I have harm ocd I think of shutting down and I don’t think about others around me which makes me feel guilty. Like my mom and stuff, I feel like I should think about them instead of myself to feel better. I definitely agree that it’s a journey & if you need someone to reach out to I’m here ! 💕 are you starting therapy as well?
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm also afraid il loose control its horrible I get u but I have suffered with this for many years and still haven't went insane I just have pure terror in my body 24.7 it's awful im sorry your going trough this 💔
- Date posted
- 3y
I understand the feeling of wanting the thoughts to go away. I get thoughts about harming my family members and it’s extremely scary for me. I just want the thoughts to go away and feel happy. Some days my thoughts completely consume me and they take over and it’s terrifying. I use medication to cope but sometimes it feels like even that’s not enough. Glad to know someone else is going through a similar thing. It makes me feel not so alone.
- Date posted
- 3y
this is literally EXACTLY what i’m going through right now and it really helped me knowing i’m not alone. it’s so scary and i just want to go back to my normal self too
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I have been there. I get it. Go through ERP for this. Seriously, it changes things
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
i am convinced im a psycho killer. everytime im around my mom or sister i get these intense thoughts of stabbing or hurting them. when they’re not around its not as intense but its still there. its literally on my mind 24/7. im so tense 24/7. were currently looking for a puppy for the family and when me and my sister were playing with them today the thought was still there. nothing distracts me from it. video games and EVERYTHING else doesn’t work. im starting to feel like i WANT to do these things. i was never like this until i had a marijuana induced panic attack in january. i feel like something happened to my brain and its not just ocd anymore. i dont even know if im faking it. i have suffered from relationship ocd, pedophile ocd, and health ocd. i got over those relatively quickly. this new theme came out of nowhere after a panic attack on a plane coming home from a horror convention in february. i dont see a way out of this one. its been months. i try to let them sit and i get a panic attack. all i do everyday is cry. i feel like my life is over. i talk to a therapist and i have tried two medications that didnf work work. i dont know how to live like this. im afraid im gonna lose my relationship and im afraid im gonna lose my whole life ahead of me. im just 22. i just want the old me back.
- Date posted
- 20w
i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I have anxiety about harming other people/family members and it’s like urges and im scared I actually want to do it? I don’t think I’ve ever been violent as a kid (im 21 now) and the intrusive thoughts don’t go away so im just stuck all day everyday for the past few weeks just thinking and being scared about it and im having all these weird emotions like being irritated and angry I don’t want to hurt people I don’t think idk why my mind is making me think I do I’ve had intrusive thoughts before that I could brush away sure it took like a day or two but this one is different it doesn’t go away and leaves me with the worst fear imaginable and nothing I look up that should be giving me relief is giving me relief + I feel like im not in control of my body and that im just gonna lose it and act on these thoughts it’s just all on a loop and im not sure how im supposed to live the rest of my life when im in constant fear of my self
- Date posted
- 19w
I don’t even know where to start because there’s so much going on in my head and it feels like there’s so much evidence for every thought. Like my ocd feels like it doesn’t just have one specific theme it’s honestly every theme and it just switches throughout the day depending on the thoughts I have. This started all about a month ago, this whole ocd flare up. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd for about 3 years now and looking back on my childhood, I feel like I’ve had it for probably my entire life. My grandpa just recently died back in February and I feel like this whole ocd spiral is a result of dealing with grief especially because it didn’t even hit me for the whole month of April for some reason and things felt “normal”. But since this ocd flare up has started I’ve been constantly reviewing and revisiting my past, all my childhood memories and so many of them are terrifying which is weird because I never had a traumatic event hppen to me as a child. I feel like it’s always been “self-inflicted” trauma if that makes sense? My mind is telling me so many things related to so many topics like maybe I liked my family member as a kid and have just hid it to fit in with society? That my anxiety as a kid has caught up with me and I’m turning into a psychopath? That I’ve always been a creep and enjoyed looking at peoples privates or chests, etc but just ignored or allowed the thought this whole time. Also before this whole flare up I remember always feeling on autopilot and not really alive like everything I did I just felt numb about it. Which aids my ocd to tell me that these feelings are real and the thoughts are true and that I’m “waking up” or realizing or something. I haven’t felt such intense anxiety and distress since I was a kid and I didn’t even understand my own thoughts. It’s like I’m either hyper aware or totally unaware of what’s going on around me and it gets me thinking about my existence, personality, what my role in life is and like genuinely what I’m even doing in the moment like what’s the reason behind everything. I’m constantly questioning my intentions because I don’t know if they’re true or not and it’s like my ocd doesn’t even allow me to consider the thought it just jumps to conclusion. Like telling me I’m guilty before proven innocent. It honestly feels like so much at once to even simply call it ocd or anxiety because it feels like a crisis and any moment I could spiral and breakdown completely. Going to school everyday feeling like anytbing could trigger a panic attack at any moment makes me feel like I can’t be left alone with my thoughts. And like overall since I got down this rabbit hole, my first obsession was harm to myself, then it was harm to others specifically my family, then it was being a pervert or pedo, or being attracted or someone or something I shouldn’t be, which then makes me question my existence and who I am along with also being hyper aware of my facial movements like my eyebrows, nose, etc. Like why does ocd have to involve itself in every aspect of my life? It feels like there’s always something wrong that I need to fix.
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