anyone else have high-functioning ocd bc they’re completely unable to put their life on hold. I’m a pro at pretending everything is ok when I’m really falling apart inside.

Pigpen

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes I say I am ok, but really paralyzed with fear. I have things I need to clean, but it is so hard to do those things I see as contaminated because it frightens me. But it scares me to even have these dirty areas in my house.

ihaveaheadache

Date posted: 2y ago

can’t lie tho. I go many days at a time just sitting on my couch crying & feeling paralyzed. I just can’t win with this

Pigpen

Date posted: 2y ago

I'm the same way Vicious. I dont have people over and can spend hours just doing a few things because of how long it takes to do it right. I sometimes stand just thinking about how I will go about what I need to do in an order that doesnt contaminate something else. But there is always something that needs to be cleaned because I was in the area. Today I did pretty good though. I read more about ERP and got myself to allow myself to do these things and not be as freaked out at least.

Vicious1337

Date posted: 2y ago

Way to go Pigpen, congrats on your good day! ERP is not easy, but super beneficial. I’ve been working with it for about a month now. Let me tell ya, it has been a process. I can’t tell you how much I’ve cried over looking at an unclean thing, but I have been making noticeable improvement. I have both good days and set backs, but a slip is not a slide. I’m still wrapping my head around that there are other people in the world that have difficulties like mine. Reading peopes thoughts and messages here has been an awesome boost too!

Vicious1337

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m a compulsive cleaner that looks like I have my shit together. I can spend several hours cleaning and disinfecting the floors and still not be content. I frequently cry in the shower to muffle my meltdowns. I feel guilty about my condition, but would feel even worse if someone notices. I have no friends or people over to my house, yet I still feel the need to hide myself this way.

Pigpen

Date posted: 2y ago

Thanks! I'm trying to find someone to accept my insurance. Hopefully nocd will at some point but they dont. I feel like I am alone when I see people going about their day when I'm driving miles to go to a store I feel isnt contaminated like the ones close to me. Even my sons school. He wanted to go to a different one and I was happy because the one he is zoned for would make me panic every day and spend hours cleaning which I already do anyway. Now I am trying to get myself to at least be ok with the thought of places and things. Glad someone can relate to what I go through. Noone even knows how much this affects my life.

patheticgirl43

Date posted: 25w ago

Excuse

Sometimes i feel like im using ocd as an excuse. What if i dont really have it and im just freaking myself out? Does anyone feel this way

lalalalal166373

Date posted: 12w ago

what if it’s not ocd

so i was on instagram and it came up with other signs of ocd then someone commented this doesn’t mean you have ocd now im stressed that its not ocd background - i had so-ocd for a few years then got treatment for it but am now on the waiting list for further treatment for other stuff but i dont have another theme which makes me feel like its not ocd my day to day life consists of touching the door handle every time you go past it or someone will die, and inability to send emails without re reading loads of times and getting other people to check because im scared i wrote something bad but the what if it’s not ocd thought is triggering me now and i don’t know what do

frannyb

Date posted: 11w ago

I can't do this anymore

I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.

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anyone else have high-functioning ocd bc they’re completely unable to put their life on hold. I’m a pro at pretending everything is ok when I’m really falling apart inside.

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