My contamination ocd has gotten so bad its currently making me have meltdowns 24/7 and its got me to the point where I’m thinking im done with trying because I cant seem to find any therapists that do erp in my city. The only ones that are “close” are 2 hours away so it makes it impossible for me to do therapy with them.

Hello, i have very severe contamination ocd, and as i am writing this i feel my hands are dirty lol, but anyways i wanted to know if there’s anyone specialised in Contamination ocd? No matter what type because i really need help and i looked up things but it doesn’t help please!!

sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔

I’m trying to do ERP therapy, but I keep thinking my subtype of ocd is the worst there ever is. I tried going on a walk tonight and the adrenaline in my body along with the shakes and the burning in my chest got so overwhelming. I felt like I was just about to lay down in the gutter along the sidewalk. I’m not trying to be super negative. I just don’t know what to do anymore. If it’s not one thing it’s another and I just wanna cry so bad and I want it to go away but it won’t I almost feel like I have to call a crisis line or something even right now while I’m writing this I’m crying so bad. I can’t enjoy a single thing. I joined a support group tonight, but I just feel like I feel so bad for everyone because of how awful it is. I know what I’m writing right now doesn’t make a lot of sense but I just don’t know what to do anymore. Part of me wants to quit ERP therapy so bad cause I don’t think it’s gonna ever help. if anyone has any advice or suggestions, that would be greatly appreciated.