Feel really unintelligent

I have a tendency to live in my head a lot which can make it hard for me to be fully present with big groups of people. As a result I’ve always gotten comments like “he never knows what’s going on does he.” I’m also just easily distracted, forgetful, and can appear airheaded in general. My closest friends know that I’m smart but also I know that most acquaintances have a tendency to think I’m dumb or kinda slow. Sometimes it just gets me down. Anyone else?

Username: ocdallthewayocdalltheway

Date posted: 2y ago

All the time really, even got to a point where I didn't want to take an IQ test from my therapist. I knew I would have a solid score which would only make me feel like an even bigger fool/failure for not being able to manage my problems and achieve my goals. For the close acquaintances of yours, it's more your fear talking as in you are just assuming that they think that. But yeah, it does sometimes really get me down, especially since I know that a few years back I wasn't nearly as distracted or forgetful as I am now.

Username: yun444gyun444g

Date posted: 2y ago

Thanks so much for your response. I’m glad some other people can relate too! I’m curious, do you ever get the comments like “you never know what’s going on do you”? I’ve gotten those for Ah while, and also yes I relate to that last part, I definitely wasn’t always like this. As a kid I was actually amongst the smartest people around me, I’d say. Lol

Username: ocdallthewayocdalltheway

Date posted: 2y ago

@yun444g I don't get those comments often but I often feel like people are judging me because I have problems staying focused and on topic. I would say that I'm actually quite good at multi tasking, just the people around me don't have to watch the game and have a casual talk while managing a partly neurological disorder with sometimes extreme levels of distress and million thoughts. It's really frustrating sometimes but my close friends are used to it. I do sometimes feel really angry about it, it's like someone is judging me for not being smart as them while deep inside me, accompanied by my ego, I think that it may be just the opposite. My OCD actually latched onto these thoughts as in them being amoral towards other people so I often went into a spiral of suppression and senseless self hate.

Username: yun444gyun444g

Date posted: 2y ago

@ocdalltheway Okay yeah that makes perfect sense. I think in my case, I typically am pretty laidback and kind of just go with the flow despite the storm of thoughts going on in my head. For whatever reason my natural social habit is to just act silly & goofy but that in turn makes people assume there’s nothing going on upstairs, which bothers me if i think about it too much. But yeah I’ve gotten that way too, feeling frustrated with people who don’t really know me and then also feeling super guilty about it. It’s crazy how much your OCD can have an effect on your social tendencies.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Can’t control what other people think, maybe they think you’re dumb, maybe they don’t. If you want to improve your ability to be present try meditation and breathing and grounding exercises when around small then large groups of people. Anxiety will make it hard for you to think clearly so the more you can self soothe around others the better you will be able to connect.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Also “feeling unintelligent” is a thought not a “feeling” what are you really feeling?

Username: yun444gyun444g

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous In this case they’re pretty much synonymous, right? I said I’m feeling unintelligent because I was thinking about the times people have called me out for “not knowing what’s going on” when I really did know what was going on, for instance. I guess my biggest struggle here is that it makes me bitter toward them, it doesn’t seem fair that just because I don’t happen to give off this “super aware” vibe that people just assume I’m oblivious to everything.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@yun444g Yea I totally get what you’re saying, just because you don’t present yourself in a particular way people make certain assumptions about you, I’ve def felt that way esp at work. Buttt what are you really feeling? I see a lot of thinking and intellectualizing going on with all this for you.. what do you *feel*? What are you afraid of? What needs are not being met?

Username: yun444gyun444g

Date posted: 2y ago

Hmm that’s a great question. Perhaps a lot of it is purely image-based obsessions—I just hate being seen as inferior so much whether it’s regarding intelligence, looks, work ethic, level of success, you name it. The thing is, I genuinely DO want to keep improving myself and get better in all of these ways (because i know I’m lacking in these departments), but it feels like people always allude to me being inferior in those ways anyway, no matter how much I work on myself. I want to somehow be successful or at least someone that people can take seriously and it feels like that just can’t happen for some reason.

Username: feethebee

Date posted: 3y ago

im beginning to doubt my own memories and fundamental things about myself :\ every time i make a claim it's like my brain gets a little foggy and i start questioning it. for example i might narrate an event, or state a fact about something or someone, and question whether that really is true or happened. and when i get that thought it's like my brain goes blank and i don't know how to get back on track. i constantly feel like a liar. i also had a phase where i excessively doubted my identity and personality. every time i expressed a strong opinion or emotion, or made a statement about who i am as a person i got an unwanted thought that said "is this really who you are" and my mind would go blank again. id also feel anxious and hopeless. i compensate for this by taking personality tests on the internet to reassure myself that im secure in my identity and have an actual personality, but it can also be triggering sometimes because when im unsure about something i start feeling like i have no identity again ;( this is stupid i know

"Pure" OCD

Username: em.jem

Date posted: 3y ago

Hey everyone — I wrote this in my journal the other day and I’m curious if anyone else experiences “talking in circles” or not being able to “get to the point” when answering a question because you think that a lot of information is necessary to answer it. I have this problem with schoolwork. Instead of a one-sentence answer, I’ll write a long paragraph explaining details that are relevant but aren’t necessary to answer the question. This entry is out of context, but I think you’ll get the vibe: ‘I want to say that I understood what you were asking. You were asking, “What has helped you to make progress in the past?” I understood why you were asking that question: so that you can help facilitate me in following the plan. I suppose I just didn’t have a good answer. And when I tried to answer, the thought I expressed branched off into another semi-related topic. I feel as if I can’t get a clear thought through. It makes me feel like I am stupid and unable to hold a followable and intelligible conversation. And then I understood what you were doing in response: you acknowledged what I said respectfully and then found a way to circle back to your original question which I didn’t answer very well. And then I would try and explain my answer to the original question again, but I had no direct answer and it led me off onto another path. I feel as if my cognition makes it difficult to hold a cohesive, purposeful, and coherent conversation. I want to apologize because I feel like I’m waisting time instead of getting to the important questions / topics. I really, really wish I could just put my stupid thoughts together in a concise way so that I could answer your question. I am painfully aware of my circling thoughts and overly-detailed responses that are difficult to follow. I am very self-conscious of it. And I am very well aware of which thoughts are normal and which are disordered. That’s why I always say, “I know that’s disordered.” I get afraid that people will think I’m crazy. I don’t know why this happens to me. Maybe it’s OCD, anxiety, or maybe it’s some other disorder that I’m not diagnosed with yet (ADD)? I’m also unsure if I talk like this all the time or if it’s only when I get anxiety or when a lot of thoughts that I want to express come into my mind at once. The same thing sometimes happens when I do my schoolwork. I get anxiety that what I am saying is unintelligible and that what I am saying makes no sense. I wonder if more medication will help or if this is just how I think. And I bet I’ve repeated myself numerous times in this script. So I’ll stop writing. I hope my point came across and I hope I was able to express all that I felt the need to say.’

Perfectionism OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

People think I’m a weirdo. Literally.

So cuz of my ocd I dissociate a lot. I don’t feel present often, but like I’m always lost in thoughts or sensations. I try to act normal. But even when I do, people literally treat me like “ok this girls a little weird”. I can’t explain it, but people literally think I’m off! Idk it’s very hard for me to be normal when I don’t feel right…. It’s very hard for me to maintain relationships/friendships now. I just always feel anxious x 100000000 Ugh does anyone understand or can relate?

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Feel really unintelligent

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