I’m worried if someone can answer my question

If you don’t mind me asking do you have something besides OCD that caused your psychotic break? Because you mentioned manic episode

@Redrose Thank you a lot

@Redrose I have only been diagnosed OCD. My break stemmed from finally admitting (after 20Y) that I had OCD and addressing my intense ROCD with my now fiancé and opening up. The relief + realization that I hadn’t lost her was immense, lots of dopamine and I kept chasing it in the following weeks right into mania and a break. I realize that may not be what you want to hear but try to tolerate any anxiety and let the thoughts pass by. Best of luck to you. You are stronger than you think!

@JB1020 Thank you for explaining and I’m sorry that you had to go through that I’m glad you’re doing better! However I’m not completely understanding what caused your psychotic break? It happened because you accepted that you had OCD and didn’t lose your fiance so because you were happy about it you went into mania and then a psychotic break?

@Redrose I was having a lot of Relatioship OCD (I didn’t know it was OCD yet). I knew I had some sort of undiagnosed anxiety issue for 20Y. Was putting off marriage and it was causing a lot of problems. We finally addressed it, I opened up about essentially everything, all my fears and my past “anxiety attacks” and “irrational thoughts”. It was a real scene, and she was hurt by the ROCD thoughts. But I felt massive relief someone didn’t abandon me after disclosing all this. Within 24 hr I knew I would marry her. Lots of dopamine. Lots of relief, crying. I agreed to see a therapist. I admitted I probably had OCD. I kept leaning in. Wrote my vows next day. Started apologizing to friends for things I had always wanted to. Wasn’t sleeping much. Dealt with a lot of past issues related to OCD. Just kept chasing the high and going further and further. 1 week of mania, and then about 36 hours of reality gone/blurring and 8 days in a ward.

@JB1020 Oh man that must’ve been tough to deal with but a relief at the same time! I’m so happy for you that she stuck by your side you deserve it and congratulations for making her a fiance! How are you now? Have you had another break or are you way better? How do you deal with it? Did you know that you had a psychotic break or at the time it was happening you didn’t know what was going on ? Do you only realize it after you get out of that state of mind? Sorry for the many questions

@Redrose Thank you for the kind words. I’ve been doing well. When you enter psychosis, by definition, you don’t realize you’re leaving reality. Pretty quickly my fiancé realized something was wrong and that we needed help. Then I had to pull back and reflect and I realized she was right (was back in touch with reality briefly) and then the next 36 hours was a blur of the two - my mind kept wanting to go there and I kept trying to pull myself back. In the months after I had a few more close calls where I was very anxious and and spiraling (was still in a high dopamine state), but each time I pulled back and never lost touch. 6 months of a low dose anti-psychotic post discharge which I have been off now for 6 months. Wedding is next month. Been doing great. When I get psychosis OCD or fear of more mental illness diagnoses I do exposures. I don’t even regret the break or feel shame about it. I learned a lot, become more open to religion/supernatural themes (I’m agnostic), etc….

@JB1020 Ahhh okay! That makes sense thank you so much for sharing this you are defeintly strong! I wish you all the best and I hope your wedding day goes smoothly

Thank you a lot

Are you serious????

@Redrose Just because you hallucinate doesn’t mean you’re going crazy. I used to “see” ghosts as a kid but it was because I believed in ghosts SO much, my brain showed me ghosts. Same thing for aliens, angels, faeries, etc. if you believe in some tight so much and you want to see it, eventually your brain will show something. Neuroscience and other fields of study have been studying this for decades.

@Nica Makes sense!