Rocd back door spike...

I suffer from severe Rocd and recently try harder to do new things for my improvement such as study a course, go to the gym, get out more. The first few days I felt really good, having mild rocd symptoms but being in a good general state. I felt proud and hopeful. As the days went by, Rocd started coming back with horrible thoughts bombarding me in many different ways. I started doubting again, questioning my relationship with my husband, feeling scared and terrible. Yesterday it escalated with me having a serious Rocd episode crying, screaming and feeling it will never end. It felt like I started from zero again. It's like Rocd wants me back where I was, like being happy is bad and my destiny is to feel numb and scared...why does it come back so bad after a seemingly beautiful period??? I hate going back there , living the nightmare again and again...i felt so hopeless and alone experiencing Rocd all over again...any advice guys for this situation????

Username: CrodriguezCrodriguez

Date posted: 2y ago

I’ve recently had an episode too, it sucks I push my fiancée away and it hurts her. I’m grateful she’s been incredibly supportive through my journey but she’s taken bumps along the road too. I feel like I’m starting at square one too. Like all my work went out the window. That’s not true it feels that what but it’s not true. I don’t want to reassure you because that is also what fuels OCD. So instead I will tell you that you’re not alone in this and it’s just a feeling. Sit through it no matter how uncomfortable, this goes for me too. That moment is over it’s done, what we can do now is slow down and choose into the actions that help us.

Username: Jeanie12Jeanie12

Date posted: 2y ago

I am literally experiencing the exact same thing. Had an AMAZING period. I was HAPPY and felt free for 4 beautiful months. I genuinely thought I overcame it. I thought I won. The past two days have been filled with awful anxiety around a co worker after I was made uncomfortable which triggered anxiety and ever since then, the anxiety won’t go away. I’m right back questioning everything. My therapist helped me a lot by explaining to me that I didn’t do anything wrong and I didn’t take any steps back. It feels that way because I’m scared but the fact that we are able to pinpoint exactly what this is we’re dealing with and label it right off the bat is incredible growth! We have the tools to over come it. We just can’t let the fear get in the way of doing the work we know we need to do to over come it again.

Username: zoedzoed

Date posted: 2y ago

This is really helpful and believe it too, but when this back door happens it feels like it is true and all coming back...you feel like it starts all over again remembering how bad it felt... Thank you for your support!

Username: Jeanie12Jeanie12

Date posted: 2y ago

@zoed Believe me, I completely understand. I haven’t even been on this app in months. 😕 I’m doing a little better today after remembering the tools I learned the first time but I do have really bad moments where I’m near or even in panic that it’s coming back. I just try really hard to respond back appropriately as soon as it happens. Welcome the anxiety and thoughts. It’s not easy, I know that because I’ve already been here once but I know that it’s worth it since I have been in a recovery state.

Username: RedyrooRedyroo

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m so glad I found this post! Been also dealing with the same, was doing so well and I feel like i’m back to square one. I feel like my partner is sick of me at this rate and all the love we had for each other is slowly going down the drain due to my excessive fears. I was also triggered by a coworker as someone had mentioned previously and ever since then i’ve been spiralling down 🥲

Username: zoedzoed

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you again you are really helpful! I hope i will manage to go through this and be a better person able to enjoy my life!

Username: m205633

Date posted: 2y ago

Old triggers/obsessions back and bad again?

I suffered for a really long time (approx 2 years) with Real Event/False Memory ROCD. This led to a long period of chronic guilt, rumination, mental review and confessing. I sought help last year and finally realised I had OCD (hurrah) and wasn’t totally losing my mind. I felt as though I was (prior to diagnosis) when I told my therapist… “no matter what, I’m having the same thought over and over and every time I think I’ve found a way out of it, it comes back”. I felt really suicidal and could not see my way out of it for a while. I found a lot of help online with Instagram which led me to finding NOCD and a number of their therapists. I actually started NOCD therapy last year and was finally ridding myself of these horrible shackles and seeing that my life didn’t have to be defined by memories, mistakes and fears. However, unfortunately I fell ill and a number of life changing events happened (lost a beloved pet, was in and out of hospital, my stepdad became seriously ill and hospitalised) so I gave up therapy for the time being. Since, I’ve found myself distracted from my fears, I suppose I had a new theme to focus on (my health), I’d not realised it had become compulsive but I suppose it had. Anyway, it’s been a few months and I am still unwell but finding a way around it. I also have some great news in my life, I found out I’m pregnant and am beginning a new chapter in my life and am adapting to the changes and fears that come with that. Unfortunately 2 days ago I was floored by my old obsessions, back with vengeance with none of my old tools able to help again. I’m catching myself ruminating, I am noticing old patterns of mental review returning, here I am with that gut wrenching fear in my stomach constantly and words on my tongue ready to confess to things I may or may not have done (who knows!?). I feel so unprepared for this return of old fears… I thought I’d done well and almost become un-fearful again? I’m not sure where to go from here, I’ve enquired about some ERP again and am taking those steps. I’ve grabbed my old OCD books and am ready to remind myself to step out of those cycles. But I can’t help but feel devastated that the same old scary patterns have grabbed me again. Anyone have any top tips for coping in the meantime whilst arranging some ERP again 🪴

Username: Anonymous<3

Date posted: 2y ago

Rocd

Hey guys so I was having good days last week . I was feeling connected towards my partner and felt the feeling of being in “love” again . On Thursday those feelings started to go away again and I don’t feel as anxious and now I’m starting to get intrusive thoughts that just love to stick . These thoughts are telling me that since I don’t feel anxious about these thoughts they must mean they’re true about my relationship and that I should leave . It makes me loose hope every time that I’ll get better . Does anyone else experience this ? Does anyone have any advice ? I’m really trying and when I think I’m almost there something happens in my head and I get depressed again :/

Username: ____Anonymou...

Date posted: 46w ago

Rocd

Currently going through rocd AGAIN and I keep getting a thought on what if this isn’t rocd and I’m using ocd as an excuse. I hate this thought. I want to feel how I did a week ago. I hate battling this every other month. Any tips on really overcoming ocd because right when I think I do another theme comes along. I can’t live like this forever you guys u simply can’t.

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