When you just don’t know anymore. Is it OCD, is it me. Is it ocd because I’m questioning it? Can someone help me. I’m having a tough time with suicidal OCD and keep thinking that this is with me forever and it’s not going to get better. My ROCD has also started to kick in 😢 I feel like I can’t enjoy myself because these thoughts and feeling are just sitting over me
It's definitely not you. OCD makes you question everything. I call it the "what if" intruder. Is like everything we value gets attacked and scrutinized and we get these uncomfortable feelings that makes us draw false conclusions about ourselves, our values, our integrity and everything else. If you feel uncomfortable about a thought instead of thinking that you are bad it's actually proof that you are not. I know it's hard to grasp especially when one is plague by anxiety but it's true. Once you realize that you can call the thought for what it is, just a thought and nothing else. The problem it's the interpretation OCD gives to it but we can change that. Practice facing the thought and saying to it once or twice, so this doesn't become and obsession in itself, "is just a thought". I usually say to the thought: "yeah right. Whatever you say". And keep doing what I was doing. This is not a magic cure but with practice I have noticed that I have gotten much better. I still have hard days and struggle with other topics more than others but I have seen progress in me. Instead of focusing on a specific thought or obsession try doing something else with intention that you want to do. Like maybe take a walk, talk to someone, read a book, cook something, exercise, etc. Something that you say to yourself: "even with this pesky thought and anxiety I'll do something else". This will train your mind to see that there's nothing wrong. It was after all just a thought. Be kind and compassionate with yourself. Practice. One thing at a time. I promise it gets better. Even when some days you think you haven't made any progress at all it's not true. You have as I have. Remember you are not alone. Believe me, there's people that understand and I understand. You are not bad or any derogatory adjective that comes to your mind. Hope this helps. Virtual hug 🫂
It always gets better! No matter how hard it is! Just stay strong and do your best!
Thank you x
That is literally me right now. I also have a tough time with a very similar thing (Harm OCD🥲) and keep questioning whether it is from my OCD or from me, and whether my OCD is real. I also got so anxious thinking about the entire OCd thing sticking with me forever. But my therapist pointed out that this was ruminating. So someone without an OCD wouldn’t even care to ask these questions (questioning whether it was OCD or themselves). Just knowing this helped me a lot, so I try (even though its hard and I sometimes fail, but I still try) to remind myself that I shouldn’t think about this question at all, and when this question comes up, I should just TRY my very best to say “whatever”. We are in this together
2 months ago I fell into existential OCD that left me questioning the meaning of life and if anything was or wasn't real. Became depressed from the thought and eventually through acceptance if never knowing the unknown, I was back to having better days. Well, one day I found myself ruminating about the existential OCD again and had the random thought "Do you think you can keep living like this"? The thought Terrified me. I had been through alot of pain and loss and things but through it all I had never questioned if I could continue living. Since then I've been confused and anxious and tired. I don't know if it's suicidal ideation or suicidal themed OCD. I avoid songs with the word suicide, I stopped watching horror movies and stopped enjoying other things like Ghost Pokémon because they made me think of death and kind of triggered anxiety in me. Sometimes the thoughts feel so real that I'm not sure if it's something I actually want to do or if it's OCD. I've turned to trying to find spirituality and religion to tell myself if I kill myself their may be consequences in an afterlife. Im constantly googling things like "How to make suicidal thoughts go away" and reassuring myself that I wouldn't do it. It still feels real sometimes and it's horrifying. Is there a difference between being genuinely suicidal and suicidal ocd themed?
I have really been struggling the past few weeks. I have suicidal/harm OCD, and I’m very often met with intrusive awful suicidal thoughts that feel so so real. Recently, my therapist said that I might also be dealing with some trauma regarding these thoughts. Tonight, my brain kept telling me that I am past help and eventually, my therapist won’t know how to help me and I’ll end up harming myself. Sometimes I feel so alone and I have so much doubt about whether my suicidal thoughts are ocd or not… any advice?
I just wanted to come on here and rant for a minute because it has been awhile, back in September I started experiencing rocd with my husband I have been with for 9 years. At first I didn’t understand what was going on but then I found out I had ocd. It was swarming my mind for months like I was stuck in a loop and couldn’t get out and I had so much anxiety and as you could imagine it also lead to depression (which I also suffer with) in November I found out I was pregnant and I got really excited and scared, I had to stop doing my therapy due to finances but overall my mindset eventually started getting better, I worked really hard to get out of my cycle I was in. I still had intrusive thoughts but they didn’t get to me as badly and I was able to kinda just accept them and move on with my day but I still get my days where they become more overwhelming and I start to give in to the thoughts and become sad or anxious and start to believe them meanwhile trying not to but my brain questions rather it’s truly ocd or if it’s just how I feel. It has been a major rollercoaster and I’m still learning how to fully cope with it, I want to be better mentally for my baby and for my husband but it’s just not that easy, these thoughts are obsessive and it’s like it always tries to find a new way to bring you back into it. Like today and yesterday it’s been really heavy on my mind like “what if I don’t want to be with him, what if I don’t want to be with him FOREVER, what if this isn’t what I actually want to do with my life” so on, but I don’t want to be with anyone else and I only want to be with him, he is the only person I want to do life with. And yes these are valid questions for your normal person but with someone with ocd they are obsessive and they give you anxiety and they scare you and confuse you and make you start to believe them. So if your going through this I promise your not alone this shit just sucks
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