I’m a mom of a 6 month old and my OCD has gotten so bad that my brain constantly convinces me that I’m doing something bad to her or feeling a gross way about her to the point where I don’t even want to be near her. This is breaking my heart because I love my daughter so much and had such a strong bond with her and this is killing me and making me sad/feel disgusting at the same time.
I don’t really have any advice because I am struggling right now too but im also a mom with out of control OCD. Mine peaked during pregnancy and I started ERP therapy right before he was born and it was a night and day difference. My son is 17 months old and it’s been in check for that long but the last couple weeks it’s come back full force and nothing is harder then trying to be a good mom and deal with OCD. I would get started with ERP therapy. The moments with your girl are too precious to miss. ❤️
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Thank you. It helps to just know I am not alone. Even though at times it really feels like it because I can’t imagine anyone else having these God awful thoughts about their own children. I definitely want to do ERP again for this new subtype of OCD. Do you do ERP with a therapist on here or with your own therapist?
@Caree On here! I literally found NOCD a month before my son was due. I wish I would of found them sooner! This time I booked an appt very quickly. You aren’t alone. Us moms need to stick together. Being a mom is so amazing but can be so hard and then throw in OCD it’s a whole new level. Hang in there 💗
You are not alone 🫂💚💜 I've been slacking about showing up to the mom's support group but I'm super glad you checked it out. Motherhood/being a parent is really hard, especially with the expectations involved. Trigger warning, talking about ocd thoughts below .. .. .. My hospital stay really sucked because I didn't know I had OCD and didn't understand why I "hated" my baby and then felt extreme guilt and confusion because I resented that because I loved my baby so much it also brought these awful feelings. Thankfully, like all moments, it did pass. Sometimes it still returns, but not nearly with the same intensity as before. I'm at 18 months post partum and having joyful moments with my son. You can and will have joyful moments with your daughter 🫂💚💜
I'm sorry you're going through this. Are you able to see an ocd specialist to talk to? It must be such an emotional rollercoaster (I can only imagine, I've never had a child, but even on my period my ocd sucks majorly). Your thoughts and these icky feelings do not define you though. You love your daughter deeply and these ocd thoughts are truly a waste of energy. If you can try to sit with them through the discomfort, you will start to build resilience to them. I hope that you can get some relief soon, just keep building up your tolerance bit by bit. I have done this, it sucks and is awful, but you can do it. <3
Thank you so much for this. It has been super difficult. Each new theme of OCD I’ve experienced throughout my pregnancy/post partum gets worse and worse and this one takes the cake. I do have a therapist who specializes in OCD but Unfortunately I haven’t seen her much. I think she is trying to start cutting ties with me because I live in a different state (I moved last year and she wants me to establish care where I live). I was thinking about trying out a NOCD therapist
sending you so much love! speaking out about it is the first step. you are NOT alone, and your thoughts mean absolutely nothing about you- except that you’re a wonderful mom who loves her baby. your baby is safe with you. lean into the uncertainty of not knowing for sure whether or not you could cause harm (I know that’s painful to do” but I would absolutely recommend NOCD therapy! They’re incredible.
This isn’t even my post , but I definitely needed to read this. Such kind words. Your amazing 🥺🫶🏼
@BetterWays So glad this could reach you!! ❤️❤️
Thank you so much❤️ I am definetly going to try therapy on here. I keep hearing such great things!
Hi! Sending some hugs. I’m a mama too. It’s going to be okay & the thoughts are not a reflection of who you are or your parenting.
Thank you mama❤️
Hiii! Mom with OCD over here! I was diagnosed with OCD (by my father in law who is a psychiatrist) when I was about 7 months postpartum. Onset at 6 momths PP. I am now 20 months PP! It gets so much better! I have days where I struggle, but, I now, "know how the sausage is made." What I mean is that knowing how OCD works and pulling back the curtain (like in the Wizard of Oz) exposes OCD for what it is and allows you to move forward with your life. What I am hearing from you is that OCD (which is outside of your control) pops up with thoughts and feelings that you disagree with and it makes you feel anxious and disgusted. I totally get it! This is normal when you have OCD. In recovery, it can be a normal experience for you to have those intrusive thoughts and feelings come up and just (inside, knowing exactly what it is) give them no meaning--giving you the ability to move on! Not every day is easy, but it does get better. Something that helped me that a therapist has said is that you have no responsibility over/for any intrusive thought or feeling or urge, etc. What you do have responsibility for is how you move forward after those encounters. Put your focus on how you live your life. Not the chatter in your brain. Always here to chat, mama! It's taken me a long time to get to this point. I literally thought I was the most disgusting imposter of a human when this first arrived for me. Now, I realize that we all have intrusive thoughts and I care so much that they actually bother me! Such a change! Also want to say that the bond with your daughter is still there. I thought the same with my boy. ❤️ From the time he was born until I had my first PP intrusive thought was actually the very BEST, HAPPIEST time of my life.
This was so incredibly helpful to read. I really appreciate you saying all this to me. I’m so happy to know I’m not alone. I love what you said about my responsibility for how I move forward. That is so well said. I definitely know there’s hope. Thank you so much again❤️
Hang in there mama! I am also a mom with ocd. It started when May first two babies were 1 and 3 and is back again now while I am preg with my fourth. It is hard some days and I do therapy on this app which is definitely taught me so much. There are mom support groups on Tuesdays and Thursdays too that you could try on top of therapy :) Being a mom is already hard and this makes it so much tougher! Just know you are not alone and there are many moms I have met on here dealing with the same things. I have had every single theme possible. It just switches all the time for me. It’s like once one thing doesn’t bother me my brain is on to the next thing. Saying a prayer for you! I am here if you ever want to chat💜💜💜💜
Thank you sooo much❤️ I’m so glad to know I am not alone. I attended my first NOCD support group for moms last night and I plan on attending many more! I also plan on trying therapy through NOCD. I am willing to do whatever I can to manage my OCD and get back on track. And like you, my themes are always switching. It’s funny because I’ll experience one theme and be like “it can’t be any worse than this” and then a new theme that’s MUCH worse will emerge. We are such warriors for dealing with OCD and I hope it’ll make me stronger in the end.
@Caree I would love to here more about the Moms support group! How do I find it? 😊
@Anonymous https://www.treatmyocd.com/support-groups here is the link😊 they meet every Tuesday/Thursday night!
Thank you so much!
You’re welcome!!
Does anyone have postpartum-triggered OCD or harm thoughts involving their baby or children? I just had my first child two months ago and am obsessed with the fear I’m going to hurt her or that I don’t love her.
Hi y’all! I’ve had OCD since 7 or 8 years old, but wasn’t fully diagnosed until I was in my twenties after having a major panic attack. This triggered my derealization and had intrusive thoughts that nothing was real, that everything was a projection of my imagination. My OCD was pretty quiet until now, 15 mos after having my precious babygirl (i figured it latches on to the things/people we cherish the most). My OCD is making me think that she isn’t real and it is making it hard for me to enjoy moments with my baby. It’s been a struggle and I’m hoping to find some light. 🥺
OCD stole those precious moments away from my baby and I. She’s 18 months now but I went through so much. I was having really scary thoughts. I didn’t want to be around her cause I was scared I was going to hurt her. I avoided my baby when she needed her mother. I was so scared to be alone with her. It hurts so bad. She’s the most perfect thing on this earth and I feel like she deserves so much better. I’ve struggled with OCD and depression all my life. I’m so scared that I’m going to ruin her somehow with all my mental health issues. God I just want the best for her. I can’t get over the guilt. I’m 20 weeks with my second and I’m so scared. I love my babies so much but i don’t want to ruin them.
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