Does it ever feel like the thing you have always done feel completely wrong/strange/uncomfortable to you and that you should not do it?

Anything that you have always done and now all of a sudden it feels completely wrong. So rn I have to buy clothes for myself but I feel uncomfortable and it feels wrong buying guy clothes now.

@Imaan7 It happened to me and it will pass.

@Scooterino I read your posts a lot and it sounds like what I was going through. ERP didn't help until I did EMDR to process some of my PTSD involving my OCD intrusive thoughts. Now my TOCD is gone, and I'm dealing with older themes that are harder less scary but harder to get rid of because theyve been with me longer. Maybe EMDR for trauma is something you could look into?

@Imaan7 Ph ok yes I’m going through this too, I had just put on a dress that I really do like and some heels and I just felt awful because I couldn’t see myself as a girl anymore and I made me want to cry so bad because I was so excited about it but it had only made me feel worse and I felt like I could only see a guy in a dress and again made me want to cry so yeah I’ve been feeling that same lol just different situations in a way kinda

@Scooterino That’s so nice to know!!

@khm It really helped! I realized that I couldn't break the cycle until I could process how traumatizing the cycle was. Once I did, a lot of the thoughts/feelings went away.

@Scooterino Wait but I dont have any trauma?

@Imaan7 OCD creates trauma surrounding a concept or self-perception. Wouldnt you say the idea of suddenly being a different gender or having a different sexual preference feels traumatizing? It certainly traumatized me.

@Scooterino I definitely have been through incomprehensible amounts of anxiety these past 2 years.

@Imaan7 I don’t get anxiety anymore though I did when I was first having those thoughts but then all of a sudden I just haven’t if anything I’ve been majorly sad and having like existential dread which I suppose is also trauma but idk I guess I just don’t know how to really heal from that, like I can’t see myself as a girl anymore and sometimes think it’s a confidence issue because I’ll daydream like idk a marriage or something and just immediately have the thought that that will never happen to me because I’m not desirable as my gender idk how to explain it but that’s just what’s been happening with me I do get anxious but it turns into sadness pretty quickly or disgust maybe ?

@khm I felt the same way. My body felt wrong, my mind felt wrong, I didn't know what was right or wrong anymore... The minute I used trauma therapy to take my body out of fight or flight, I remembered who I was.

@Scooterino If you dont mind can we talk somewhere else? Id really like to ask some more questions

@Imaan7 could we make a group chat? Would that be ok?

@khm I dont mind that

@Scooterino - Hey! I’ve suffered with TOCD on and off for 10 years. I have a lot of trauma caused by it and would love to do EMDR. How did you find a good therapist for EMDR that also understands OCD?

@ajw Hi! I'm so sorry you suffer, too. I didn't find a therapist who understands OCD who was willing to do EMDR. I found an excellent, fairly young/new therapist who was willing to learn about OCD through my experience of it. ERP with an experienced OCD therapist hadn't worked, and she wanted to do EMDR to process some other trauma, so she was willing to add my OCD triggers to the list of things to work on. My best advice is find a therapist who is willing to listen to you and take your word as gospel when it comes to the OCD experience and your knowledge of it.

@Scooterino Thank you so much! I truly appreciate it. I did ERP too but I feel like I have a lot of trauma from having OCD for so many years that I need to resolve. I will definitely look into an EMDR therapist.

@ajw That's awesome! I highly encourage it! And I'd love to hear if it helps!

Could I join the discord chat please? I’m having such a hard time

Discord works for me

@Itswhatever imaann7#2111 whenever you guys make one add me