- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s like you are writing my life the past month! Hang in there!! Ultimately I think this is an extension of ROCD because if you were a lesbian it would ultimately mean you’d have to leave the relationship. It’s so tough- I feel your pain. My ROCD has eased off but SOOCD has come on strong!
- Date posted
- 3y
I was thinking the same thing, that it’s an extension of ROCD as all my ROCD themes made me believe I had to break up with him. I think it all comes from fear of abandonment so I have to be the one to end it first, if that makes sense? Which is why I’m also having such a bad reaction to two weeks apart. I know I’m not a lesbian because I have found other men attractive recently and been aroused by talking about sex with my boyfriend but my brain is doing a really good job of convincing me I am. I’m sorry you can relate so much though, it’s definitely not fun but thank you so much for responding and making me feel a little less alone
- Date posted
- 3y
@EM77 Yep makes sense! I’m nearly 30 years old and I’ve never questioned my sexuality so to me it’s a bit of a stretch to suddenly be the complete opposite sexuality. I love my partner and couldn’t get enough of him days ago so I’ll continue to treat it as OCD. If there is no proof and there is anxiety behind it, I’ll always treat it like OCD. (Although I quite often fall into the ‘I’m not anxious enough’ trap haha- it’s never ending!!) Hope it eases off for you. Our brains are soooo convincing!!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Shannon I’ve questioned my sexuality on and off for a few years but it was never sticky and anxiety inducing like it is now, I was always able to accept that I might be bi and/or on the asexual spectrum and never once thought I was actually a lesbian, I was always able to think about it and move on easily but now it’s become sticky in my mind. I feel like because I’ve questioned my sexuality before it makes it more “real” and like I’m actually in “denial” which is so difficult. I felt so in love last week with my boyfriend and felt that magnetic pull towards him frequently last week and was so happy when he said he wants to get married someday so I’m trying to remind myself of those things. Surely if I was actually a lesbian those things wouldn’t make me so happy and I wouldn’t experience them? Sorry I’m rambling on now! I’ve definitely fallen into the “I’m not anxious enough” trap, it’s awful! Thanks, I hope you experience relief from it soon too!
- Date posted
- 3y
@EM77 Then tgat should be a good sign that it’s OCD. Sticky thoughts that make you anxious or distressed. They go against what you want. I understand the feelings of denial- I get that too. And feeling happy with your partner! I struggle with intimacy generally which adds a lot of fuel to my fire & when I read stories written by women who are lesbians that are similar to my feelings I find that very triggering but everyone is different and every story is different. Ultimately you can decide what you want, not your thoughts. On my toughest days I ask ‘do I want to stay in this relationship today’ and the answer is always yes no matter what OCD says.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Shannon I’ve always taken that as a sign of OCD too, they definitely make me upset at the moment not so much anxious anymore but sometimes anxiety accompanies them! Omg I’m the exact same, sex has never been something I’ve majorly enjoyed so I related to some lesbian stories which made me spiral! But I always want to stay in the relationship which is why these thoughts are so sticky and upsetting. Thank you so much for this advice though, it’s really helped me to see this as OCD
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad
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- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 15w
Having a little bit of a rough morning. My boyfriend and I are finally ending long distance next month and moving in together! I’m so excited, but the big change means some ROCD and SOOCD flaring up. I also got triggered by a tik tok of a bisexual woman this morning. I’ve been ruminating about: - ending long distance and being in a more consistent routine will make me realize I don’t actually love him and that we’re not compatible - I will not like spending so much time with a man but I enjoyed a long vacation with a girl friend one time (my best friend and I took a 7 week trip to Europe after we graduated college early and I had so much fun and we hardly fought / disagreed) - if i have been suppressing my attraction to women, even though I really don’t think I have feelings for women. I admire their beauty and always have, but I truly think that’s as far as it goes - substance use ocd also came up this morning? Worrying that I will become an alcoholic / that I secretly want to drugs and drink all the time I’m also getting my period in a few days and have flair ups around this time and my ovulation time. Just looking for support 🫶🏼
- Date posted
- 12w
Does anybody else face both SOOCD and ROCD? I feel like it has been an ongoing cycle since January and now its July. This all started over a “should I kiss her” thought when dropping off a friend at home and ever since then, it is ongoing. My reaction used to be to cry and panic, and now its kinda mellowing out which scares me into thinking it could be real (all because my reaction is not what it used to be). I also have been facing sheer panic anytime I face something related to coming out. For instance, I seen a post on social media the other day about a women who came out after 14 years being with a man, after she rekindled a friendship with an old female friend…My head goes “so it could happen to me”. Or for instance, the other day, my grandma gave me a hoodie to give to my mom, or for me to keep for myself if it fit, and of course when she showed it to me, it had a rainbow heart and rainbow draw strings. This immediately sent me into a stomach turning panic. On the other hand, this is causing me to feel like I need to leave my boyfriend because what if I leave him in future anyway because of my sexuality. What if im saving him? This has all stopped me from feeling anything towards him and our relationship and Im scared on what that means. I know a lot of things read that it can cause a mental shut out of emotions, and a disconnect in the relationship, but it is making me feel nothing anymore and im scared that it means its time to let go. Our relationship has been nothing but perfect for 2 years. We barely argue and if we do, it is over quickly. Hes always opening my door, checking on me, taking me to do things to create memories, etc. I know that the honeymoon phase ends quickly but im having a hard time disassociating the difference between honeymoon phase is over, this is normal, or if I should leave him and because of the SOOCD thing or maybe I really am not straight. Thank you to whoever read all this. Im sorry for it being so long.
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