Honestly I’m just confused af

Hi, I just wanted to ask if anyone experience any of these symptoms/thoughts/feelings? It’s like I always doubt that I have OCD, it’s like I experience something inside (thoughts and/or feelings), always fear based, but it’s like I feel I cannot explain what is happening inside me at the moment of the crisis, and then I start to search in the internet for the symptoms. Every time I feel like I experience an anxiety attack but not a panic attack, not with physical symptoms. Tremendous feeling of fear that something wrong with me, and that I have something else, another mental disorder and I always search in the internet to check which symptoms match what I feel at the moment of the crisis. I experience something like this at the beginning of my OCD when I felt that I may I had schizophrenia or that may I will loose my mind. But this time is different its not about getting crazy or loose control but more like if I may be a bad person. I fear that I may be a bad person and I constantly feel that may I have NPD or BPD or PPD and several, not to suggest that people that suffer from these disorders are bad people in the contrary they also suffer. But my thoughts keep persist to make me feel bad about myself by telling me that may I suffer from another mental disorder, that I am bad person and that may I hurt someone psychologically not physically. I feel like that I have fear and intrusive thoughts and feelings about mental disorders. It’s like fear about mental disorders no physical illness. Based on be a bad person without even know it. I don’t know if any of these really make any sense. I just very confusing and for me and maybe i cannot explain it with words. Thank you for reading, if anyone can relate with any of these, please let me know because I am trying to understand how to cope with all of these.

My OCD isn’t based around a specific theme, my anxiety is fuelled from any thought that is distressing to me (it could be faces, numbers, lyrics or disturbing) at any random time. I feel like I have to make the thought have purpose or I will be abnormal. So I will ruminate until I am comfortable with each thought and they keep piling up, which I know is the OCD cycle. My compulsions is to make the thoughts just right in my own way for the anxiety to go down. However, I am scared of my thoughts getting worse on their own if I just leave them and not realising what is an intrusive thought anymore. I cannot seem to go on with my day unless I ruminated. These thoughts happen anywhere, literally brushing my teeth, having a shower, sex, reading etc. What scares me is that the thoughts have no theme like I said, it just seems to anything intrusive that distresses me! I don’t seem to worry about an actual thing, just about having Intrusive thoughts themselves because I can’t focus on tasks, they always come and I get so anxious! I can’t live like a normal person. Please if you have anything that could help me from your knowledge, I am all ears!! ❤️

Hi. I’m just really scared and I want to ask questions. I have been ocd and have been really suffering since December. The intrusive thoughts come like I want them now and it’s more of a “ well oh yeah you want to do that, and it’s gonna happen” and I start panicking and can’t focus and it scares the shit out of me. Is that ocd? Or is there something wrong with my brain and I’m actually some psychopath you see in a movie? I’m terrified. Im scared to be around my family, I’m scared to be around everyone. But I’m scared to be alone as well because I’m alone with the thoughts. What if these aren’t intrusive thoughts and I’m actually some terrible person who’s gonna hurt someone or is actually some psychopath who’s crazy? I hate this so much because I use to be so happy and not have any of these intrusive thoughts or worried that I was going to to hurt someone and now I’m so scared all the time. Can someone please answer some of these questions? I just want to make sure that this is ocd and I’m not a terrible person.