do you have suicidal thoughts whenever you’re having an episode or having really bad anxiety? like i literally feel pressure on my wrists and i don’t want to do it at all, but it’s like suicidal intrusive thoughts/feelings and it’s so scary. is it just me or does it happen to any of u?
Hi love, I have definitely experienced this. In times where you’re triggered, your ocd may further the anxiety by throwing things at you like “what if this never ends?” “What if I just decided not to be here anymore?” “What if I died?” It can be SO so scary. I remember not understanding that it was my OCD at first and being so confused. I was terrified to even be by myself because I was worried I would somehow act on an intrusive thought- even going as far as building a “barrier” around me in bed when my boyfriend would leave for work. OCD can latch onto literally anything - and I know EXACTLY what you mean by pressure on your wrists. It’s almost like you’re hyperaware of your wrists. My theory is that it’s because we associate that with suicide. What you’re going through can be scary, but I urge you to look at it , stare into any uncomfortable feelings/images/urges/thoughts, and say “there’s no way to know if I would ever act on these thoughts” “I can’t be certain if these mean anything about me” I’m sending you so much love because this theme is tough! But you are absolutely not alone- as my therapist told me, there are no original thoughts with OCD! Lol
thank you so so much this helped me a lot. sometimes i really try to say like “this is just my ocd and that’s okay”, but it is really hard, sometimes i feel so soo alone, because i’m afraid that if i talk to my mom about it she will be scared of me actually doing it :((( i really don’t want to and even tho living with ocd might be taught i like being alive. i will talk to my therapist about it bc i hate ittttt
@anxiouslia I’m so sorry! It can feel isolating because intrusive thoughts are not fantasies, but other people without OCD may not understand it. While it’s good to recognize that it’s your OCD, it’s also good to know that this could be a compulsion and a form of avoidance. I would definitely lean into the “I can’t know if this is OCD or a fantasy, and I never will be 100% certain.” I’m not a therapist, but I explained this exact sensation (of pressure on wrists) to my therapist and the thoughts, and this is how we’ve decided to approach it!
I’ve experienced this for sure! The pressure has happened to me on my neck, head, and arms. It’s insane how thoughts can do that. I get suicidal thoughts almost daily sometimes multiple times a day. Unfortunately with mental disorders it’s really quite common. Please stay safe, you don’t deserve to die. I’m here if you need anyone.
right? i get them almost daily as well and i hate it so so much:( thank you, im here for you too! we will get better
I've experienced this a bit when my OCD has been really bad in the last few months. Like thinking to myself I don't want to live anymore if it means living with this anxiety, fear and unhappiness. I've also had intrusive images about harming myself when I've been feeling really low. Sending all the love and strength to you, do reach out - it helped me a lot when I was telling myself I was all alone.
yessss! whenever i’m having a full on crisis my intrusive thoughts are like “kill yourself” or something like that and it is the worst thing:((( thank you! i do feel alone sometimes but it’s not my main ocd theme, still, it’s like it’s never going to leave me, and it freaks me out
@anxiouslia I get you... it can be so hard not to catastrophise and imagine things will never get better. Really hoping you feel a bit better soon and can find someone to talk to xx
Does anyone get “intrusive feelings”? I’ve experienced intrusive thoughts and urges, but I’m noticing intrusive feelings too. I’m about to start PMS-ing and I’m having weird depressed feelings like “I hate my life, everything sucks, maybe i want to die”. I have suicidal OCD and it seems like this is what my brain gravitates towards when I’m under stress. Even though I DO NOT want to die by any means, my brain throws these thoughts at me and it’s so scary bc I feel like maybe a part of me actually wants to do it. Idk why I feel depressed and shitty about my life when really I don’t want to be you know?? What do you guys think?
This is so hard to explain so bear with me. After having violent intrusive thoughts and urges for a long time, sometimes when I'm really anxious I won't get obsessed with a particular thought/urge but moreso all of them combined. It feels like I need to release the urge and just do something. My mind RACES and it's like "do this, do that, so something to release this pent up anxiety" And I get so scared I need to like lock myself in a room or I feel like I need to be in a hospital where I'm restrained to prevent myself from doing one of these things. It's like the disorder has advanced so far that it's not 1 thought at a time anymore, it's like all of them and then some during an episode. Again it's so hard to articulate.
Can intrusive thoughts be so intense? It seriously feels like someone else is in my brain. My thoughts consist of “What if I just..” “It would be so easy…” and they are horrible so so so horrible. I hate these thoughts so much but why do they feel this way. I would never ever do any of these things but sometimes I can’t help but think what if I do? What if I give in. It’s so terrifying. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts that genuinely feel like it’s you for a second and then you feel immense regret?
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