Need help with POCD

Hello I’m struggling really bad with POCD. It’s the absolute worst because the intrusive thoughts are from my own child. I feel so sick like a complete monster to the point that have felt very suicidal I’ve gone to the ER they gave me some medicine but that didn’t help I’ve been looking for therapist in my area and they all seem to be fully booked or there isn’t any . I’m feeling very lost and I don’t want to give up on my family if anyone has any suggestions please let me know . I’ve looked in NOCD does any one have experience with them ? Should I go in turn myself in to inpatient. The thoughts get very Loud at night that it’s unbearable

Username: Idontknowausername Idontknowaus...

Date posted: 2y ago

I have pocd and zocd and I’ll give you what gets me through it. Avoid avoidance, whatever you do don’t start avoiding because then that makes it all the harder to get back in there. My other tip is to listen to you, not your ocd. What do /you/ want. Sometimes the voices are mishmashed sometimes your ocd is gonna try to sneak in there. But ask yourself “what do I want” and if you say, “I don’t want to hurt my child” trust that. Also, remember that ocd targets what you care most about, that shows that you are a good mom. You care enough about your kid for you ocd to feed off of. With groinals or anything similar the only thing that works for me is paying it no attention. It’s the hardest shit in the world because you want to freak out and make it go away but you have to know there’s nothing you can do it’s a storm, you just have to wait for it to pass. With si it’s always okay to reach out to friends or even hotlines Ik how hard it is trust me. Sending all my best.

Username: CrawfishCrawfish

Date posted: 2y ago

I've been there. So difficult for sure. What are you avoiding with your child?

Username: CrawfishCrawfish

Date posted: 2y ago

Totally understand!! Definitely don't give into your OCD. It's trying to control you. When I was in therapy for this specific sub type, they gave me a few things to work on. One of them was to start giving my kids baths and changing them. So instead of my wife doing this I would take over. I remember crying and having the worst time ever doing this but it got way better the more I did it. If there would be any advice I could give you is to do EVERYTHING that your OCD is telling you not to do.

Username: CrawfishCrawfish

Date posted: 2y ago

Oh yes totally had that fear too!! Don't worry it is a part of the OCD and anxiety. It honestly gets so much better but you gotta do erp and it's so difficult and so scary but it does work. Not I have two daughters and am pretty totally free from that with them. Just keep pushing! If you use WhatsApp I can add you or you can always just reply to this feed whenever you need help

Username: anthonyjdmanthonyjdm

Date posted: 2y ago

I will be definitely trying to do more with my child I’ve just been so scared that maybe it’s not my OCD and it’s so hard for me to know what thought is what . Sometimes it gets so loud that my head is scream” you want to do something you want to go and do something “ that makes me panic so bad that I have to be away from my family. I really hope ERP and medicine helps

Username: anthonyjdmanthonyjdm

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m avoiding just about everything. I’m almost debating moving out because I feel so disgusted with my self . It’s very hard to think why does my brain make these horrible images/thoughts

Username: CrawfishCrawfish

Date posted: 2y ago

I honestly hVe no problem keeping in contact with you as well when you need help

Username: anthonyjdmanthonyjdm

Date posted: 2y ago

I’ve read that’s what I should be doing. But I’m SOOO scared that I with get a groinal reposone and I won’t be able to stop my mind from there I get so scared of my child I hate it so much tomorrow there giving my some Zoloft I hope that helps . I really appreciate the response makes me feel more calm but still my mind is always doubting I would appreciate staying in contact

Username: anthonyjdmanthonyjdm

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you so much you really gave me hope I will be trying to do erp. I hope I can recover from this. I’ll have to download the app I’m Not to familiar with it .

Username: CrawfishCrawfish

Date posted: 2y ago

Ok no problem! I could always give you my email as well. No pressure though Hha

Username: EnyaEnya

Date posted: 2y ago

I'm so sorry you are going through this and proud of you, as you became a mother despite OCD!

Username: MariiiMariii

Date posted: 2y ago

Don't give up. As the other people said , don't let ocd get to you Fuck it You can win this fight Fuck ocd for real You can do it I know you can You're strong don't give in to compulsions try to let the thoughts in, and don't engage with them you're not your ocd , trust me Okay, wishing you the best❤️

Username: letsgo

Date posted: 5y ago

POCD TW. Need some help. Hey guys! I hope everyone is doing well as of lately. I’ve been doing ~decent~ better than I was say 4-5 months ago. Due to the Lexapro I’ve been on it’s definitely made a dent. But everyday is still a struggle. Lately I feel as if I’m faking all of my POCD. Everything started with one particular child. I don’t know exactly what, but it started to make me feel like I had feelings or something like that. I hated it. I’ve been an anxious mess since. The thing that’s bothering me is I don’t see much online about people’s OCD particularly targeting one person. I also have it about other children in general. But it’s heavily influenced by one. There is an hour that goes by that I’m not thinking something about the child, sexual or not sexual it can just be general things. My thoughts tell me I want to be around this child, they tell me to walk by her so she will notice me. I hate this and want this to end. I want to go back to myself in September when I was going on dates with girls my age, and thinking about that. I would NEVER hurt a child. Never wanted too. I just need support. I went to a OCD specialist back in January who told me she definitely thought I had OCD. I haven’t been able to go back because of my work schedule. But I want too. I just want to feel normal. Can anyone relate? Idk. I’m just depressed again.

POCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Anonymous

Hi all. I opened up to my psychiatrist today (my therapist and ocd therapist know) about the intrusive thoughts I've been having. The one thought would pop up over and over "child porn" and it made me so sick to my stomach because I can't believe I would think of such a thing. Then the thoughts were more dark like thinking of touching my son and even images of that happening..then came urges...and i felt so guilty and disgusted with myself :( after I told my psychiatrist ( who is currently treating me for bipolar 1) he was so concerned and told me I need to stay with my mom to make sure my son is safe. To not trust myself and have someone watch me. Well that made me feel a whole lot worse! The thoughts were actually subsiding this week and talking about it with him made the "child porn" thought pop up again. I just feel like I'm failing at life and as a mother. My immediate family think I should turn myself into a mental health facility and have intensive treatment. They think because I have those thoughts that I want to act on them or to let it go. I don't want to act on them and would never! Im scared of my thoughts and thats the problem. This is so frustrating.

Username: RedPanda89

Date posted: 1y ago

Struggling with POCD

I'm really struggling today, I've had OCD diagnosed for around 12 years and it comes and goes but recently I'm experiencing some of the biggest waves I've ever had. I have a 2 year old daughter and I love her with everything I have, she's my absolute world but the OCD centres around her and it's really intensified recently. I try not to avoid anything but my OCD is saying to just try it out, just once, to see if I like it then I'll know for sure. I'm sat here in floods of tears because I'm so scared. What if I do? I don't want to harm her in any way at all, but my OCD just keeps saying I need to try. I brushed it away yesterday saying yea, yea OCD whatever you say we'll try tomorrow and now tomorrow is here my brain is just making me feel like I have to, to know for certain and I'm scared. I want to call the Samaritans but I'm scared they'll think I'm a risk to my daughter and lock me up. I'm so tired of feeling this way, just scared all the time that I'm going to give in and just try it once to shut the OCD up but I feel sick at the thought. Someone help me please.

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