Finnishgirl
- Date posted
- 3y
Its bad again
I feel like everything in my past tell me that my theme is real.
MkeMke
- Date posted
- 3y
Of course you do. You have ocd, hun. That's what it does. I have things from my past that have come back to haunt me as well. Things I used to be able to think about so casually, and just be like whatever🤷♀️. But I choose to believe that if these things didn't bother me before, they don't have to bother me again. I'm already much better than I was. I've accepted the ambiguity around these things, and have some of that confidence back that I had before. It's so hard, but we get to choose our identities. We get to decide if certain actions mean something or not--just like the rest of the non-ocd population.
MkeMke
- Date posted
- 3y
Remember, ocd can't tell you who you are. Ocd can't change you. You decide who you are based on your life and experiences. Treat your ocd so you can gain some clarity and start trusting yourself again!
FinnishgirlFinnishgirl
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for your words!! I am undiagnosed but i have had this like three years and it has just come worse. Sexual therapist who knows what hocd is, told me that i have it. She couldn't diagnosis me because she was just sexual therapist who knows hocd well because she have a few clients who suffer from it. I am very young, 14 years old. So its just hard because you are in that age where everyone is growing up, but i feel that i am stuck because my lovely ocd.I dont know if its really is ocd but i hope so. I have time for youth psychiatrist when I go to back to school. I am scared of going school because there are many things that triggers me. Right now i am scared he most that the physiactrist tell me that i dont have ocd or that she give me wrong diagnosis. Idk i just want live My life i dont what i am, bi, gay, straight, an elephant or a washing machine. I just want to feel myself.
FinnishgirlFinnishgirl
- Date posted
- 3y
@Finnishgirl I dont care what i am* sorryyy my english sucks
MkeMke
- Date posted
- 3y
@Finnishgirl First things first, people with ocd are very quick to doubt their diagnosis. It's very, very likely you have ocd. Especially if this has persisted for that long, and you're still ruminating so much about it. Second, you are a beautiful, wonderful young girl who is worthy of joy and happiness. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. Truth is, you don't have anything to figure out even though it feels like you do. Until you're able to talk with a therapist--try taking some time to be kind to yourself and reconnect with the people and hobbies that ground you & make you feel like yourself. You're so young. So so young. Anxiety is hard for anyone at any age, but I'm so sorry it struck you this young. Remember, be kind to yourself. Allow feelings and thoughts to come and go like an annoying neighbor who likes to visit all the time. Start to get curious about other things in life--do you have any favorite hobbies? Sports? And please do your best to embrace going back to school. It will be challenging, but you can handle it. Ocd will try to tell you otherwise, but you've handled all of your hardest days so far. You are so much stronger than you realize. Seek community here on the app and know you're never alone. 💛 please try to not give into compulsions. Do it for future you who will look back on all of this and be thankful she worked so hard to fight it. 💪 You're still you. You're still growing and learning. And you will have your confidence back--I assure you!
FinnishgirlFinnishgirl
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mke Thank you so so much! You don't even no how much those words mean to me! ❤️❤️❤️
MkeMke
- Date posted
- 3y
@Finnishgirl Of course!
Related posts
sofiaraaah7
- Date posted
- 21w
It must be real now
I’m struggling badly. I did something about a month ago which I now realize was probably testing, but what scares me is I feel like I liked it, which is horrifying. What’s even worse though, is after I did it, I was able to brush it off quickly and not be too bothered by it, as I was still very anxious on other thoughts I was experiencing. Now those thoughts are meaningless and THIS is what’s causing tremendous anxiety, but the fact that I didn’t feel anxiety about it after I did it seals the deal for me. I mean, did feel anxious and guilty after I did it, but I was able to dismiss it somewhat quickly, and I remember that memory came up a couple of times within the month after I did it but like I said, it hasn’t too hard to dismiss it. I really feel like it’s denial. The fact that I wasn’t that anxious about it and tried to justify it/dismiss it HAS to mean it’s been denial all this time, there just no way this is OCD :( Right now I’m anxious about the fact that I might’ve liked it AND the fact that I wasn’t anxious about it for a while. It is really just a torment to ruminate on, and I would never do that thing again, but the fact that I did it and felt like I liked it is beyond terrifying. I feel like I have proof now, I’m trying to figure out why I did it and what it meant, and why I wasn’t super anxious the following weeks after, I mean it WAS uncomfortable to think back on, but I feel like the fact I wasn’t super anxious about it means I was in denial or repressing my true self. I am so so scared. I’ve been worried about this for the past week and a half :( (This is all centered on the same theme btw.)
Mk3
- Date posted
- 20w
Rocd
I’ve had different themes of ocd throughout my life. Can they all differ such as how the thoughts may present? Currently my thoughts feel so true immediately (like they genuinely feel like what I think) but in the last theme I feel like it may have been more of a “what if I think this” type of situation
Anonynmous19
- Date posted
- 18w
Relapse
Im struggling with false memory pocd sexual what if thoughts. I discussed it with three therapists. Did CBT and ERP. Ive been free of this intrusive thoughts for 11 months and now its back and i feel like at square onewith doubt. Redoubting things ive already did therapy on and disproved. I felt inner peace and fine for almost a year and now back to feeling stuck ruminating questioning whats real memory and whats false memory even though deep down i kmkw its false memory i have evidence against the thoughts and its so ego dystonic theres no proof as my therapist said.
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